but everythingmeans nothing.

Sunday, June 29, 2008
hey... im ok here as usual! life been ok and i still can cope.. tis week and the few weeks to come.. im gona learn a lot of new thing! yahhoo.... shiok... dah expert sikit bleh buat ot then bolehlah aku dapat extra duit buat blanja... lepas dapat byk duit.. i will love to travel and after tat i will make sure i go umrah and go italy!! yeah......i wud be happy to travel and whud be happy to have a happy life soon.. although i didnt get the man i wanted ... i still hope god help me in the future...meet me the man i can survive with and love me for who i am..
with the man im now... i juz can say... i'll go with the flow... if he's mend to be mine.. he will always be mine.. for sure... if not then.. dnt have to bother...
keep myself bz now with my job and im sure i'll be able to cover up those shits thing tat had happen to me b4... im blessed by god and i noe the right path of my life journey... my destination is still long to go.. im here for myself.. for my own life.... ahahaha!
allah maha besar.. dia tahu segalanya..... insyallah, dgn nama allah aku hidup dan dengan allah juga lah aku jalaninyer dengan ketenangan,kekuatan iman dan kesabaran... insyallah semuanya akan menjadi baik dan senang.... amin!!
taking ot next week... werking short hours this week.... bough tat moschino perfume hippy yellow bottle.. it is so sweet and strong.. i like it man! got free gift jugak.. and i also get a t-shirt from levis, teh second shirt for only 23... nice huh! weekekekee.. oklah, bye!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:04 PM

Saturday, June 28, 2008
Bob Marley say Don’t look on people as something else, look on people just as people. God’s creations. I don’t check the book, I just go on feelings.
Bob Marley say When the time comes, people will seek the truth in all things. They get it when they are ready to hear it.
yeah..rastafari is great... reggae all the way..hahaha!
later werk at 6.30..boring ler...i hate 6.30 shift man... no allowance lagik.. haiz! oklah peeps.. c ya!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:44 AM

Friday, June 27, 2008
aku rest nari besok dah keje pagi balik..duh! boring ler.. hehe! tapi kalau adem ember gerek fun... kalau tak jgn harap ler.... hmmmpphh!! aku pun bosan nanti... our plan yesterday to mit up was cancelled coz he got not enuff cash... haiz! sedih erk... takpelah.. tapi evrytime nak mit aku kene ade cash... kalau dier nak jumpe je memang takde cash pun takpe... tapi im still wondering his gf.. y so stupid man?? y??? hahhaa.... wateverlah eh... its up to him n her... i jus follow wat got had set my life and path journey for me... im juz amazed! i noe i like him.. but... wateverlah... and one more thing.. im kiping money to travel and to buy things tat i wanted to buy like bags and perfumes.. hehehe kene otalah beb! insyallah if everything goes fine.. i'll take up ot next thursday morning! dada!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:54 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008
hari ni 3rd day ojt..hehehe.. life has been ok lah... the "lah" mesti ader eh?? still doing fine and lots of thing to learn man... learn from everione and i hope its gona be ok and fun soon... cumer tu lah..taktau kene tanyer seh...its a must..!! dada...
supposed to mit up with him at nite tapi dier tak jadi.. besok kite off pun tak gune coz dier dah nak kuar pi beli barang kawin kwn dier... aku teke je betul lak tuh.. paNDAI EH...dier pun taktau nak ckp ape coz aku teka semua betul... i guess dier kwn yg dulu sikit ario kenalkan dier dgn kekasih dier tuh... dulu kwn dier tuh dah tunang... so.. now??? they getting married.. baguslah eh...
tanye dier bile nak kawin,dier ckp takde duit.. tak kawin,no money lah... takmu kawin lah... your ryte.. kire nak buat dosa sampai tua ar??? ahahahahaha....
biarlah... but my heart still need him.. but i must learn to let go man.. must! oklah peeps... i gtg.. c ya all soon.. besok off! hoorraaayyy..........yeah!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:50 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
love for him is getting strong...fri he going to go out with his fren to get his fren wedding gifts... i guess it right.. haha! dun play me out man...
anyways.... he is the man i like since last time... i like.... how bad it is.. he has been the soul of my heart.. like him so much but hes not with me sumting. i juz love to be with him... my solo krischeck was stuck up..haha! check in wrong perseon but lucky he reaslise it..hhahahha.. i gtg.. c ya!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:53 AM

Sunday, June 22, 2008
if u noe how much i luv u...then u will be thinking how tis cud happen...
dont you feel bored with her... next year january.. u and her already seems to be 4 mths years together... then.. i wil be the most sad gerl here... the man i luv is in luv with another woman..haiz... sad to say yar???wat to do... tats life... i cant make him love me,cant force him to love me... but he wil more or less have th care for me coz i had given him my life and love... he shud noe although its tough...
life with him is wat i always wanted...if i can found sumone like him... i wud be happy but of coz a better behaviour than him...i love him.. love him for what he is.... aku sanggup buat ape je untuk dier... tapi untuk diri aku.. untuk hapi aku sanggup... orang kata kaalu kite sayang orang tuh..kite harus melepaskannya... tapi aku belum mampu untuk melepaskannya..aku maseh belum nak tinggalkan dier.. tahlah.. rindu aku kat dier teramat rindu.. tak boleh dipisahkan dari nyawa..
"allah s.w.t. berfirman,"hai anak adam,ketahuilah bahawa barag halal datang kepadamu secara setitis2,sedang narang haram mendatangimu bagaikan air bah.siapa yang kehidupannya jernih,maka jernih pulalah agamanya...."
"Rasullulah bersabda..janganlah kamu jadi orang yang tak berpendirian,ia berkata,aku bersama manusia,jika mereka berbuat baik,maka aku pun akan baik,jika manusia berbuat jahat maka aku pun akan berbuat jahat,tetapi persiapkanlah dirimu,jika manusia berbuat baik,maka berbuat baiklah kamu,dan jika mereka berbuat jahat,maka jauhilah kejahatan mereka......"
jika tuhan allah berkehendak dia jodoh aku.. aku terima dan redha.... amin!!
btw.. i juz came back from KL.. watch the nur and dara show.. oklah not bad but half way je coz i was late.. my bus got stuck to shah alam.. hahah!haiz.. later i wanna watch italy and spain.. hope italy won! but pirlo and gatusso tak main.. haiz! klah... byes!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:03 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008
hey babe! how r u? im great myself here... heheh! life been great so far with new frens around.. but next week im gona be sola at check in.. gonna be a bit messy i guess.. haha!i miz him siah... if i can make him be mine.. im gona be so happy to the max coz what i want i get and he is the apple of my eye.. the sweetest man of my heart.. haha! wat crap... if i can get him.. i wud be the happiest gerl forever in life..
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
---------------------------------------------
LIKE THE ABOVE SONG...GREAT... HAIZ...
HOPE TO MIT HIM SOON.. COZ... IF JODOH TAK KEMANA..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:31 AM

Monday, June 16, 2008
yuuhhuu..im at home now.... life has been great tis few days... and im back with my mento 4 today...ekekek... sat was my great day.. had fun and i really love my day!
jumpe buah hati ....
cant wait for our next miting man... hope he enjoy himself too..miz u man...
pay slip out.. pay was pathetic but i managed to get 1.144..oklah.. bersyukur... becos i wen for class.. so my pay was little..next mth maybe.. hey u noe wat?? yesterday met cik leha and cik buang at geylang in the evening..they jus come back from mekah.... pegi mengerjakan umrah.. duh! hapi eh..? 15 days siah... i like...
hope i can go soon.. its my dream to... haiz....
maybe shud try tm fouzy.. the noe how to handle i guess... since my father and two brother wont be going... i hope tuhan akan menerima kehadiran aku disana.. insyallah!!
oklah peeps.... 39 days to bdae.. haiz,,, still far but counting! 24??? old siah.... oklah peeps... dada!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|7:51 PM

Sunday, June 15, 2008
the osng better in time is specially for me i guess.... hehe!
ada makna siol tuh...weeehhheeee...............
it for me and him.... mit him yesterday and im on mc for the first time at sats..
forthe first and last mc i guess... before confrmation...
if can change to leave ok juga.. klah.. u take care yeah.. i need to go after all... going geylang with mum... i hope hes gona be fine and.. miz him lots!! dada....
andai odoh itu ada... aku redha.. amin!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:50 PM

bleeding love lyrics from leona lewis
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
----------------------------------------------------
better in time leona lewis
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remaind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:25 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2008
draw 1-1??? wa the hell..haiz..sygnyer italy and romania draw...i love italy man.. they can only hope to c holland won.. in order to won have chance in this cuming match with france...da....
i at t3 row 6 for two days with shiqin..so far so good... but then... tis is for jclas pax.. u noe wat..this pax going to milan or mxp.. he holding business class tiket with a fee of sgd 6258k...wah!!! byk seh duit dorg.... haya!! its much expensive man.. but its a travel from their company werkplace... haiz!!!
i must have 5k in order to g italy for 15 days!!! haahahahahhaa..yyyuuhhhuuu......
if i go there... maybe im going italy ,france and spain... dududud....hehhee
i already guess his not gona msg me... well, i guess he just get from his gal today... yeah...ckp nak jumpe aku besok... dgn keadaan dier mcm nie jgn haraplah dier jumpe aku.tak tahannyer manusia... hahaha! sudahlah nur.. forget him man...
u deserve a beter man the!!!!!
sad and upset... watever.... life must go on.... cheerss for azurri...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:23 AM

Friday, June 13, 2008
if hes mend to be mind than he is mine.. im very sure of this...!!!
well... the feeling between us is strong... y he still look 4 me wen he aready got gf..must be sumting mah..hahhaa! but i juz go with the flow.. dun even bother to make myself felt guilty.. duh! i like himm only him..hhahah... padahal setakat saje2.. suke2 jer.. wooooohhhooo.....life mus go on.. although i havnt got him fully! ok deh.. take care...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:10 AM

Wednesday, June 11, 2008
memories of us....SATS 664...



NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:58 PM

hola hola!! weeehhheee.... ape kahbar?im great but feel like nak demam... tapi tak demam,. jus having cough and running nose that non stop..hhaha!
euro 2008 has started and im upset with italy match on tuesday morn... they didnt won and wat im scared is they cant make it later on to the match...u noe lah.. i really wanted tehm to win sumore they are the winner and champion for world cup 2006! time really flies very fast huh...? hmmm... juz pray hard they won the next two match with FRANCE and ROMANIA..all the best azzurris! luv u all....
me and him still contact liek usual and we r getting more closer this time i guess.... hehe! i miz him lots if only he noes how much i luv him..he wud maybe avoid from me...but i guess... he do like me a bit still.. juz tat i have to be more professional mah..haha! watever... but we both have our own world and i got my own life to live in... he got his own world too.. he got his gf with him while me?? i got no bf but he is sumone that kips my life accompanied wen im just bored and nothing to do.... hell yeah! hahaha.... i juz hope that our frenship will last without anything to be angry or fight for... hahah! after 8 years of noeing him... he is stil the apple of my eye.... weee....!! seandainya dia jodoh aku...aku bersyukur pada tuhan kerna dia lah insan yg telah aku serahkan segalanya...cheh! cinta ku semuanya padanya....
next week im flying to kl....oklah.. gtg! dada...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:38 PM

Sunday, June 08, 2008
hey blog..im doing fine.. its the starting of euro 2008... fast eh! aas usual i support italy! ehehehe... anywayz.. juz now wen expo.. now at home areDY.. BLOG BESOK KAY... miss him so much! dada...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:41 AM

Tuesday, June 03, 2008
hey! mum told me...
angah said..." siapa suruh dia beli kereta? dia yang nak sangat kan beli,dia bayar lah.. ape saya pulak?" haiz.... ape nasib badan aku nie eh?
ada abang dua2 tak penah nak tolong aku... ape bleh buat... tis is my life... i have to accept its up and down..watever it is.. life still need to go on... tak guna ade abang pon...
haiz......im juz hoping that my life during check in wil be much more better next week... i juz hope for the better... thanks mum and dad for everything u gave me! i luv u both lots.. without u both i dunno wat my life wud be... i will be alone.. no one to guide my pathway and my journey life..u both makes my way easy..not becos im a daughter of urs.. but maybe becos of the way i behave and how i take care of u both... thank god... although im bad and lots of sins,i noe im still sumone who u both needs..coz... how bad i am.. im still ur daughter...i noe that! haiz..... i noe my limits.... but ur daughter here is in love with him...him the only one!!!!
hahaha... god can u give him to me!! i like only him.... hahah! semoga tuhan mengampuni aku....
lakukan kebaikan untuk dirimu...
allah s.w.t berfirman,"hai anak adam! ajukanlah kebaikan untuk dirimu,nescaya akan kamu dapati pahalanya di sisiku sebelum kematian mengambil nyawamu" (hadis qudsi)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:31 PM

Monday, June 02, 2008
i pass my test but only 87 percent! arrgghh... boring! i aim for 90% but tak dpt...wat to do kan? next week dah ojt keje kat airport..hope it will be a gud experiecne for me.. dada! love him much! byes!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:31 PM

Sunday, June 01, 2008

top is me and fathiyah... bottom is my new haircut face..haha!!

helo!!! how r u frens...... me fine!! anywayz.... im juz having the feeling that he will be mine one day! dunno y leh.... but maybe he is gona be mine till the end of my life.. haha! crapla yati! i juz still love him but i have to go on with my life... we must be happy in life u noe!! hahahaa..... hari2 aku doakan.... sekiranya dia jodoh ak.. satukanlah dan dekatkanlah kami... sekiranya jodoh aku dgn org lain,kau temukan aku dgn insan itu yg dapat menjadi temanku dunia akhirat... amin!! hehehe
went to sen mum to masjid.... then we go to ikea alexandra... then go to autobacs...pusing punye pusing, tak dpt2... geram seh aku... dah brape lama baru dapat! sempat top up minya semua... haha!! haiz!!! watever.... tis is my life!
i wish fro my bdae... i cant have him the whole day! hahaha! a request can? he is the man of my heart.... the man of my dreams is fahri but.... i dun want him to marry two person...i juz want him to marry me!! heheh tak rela dimadukan.. kekek! tapi kalau seandainya..... aku kene madu dgn si dia tuh.... maybe..ntah, coz... the guy he luv is the man in my heart! winks!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:13 PM