but everythingmeans nothing.

Saturday, May 31, 2008
helo! haiz.... i miz him bebe! miz him to the max.... i juz dunnoe how to let him go... coz i still love him and he will always be in my heart... duh!!!! life is never hapi without sumone u love.. hahha!
kalau aku jodoh dgn dier..... insyallah.. tuhan tunjukkan jalannya! amin....
my krischeck test was ok and i hope i passed.. thanks to my trainer charmaine for going tru the answers.. love u babe! i left with one week with my batchmate b4 all of us got seperated.... shift werk is gona reflect us from 9june onwards! hahahah....take care peepss...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:09 AM

Thursday, May 29, 2008
hey! i mit my love on tuesday after werk.. since its raining, i ask him to send me home! ehehehehe..........shiok...free transport.. as usual we mit up and talk2 for a while lah...i miz him now.. haha! stop it yati.. hes sumones guy! watever... he still bright up my life... watever!
i already noe my mentor for check in.. i got my arr dep mentor again.. coincidence man... since i ask 4 off on sat 21st june.. i got it!
tomorow my test for krischeck... wish me gud luck babe! nites!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:18 PM

Sunday, May 25, 2008
my new pics with hew haircuts!! how? any difference! hehehe... how sweet i am than longer hair...ahackz!! merepek jer... anyway.. im hapi ! i cut at admiralty.. the price is 25 lah.. since theres tis package i pay 55 plus 10 for iron and i pay a total of 65... 55 dolar is for 3 haircut any time.... so i dun have to pay next time... weeehhheee....! oklah.. byes!!!




NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:16 PM

we msg2 and he say he going out with his gerl...
then i say, "yahlah,shes ur 1st priority"...
he say,"aik? jelous ke... bla bla bla...."
i replied "u rasa scandal u nie bleh jeles ke? pompuankan..? bla bla bla..."
he says," sorie eh.. i didnt mean tat"
i says,"jgn marahlah.."
he says,takdelah i tak marah... u shud marah..but im not stopping u from getting a guy for urself k,its unfair for me to do so,once u attached kita jgn..... lagi kay?.."
i replied.."i noe tat,lambat laun dapat jugak,c how the situation kay?
he reply,"ok bout us kdg2.......if u tak suka u bilang kay..sumtimes i felt u kasi i pasal nak ambik hati i..i dun feel gd tat way..."
i say.." amik hati u pun tak guna u.. takkan kemana u,tak guna pun...
he says"... i pun tak tahu,ntahlha..i need to get changed now.. msg u back.. u tink betul2.. if u tink its wastin of our time den i accept watever decision u gonna make k...?"...
i say..." satu u kene ingat.. tak semestinya i .... u,i mintank u suka i tau..nvmlah,nanti u fre lepas balik ke u nak msg2 jela k. i dun wanna spoilt ur day...take care...
he dun reply again coz i already told him so... yahlah.. its hard for the two of us now.. i dunno! i dunno wat lacks him... i dunnoe y he needs me.. y he still waste time on me.. and i dunno y i still waste time on him who i noe i wont get at all...
isnt it the two of us wasting time.... haiz... i dunno! i have to be myself man... i juzdun get it.... my whole age of 23 have been spoilt by our decision i guesss....
am i bad? am i just a stupid girl who dunnoe how to appreciate myself... i juz dunnoe what i shud do the.... i shud have been werking hard on myself... i shud not have been tinking of him... until wen will our relationship be like this.. susah kan?? i guess he had his own prob and me too....nak ckp lack of love.. hes not...
if im him,maybe, i'll let the gerl who is with me go.... let her find sumone who can love her and let she be happi with her life... the more i with her.. the more i will be making her herat broken.. i got a gal... so y shud i still prompt on her?? i have everything that i need... y shud i ask her out still... y shud i? i dun wanna c her get hurt.. i dun want to feel guilty with my gerl.... my gerl is everything.. in the first place y im attached to my ger?after 3 years with her... y shud i waste my time with her? do i love my gerl? honestly do i?? if i do.. i shud not have cheted on her... i shud love her more... and i shud have take gud care of her more often than get her being hurt...i guess shes all mine! i shud have not cheat behind her.. having an afair with sumone else being her... i shud not do tat... she my gerl man!!
i just feel guilty over her and over my own gal....we shud changed for the better than...i shud have let yati go.... and cherish my love with my gerl... b4 my gerl noe anything behind me... before we fight out things... i shud stay away from yati... haiz.... dunno!!!
haiz.... wat shud i do??? shud i left him.. or shud i stay iwth this way... its hard man... lagi kite keje dekat.. arrgghh!!! watever...let me tink....decisions to let go is hard to make,...dada..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:10 PM

cimta ini membunuhku- d'massive
Kau membuat ku berantakan
Kau membuat ku tak karuan
Kau membuat ku tak berdaya
Kau menolakku acuhkan diriku
Bagaimana caranya untuk
Meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
Kusadari ku tak sempurna
Ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan
Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku
Uwoo... u u u... huu u u.
Haa a a a a...
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:04 PM

ungu@cinta dalam hati
-specially for him who has make feel hapi,sad,guilty,confused,etc... and heartbroken!
Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa di cintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu
Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku
Bahagia untukku
Ku ingin kau tahu
Diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu
Hingga ujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini
Bahagia untuk sekejap saja
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:57 PM

Saturday, May 24, 2008
hie babe! im juz bored this nite now... i hope i can go out at nite and can go around the road alone.. but becoz i havnt passed my oarking yet i have to accompanied by sumone... duh!! happy bdae mar... nari pulak aku pegi batam pagi tadik... buy brg2 dapur...then buy jco donut and coffee,buy pizza hut, anw and kfc.. wah! hahahaha.... semua aku kepingin! bought get married dvd... haiz....
i juz hope that o ne day my life wud be happier and better with sumone around as my life partner... hope i will find tat one man one day soon.... insyallah!
im juz frustrated with him! suck lah.. i hate him but i love him... dada..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:26 PM

Tuesday, May 20, 2008
hey! today is her gerl graduation ceremony... wah! she graduate aready seh... tats gud! at last yeah... haiz... after a very lon time man...since the year... 2005 i guess... weh he leaves me! duh... wat the hell... i juz cant imagine... wats gud with tat gerl.. me? as a sacndal was being stupid to play around with his... nanti feeling aku jugak get hurt.. but i already make up my mind.. wen i got a bf or so callled future husband... i'll let him go with his own life.. no more attach between us and will not be miting him like usual maybe! hhhmmmm... ntah eh.. i juz feel its the time to find a man in my life so that i can get married soon! i wanted too but there is still no man in my mind.. haha! i juz hope i get one soon... so by getting one.. the problem between me and him will be solve.. he dun have to lie, he dun have to cover up... while me, no more heart feeling.. no more hurt... coz hes never gona be mine!! god is the one who mit us up and god will be the one who seperate us soon! i believe in gods will and i believe god will mit me up wth sumone tat can take gud care of me... tats my life.... im sick and tired after 8 years with him.... 8 years of bad feeling and 8 years been hurt by him... sad to say, he wont be mine although i sacrificed a lot for him... in life, i had to sacrifice for the person who i love. i have to let him go although its real tough and hard to... i have to learn how to be brave and learn how to forgive and forget... hes not mine! if hes mine, he will be mine! if hes not... jus let him happy with the one he loves... i dun wanna spoilt his relationship but in heart i feel i wanted to make him suffer like i suffer... i want him to noe how bad and hurt i felt wen he leaves me one fine day lastt ime... i want him noe how guilty i am wit his gf... i wanna noe how sad and how pain i am wen hes with his gf! i juz need time to cure myself... this really need me to werk it out by my own way... maybe.. the last mitting with him soon will be the last and the end of our scandal relationship... if god want us to be together,then he will be mine! watever it is.. i juz hope god will help me... haiz!!!tahlah.... i juz love him like no one else do... it cums and go... it really makes me sad... but i have to let him go seriusly! hes not mine man.......!!!
ya allah.. berilah aku kekuatan untuk melupakan dia.... aku mohon padamu... lepaskanlah perasaan aku padanya... kau jauhkanlah hatiku darinya.. amin!!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
tadi,my batch wen for baggage tour at t2... and then we wen for check in observation.. fun lah! im attach to mala! she like and love my smile man.. haha! hehe.. how sweet to hear tat...shes a malaysian... can speak malay and can speak english... remember my lifetime job at motorola with lecthmi... my gud fren... where she go siah! ahahahaha.. missed her so much! i hope my check in frens wud be great and fun.... okla peeps.... taking care yeah! dada....
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:36 PM

Monday, May 19, 2008
hola...wat a boring weekend! never go anywhere oso.... haiz.. on saturday i did go to expo with mum. saw naysilla mirdad family...she is so manja with the mum... to my surprise.. the brother of nay is so hansem.. hahah! nama kenang tau! i will upload my photo with him soon...oklah... i juz hope everythings fine.. friday visa test sucks! wateverlah... i juz hope god help me with my job... besok attachment kat airport... haiz! it really sucks... nites!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:20 PM

Friday, May 16, 2008
hey! had visa test today and it waS HAHAHA.....not difficult but the question is quite hard. entahlah... im just lost.. watever it is.. ny last test must pass! tis mth get akmost 1.8k for my pay.. as usual my gross is alway 2k plus.. heeezzz... potong cpf dah dpt sikit lah... haIZ.. WAT THE HELL ! LIFE is boring man... but im jus happy to have great frens surrounded by me... they are very nice to be with...
having my 3 days off... besok saturday,sunday i ot arrival departure and mon is a public holiday vesak day! hahaha.... well, tuesday back to airport t3 for attachments. okla,fun! just tat its quite stress man.... i hope my life gona be btter... take care peeps... driving to auntie busu house later to take my magazin.... take care!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:23 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008
hey! assalammualaikum!im still doing fine.. went for course at aft5 for almost 2 weeks... so far check in was fun and ok.. just tat a bit of complicated stuff to learn..haha! the baggage counting was damn stress! the check in was fun and great... exciting isnt it??? hahhaha.................. lalalalalalalalaa....
wateverlah yeah,.. life is still as fun as wat we noe...just have to stay clam and take it easy and im sure lif is very easy,smooth and well prepared... aiyah! c howlah yar...just hoping tat my job is ok and fun... 5th may i got my car... and i love it soooo much! watever it is... i really wanna tahnk god for all that he already gave me.. find me sum1 i can be happy with! thanks!... c u again!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:42 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2008





NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:17 AM

suzuki swift was great! yeehhaaa... lifes bored... hahaha!
anyway.... if he wud be mine.. im gonna be happy but he have sumone else....
i hate this life... he and his gerl... while me? juz a scandal of his...
boringkan??? besok aku keje.. i take ot rest day for hub!
krischeck was really making me thinking hard... lots of werk to be done... boring! tats life lah.. what can i do... arrrgghhh!! watever it is... i will juz try my best... nak idup! have to crack my head..wateverlah... life is full of bull shit sumtimes... wat to do... tats life! byes!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:06 AM

Wednesday, May 07, 2008
hi! its been three daes doing krischeck at aft 5... quite bz and quite big boring too.many things to learn siah! aduh.. susah sikit..tadi keje kat airport wen for a quick study and observation at row 4 t3... it looks easy but hahaha.... its not man!!
i juz hope it will be fine one day.... krischeck is my gona be easy soon! oklah peeps... i already got my car last monday and im happy with it and its quite big! hahaha.... swift swift... jus tat i dont believe i got a car now... nites!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:19 PM

Friday, May 02, 2008
helo! im at t2 transit... updating my blog here. lately its been very bz for me... but i still try to catch up with things here..i've got my gud news!!! u noe wat.. im gona get my suzuki swift soon this sundaY! supposed to be tomorow after the vicom check inspection but then i am werking siah! so.... i have to go on sunday. its either in the morning or at nite...cant wait for it siah!! hahah... so its time for me to check on my car facilities,tidy up,designing and look up for it often... ape2 semua cek kat kereta jelah kay??? hahahahahaha....... isnt it happy to noe that im gona have a car soon.. alhamdulilah... gembira tak terasa seh aku...tak terkata2 lagi bibir nie.. ekekeke! its all gods will... god help on this....
today hes not werking so i ask him whether his going out not.. and he say yes with his gal watching movie iron man. haiz.... hapy life eh dier... dah ader gerl masuk 3 tahun together... buat kawin kot...but wen asked bout kawin, he dun wanna answer at all.... damn it! i noe i had been doing wrongs... been going out with sumones partner.... wat if im in her shoes,my gud wen bored wen out with a gerl a scandal of him and watch movie,go for eat,go to hotel... have sex even worse if he did... what wiill i feel??? of course im gona be angry and i wont forgive him for his wrong doings at all man!! i hate this kind of man.... same goes to her i guess... he did this and without his gal noeing at all behind him...im juz tired of all this things.... wen he needs me,he comes to me.. when he dont need me, he forget me and just ignore.. y??? he just need me for a while and not much ryte??? i jus hate his attitude!!! arrrgghhh......... one day... im gona make sure i mit up with his gal and let the gal noe the truth bout him...not now but sooner or later...tu lah dier...haiz!!!
buat ape sakit hati dgn sharul? dier tak gune punye.. lebih baik akui hidup sendiri... dgn hati yg tenang dan carik lelaki lain yg lebih baik dari dier... insyallah... tuhan akan temukan,jodoh aku tetap ade ditentukan allah.. setiap manusia tahu itu! insyallah!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:49 PM