thesinger
thelyrics
thechords
themelody
foryou
you're
my song.
it's been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so how can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can't help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade.
and the reasonis you.
NoRhayati Bte SaLLeH
22Nd years old
boRn on 25Th juLy 1984
Leo Gal...
North Side of Singapore
Full time Career In SpineLLi
Loves the Nature,Arts,Coffee,Adventures,Excitement..
She's Simple And independent..
Well behaved and Friendly..
Reading,outing and Stubborn...
Shes now living life to the Fullest!!
but everythingmeans nothing.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
kENAPA eh?? y?
kenapa? y must tis happen??
for the second time....
y ???kenapa?
adakah tuhan maseh ingin menguji aku?
tapi kenapa???
pasti ade sebabnya bukan?
aku redha...
aku akan nantikan...
ceritaku belum berakhir...
aku pasti...
Sitting in the train...
my eyes caught tis two couple..
with a fren....
n i noe tis two minahs
still young!
the guy,from back look familiar...
wearing t shirt..red white!
the gal...facing my side,
n the guy,sandar kat tiang tuh!...
the gal bawak beg brown...
mybe they just get back from school
mybe NYP! not too sure..
aku perasan time kat AMK!
4th cabin..
they were such a close couple,
kising n hugging eachother like mad...
from sideway the guy luk like sum1 i noe.
n yes!!!!!!!!!!!
i noe him.......
shock of my life!!!
him.............
its him................
Sharul again.......
with the gal........
arrgghh..........
for the Second time man!!
fated!!!
its really fated by god!
i stared at them....
but he??
stil.................
blind!
blind!
blind!
oh god.......
y must i saw him....
shit!
when i get down at orchard train...
i try to luk at him...
hoping he would notice me!
but............
no...
he didnt!!!!
what a bad day again..
yeah...
kip on kissing her...
hug her..
till one day....
u feel the pain .....
pain of losing sum1 u realy luv..
i dunt think tat gal deserve u...
n u dun deserve tat gal who i can kol "minahs"...
4ys ago...
i never saw u outside with a gal....
but today yesh!!!
after all tis hapen...
i saw u......
coincidence???
fated by god...
dunno.....
i hardly dunno wht else to say.
i hate tis.....
really hate..
god....
plz help me!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:20 PM
im waiting for my pay day on thursday and off day on Sunday!Today is Wednesday,time flies really fast.8 hours is so damn fast.. Thurs n Friday will be 10-11 shift.Overtime werk..for 5 hours.Im just werking,be as per normal...Bersyukur dengan rezeki tuhan.itu saja yang aku mampu...bersabar menanti hari-hari esok yang mendatang yang harus ditempuhi..Aku redha dengan kehendak tuhan.haizz... i got to go,peace be upon u..!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:25 AM
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
So far so gud!Syukur alhamdulilah...aku maseh belajar macam2 di tempat keje.the best thing is that,its about the same as CbTL.There's this customer,From 'scotland'!sWeet lady,frenly too... the weather at scotland is cold now..summer!Singapore is hot and got lot of shops!!! She with her mum.....hehe! ingat nak amek emel..tk jadik!takpe...there's a lot more people there i can find every Single day..kalo jumpe jodoh???waduh!!senang banget dong!
hahahaha.......
Besok?same time,same place!weeehheee....im tired after a day at werk,
gotta rest n im waiting for Friday to get my pay!! hmmm..... gotta face Cynthia i guess!sure never talk to me, well....lets c....the day will cum!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:21 PM
Today,im werking 3-11.My tickets wayang how??left 3 more dayz b4 its gona be July!mcm ner nie!!! oh yar,talking bout work,i guess it gona be a tiring week for me soon.No more relaxation like working at Polar.the environment i different,totally different.Weekends is gona be bz...well,i just do my job.just werk only..just do the best as i can..hmm,there's one thing i need to point out bout this place.Their table nbrs!Waduh! y use the Drink cover??never use the tag?go buy one new tags lah,so we dont hve to go round nd search for customer table nbr and orders, bit messy there.the best is still making the drinks!hmm...mcm ner eh???tkpelah,just werk like normal...i noe end of month dapat gaji!ok tak?? hahaha...best!kalau duit cukup boleh blaja baliklah...betul tak?
lagu Cinta from krisdayanti and melly is so touching!i luv it!
"Naluriku berkata,kehilangan Cinta hati bagai raga yang tak bernyawa"
must find the liriks!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:26 AM
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I luv music...
Without music,theres no way i can enjoy my life...
music give me the life...
music is always my inspiration...
the message past...mostly useful..
music is my life!
i miz school...
can i get back to school?
but then...perform better grades...
get a Diploma...
go University...
get a degree
Get a master ..
then..werk as a *********,
dunno,whats my interests??
i miss school,
i miss frens,
i miss games..
n i miss to learn new things in school..
its far too late behind...
my career now cum first....
if theres enuff money to study...
i will....
for a better grade!
Well,i luv to be in the line im working now...
Food and beverage line...
this is where i learn about
....handling peoples attitude,
....handling their Stupid complaints...
....be patients,
....be Extra careful,
....Be profesional...
....think,
....Remember,
....Suggest,
....Grow up,
....be fast,
....be alert,
....be brave,
From FnB,i learn a lotz of things...
i gain more Experience,
Self pityness...
learn not to give up...
learn from mistakes...
no one is perfect....
its fun,
enjoy,pleasure,
great,enthusiasm,satisfied
matured,thoughtful...
not forgetting,
i have learn more bout
Customer service..
smile...
say thank you...
Seing is believing,
adapt to environment n make new frens...
wow!!!!
i learn a lotz!!!
i'll still serve people...
and i noe i wont get bored,
as long as im happy,
i'll stay!
...and be the best as i can be!
Success is waiting for me in front....
i must catch up...
must!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:00 PM
Day 1 is quite ok for me.the thing is that,i get to do the drinks, both hot and cold station.hehe,best!the drink all like coffee bean style,just that the beans,the powder n the base are different.11-7,is so fast man...tomorow will be 3-11.. oklah,At least better than polar boring siah! now,im back to hands on at Coffee club! yahhoo..
end of next month 28,get pay...cut off is from 21-22 of every month..hahahaha!!! Guess what!! i get Sunday off!! customers there mostly are youngsters...mat saleh pun ramai!any italians?Spains?
hahaha..u wait long2 kay yati?
Cerita yang aku nantikan every monday nite that is,'Atas nama Cinta' is great,kesian Sagun!lelaki tuh rogol dier,haiyo! this is what we called man!!! Never use the brain..oooppsss,man like the one at that drama kay?Dont mistaken me..n..Fuad dgn Diliya will get married soon! bestnyer...tapi dlm drama jer! oh...zul,baik hati kau eh dlm drama tuh!Contoh pada lelaki2 yang ada.Aku nak cari yang mcm kau ar.
So romantic n so baik hati...bertanggungjawab,rajin,loving,jujur,ikhlas...awww...ahakz!
dahlah yati,jangan merepek kay! erm...when will i met that person who can take care of me?Dont rush into things,my day will cum! Sure..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:06 PM
Monday, June 27, 2005
Yahoo..peace be upon u! whats up?? and tomorow will be Monday! the day i've been waiting to start my new life n career.Must not waste it tomorow.Coffee club here i cum!Coffee is my world!Finally after half a year im out of coffee world,im back to it!a Cafe,as a barista.. place where i can werk due to my interest n a Full time job...
i Went to Sembawang Shooping centre with my mum in the Evening.
then bought sum household items!b4 we went to giant sembawang shopping centre,We went to Sun plaza,i actually wanted to buy the 'CBTL' drink,the Belgian latte...But too bad,the queue is long.i mean,there's 2 customer in front of me but the staff only have 1!! that one person have to do drinks,have to do numbers of blended drinks n have to shout out peoples names to collect.those people are waiting! Then,the two customers in front of me were waiting patiently,behind me another 2 queueing up..waiting too! me???? not even 5 minutes,i chow!i just cant wait!i called up my mum,who was looking around the sales to go.then...We walked pass Delifrance,oh yeah tis place have a couple of staff,tis time round my mum wanted to but the Bouquet bread.i guess the manager but not in uniform cut for me the bread,dont even show us the queue!!! then,i queue becos i just bought 1 pathetic item.theres this 3 customer who was paying,the CASHIER!!MOHD RIDWaN Didnt even see me,never even glance at me n he just serve the next 2 customer who just came in! What the Fuck is he trying to do???? i noe im Short but plz man....i came first n i just bought 1 bread that ur manager have cut into 2 for me!oh my god... even i say 'EXCUSE ME',he buat bodoh! my mum also angry,then, i feel like throwing the bread on to his face or even giving him a punch! n i tell mum,"jom mak,kita pegi,takyah beli sudah!!! kite dtg dulu kite dier tk layan" eeerrrrrrrrr...........ggggrrrrrrrrr.......shit!!!!!!!!! i just can say....UR SERVICE REALLY SUCKS!!! at least the CBTL im ok n fine with it cos i have came to the sitution b4...but this DELIFRANCE!!!! i hate it man...i also cant be patient today n cant control my anger....i just leave the bread on top of the cashier thingy n go away with n angry face!i've always been the worker,n now im the customer,but people never even show the right way of serving the customer! i've been in this line 3 yrs+ n i noe how the situation goes! aku nie dier buat mcm patung siak!!! this is what u called Customer Service when u didnt even smile n attend to the customer needs??? oh my god!!!!
then...when to giant,i ask mum bought the bread she want,we bake ourself better!!! instant lagik!susah2 sangat!haiz..........Sunday!! all service line cock up! im not saying i work better but at least have sum respect to customers like me who is actually patient!! lucky u i didnt complain to head office deli! nevermind..... what a bad sunday!then after that we go to funfair at Admiralty..2nd funfair..wah so gud!! 1 mth of funfair at my place! wweeehhheee....
im looking forward 4 tomorow...MiD shift... wish me luck in starting my new career kay?? peace!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:00 PM
Manusia nie,heran lah,tk paham-paham ape aku cakap dgn dorang.Tk paham bahasa,baik melayu,cina,india,orang putih...hish!! Kalau aku cakap nak berenti,maknanya aku nak berenti kay?haiz....tk paham ar!
asal tak telefon ar?sampai sekrg tk telefon pun!!alahai.......Buat aku tunggu tunggu mcm tunggul je! kalau takde keje jugak...aku nak rehat dulu,pi holiday then after 25th baru keje balik.penatlah... too tired! this is life! hell every minute and seconds in life! Y cant i just live in peace only?Crazy world here in singapore! suffering all the time to look for money and permanent job. Cant stand it animore!if i hd enuff money,i would just fly to Msia n take the cos i really wanted to! damn it!so sickening life! Stressful!!
watever lah..aku tak kisah dah..Hidup susah sngt laah!haiz....
Mutiara kata-
Dari Abu Hurairah,bahawasanya Nabi s.a.w bersabda: "apabila menguap salah seorg kamu dalam solat,maka hendaklah ia tutup mulutnya sedapat/serapat mungkin dan jangan ia mengatakan "ha...".kerana yang sesungguhnya yang demikian itu dari Syaitan,yang ia tertawa kerananya."(HR BUkhari)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:18 AM
Hmm..dunia seni?minat tak? Aku minat dengan dunia seni.Sejak kecil lagi waktu di sekolah Primary,aku adalah salah satu dari ahli tarian.
Dikir barat pun pernah cuma tak berkembang luas...Tarian memang tetap indah dimataku.ia adalah suatu seni yang amat berguna sekali.
hanya insan yang berminat saja dpt menghargai seni sebagai salah satu daripada kehidupan mereka.Seni banyak cabangnya..Sebagai pelakon,penyanyi,penari,penulis,pelukis,pemuzik dan sebagainyer..
aku boleh berlakon,menulis,melukis dan menari... tetapi bakaat untuk menyerlahkannyer belum masanya lagi.Sekrg aku ingin menulis,aku gemr pada sajak,puisi,pantun,karya dan cerpen.Novel dan majalah adalah salah satu info untuk aku kembangkan bidang seni aku ini.Teater juga menarik sekali.Hmmm.........yang jelas,diriku dengan seni tidak dpt dipisahkan...
haiz...Boring Sunday! what shud i do??Work??arrgghh....i feel like not going!sucks company man!haiyo...boring!Rezeki aku ade dimana2 punye! tuhan je yang akan beri setelah aku puas mencari! argghh.....
im waiting for them to kol bout tomorow! sekali tak telepon eh?? hampa aku,ish....tahlah,takdir tuhan penentu segalanya..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:51 AM
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Merpati ingin mencintai seperti ini
Cinta itu seperti kupu-kupu. Tambah dikejar, tambah lari.
Tapi kalau dibiarkan terbang, dia akan datang disaat kamu tidak
mengharapkannya.Cinta dapat membuatmu bahagia tapi sering juga bikin sedih, tapi cinta baru berharga kalau diberikan kepada seseorang yang menghargainya.
Jadi jangan terburu-buru dan pilih yang terbaik.
Cinta bukan bagaimana menjadi pasangan yang "sempurna" bagi seseorang.Tapi bagaimana menemukan seseorang yang dapat membantumu menjadi dirimu sendiri.
Jangan pernah bilang "I love you" kalau kamu tidak perduli.
Jangan pernah membicarakan perasaan yang tidak pernah ada. Jangan
pernah menyentuh hidup seseorang kalau hal itu akan menghancurkan hatinya.Jangan pernah menatap matanya kalau semua yang kamu lakukan hanya berbohong.
Hal paling kejam yang seseorang lakukan kepada orang lain adalah
membiarkannya jatuh cinta, sementara kamu tidak berniat untuk
menangkapnya...
Cinta bukan "Ini salah kamu", tapi "Ma'afkan aku".
Bukan "Kamu dimana sih?", tapi "Aku disini".
Bukan "Gimana sih kamu?", tapi "Aku ngerti kok".
Bukan "Coba kamu gak kayak gini", tapi "Aku cinta kamu seperti kamu apaadanya".
Kompatibilitas yang paling benar bukan diukur berdasarkan berapa lama
kalian sudah bersama maupun berapa sering kalian bersama, tapi apakah selama kalian bersama, kalian selalu saling mengisi satu sama lain dan saling membuat hidup yang berkualitas.
Kesedihan dan kerinduan hanya terasa selama yang kamu inginkan dan
menyayat sedalam yang kamu ijinkan. Yang berat bukan bagaimana caranya menanggulangi kesedihan dan kerinduan itu, tapi bagaimana belajar darinya.
Caranya jatuh cinta: jatuh tapi jangan terhuyung-huyung, konsisten tapi jangan memaksa, berbagi dan jangan bersikap tidak adil, mengerti dan cobalah untuk tidak banyak menuntut, sedih tapi jangan pernah simpan kesedihan itu.
Memang sakit melihat orang yang kamu cintai sedang berbahagia dengan
orang lain tapi lebih sakit lagi kalau orang yang kamu cintai itu tidakberbahagia bersama kamu.
Cinta akan menyakitkan ketika kamu berpisah dengan seseorang lebih
menyakitkan apabila kamu dilupakan oleh kekasihMu, tapi cinta akan
lebih menyakitkan lagi apabila seseorang yang kamu sayangi tidak tahu apa yang sesungguhnya kamu rasakan.
Yang paling menyedihkan dalam hidup adalah menemukan seseorang dan
jatuhcinta, hanya untuk menemukan bahwa dia bukan untuk kamu dan kamu sudah menghabiskan banyak waktu untuk orang yang tidak pernah menghargainya.
Kalau dia tidak "worth it" sekarang, dia tidak akan pernah "worth it" setahun lagi ataupun 10 tahun lagi. Biarkan dia pergi...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:10 AM
From tentang dia:
Ada yang hilang
ketika kau hilang
Hatiku
Jiwaku
Ada yang pergi
Ketika kau pergi
Senyumku
Tawaku
Hidupku ikut hilang bersamamu
Cintaku ikut pergi bersamamu
Sementara aku masih disini
Tegak berdiri
Tanpamu
From Mengejar matahari:
"Kamu tidak pernah merasa memiliki sampai kamu kehilangan"
"Orang datang dan pergi tetapi sahabat sejati akan selalu diingat di hati"
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:41 AM
Saturday again!So fast!weekend again...time is getting Shorter n flying more n more faster.8 hrs is like 3-4 hrs only now..if i werk 15 hour pun,kejAP JE.tak rasa ape2 pun,n today i get a time to relax till tomorow evening.And i set that tomorow will be my last day at Polar..Dont have 2 wait til 30th June.Coffee club needs me n i wants to go on with my interest.Thanks Mr shah for giving me the opportunity to work under u in the line i've been waiting for.im So damn happy! but.... dont be happy 100% becos i havent even start the job there.its hard 4 me to make choice now.i've written my resign letter,and monday my 1st day!good luck yati!
Peluang hanya datang sekali.Hanya orang yang bertuah saja akan mendapat peluang kali kedua.jadi,aku adalah antara manusia yang bertuah di dunia ini.My keen interest in coffee have to be brought from here..im really keen in this job! I really hope to progress from here.Most important thing...Coffee is my world!
oh yar,i msg my ite frens yesterday,thought that we cud go out together n have fun on saturday after mths never met..but,all reply late,one say -im going out,the other said- i got volunteering werk to do n the other one im werking...but,this one the one who i told u yesterday who says my blog i "scattered" all over didnt even reply! y huh??? i noe that she had migrane,but... i even voicemail her yesterday.too bad...no reply.the problem with my fren here is,When i busy,i didnt msg them,they ask me "What happen to u yati??,senyap je? bz nah ke??kite busy-busy pun msg ko jugak.ada time nie aku msg lah." but when it cums to my turn when im free and i msg them.... they will not reply or say they very busy!what is this??? i noe im like the one who ask u all out everytime but why shud i when u ll didnt??? must i be the one who organise all this?at least i remember u all,n even i got time to ask u all out.just spent one day,2 hours or what just to go out for dinner or lunch u all still cant huh?? this are my frens.....
one more is that,i want u to find me, not me who find u all.y must it be always me??i understand u all n mybe my werd here sumtime are too sarcastic.u people dunt have to understand me.im fine with it! nobody can understand each other i can bet u that! even parents,siblings,husband and wife dont! nevermind!!! lets just keep quiet and keep my mouth shut! Diam lagik baik!! i cant be bothered anymore now!! lets start a new life...monday is going to be challenge for me! i will be a gud person! i try!! gudbye!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:20 AM
me 
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:24 AM
Sweet
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:13 AM
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Hie!!it midnight now,isnt it great to be alone,watching the moon n the stars at the beach admiring gods Creations!its been a great day for me so far today.im using every single seconds n minutes in my life with useful thoughts n things done.now listening to Scan a band from Malaysia song,"disana mawar,disini penawar"... the luv it.
oh yar,i read my fren blog just now,n came across a name that i noe well,she had a blog n to my expecttion,im so surprise to know it..i tot she didnt coz she didnt told me that.As usual,She is sumone who like to keep sumthing to herself.Seldom show n share her problem with me like i did b4.Thats ok, i dont mind at all,perhaps i just came across it n tend to read it.she did wrote about me too...n i was quite sad to know she said my blog is "scattered" all over.Yes, i noe,but it depends on each person,how they type n create their blogs,just like mine.As long as i can read,im happy enuff.Dont hve to decorate well.im not and artist either,n she hope that i will be happy today,tomorow n forever.. n i noe that my blog i 70% bout the guy who i like b4..yes,i know.this is my blog,my life stories.no one can interupt it.Now,i know sumthing,no full names will be mention now.only some that i feel like typing,i'll type.
and.....there he is,message me to ask me to called him.at this hour,at this time where i got no mood to talk anymore...sorry my fren,i cant.i just dont feel like talking to you..im sorry!
n there, fren of mine who i noe from "khai"..message me asking how am i now.thanks sis,but i want to be alone now..So sorry.. btw my fren whose blog i had read,hope u are happy with the course u took now in ite.u'll be a nurse in future to come.all the best to you!
30th june,will be my last day at Toa payoh polar.Thanks to my Supervisor Cynthia for all the hard work u put on to me.im really happy to know sum1 like u in my career wise.u give me lot of ides,knowledge n thinking thats makes me really think bout my future.
u're my inspiration!!! u are one of those leaders out there who give me hope to carry on with life.I think i found my future soon...,im gona be 21 n i hope this job will be a suitable career for me for years to come b4 i step to higher positions next time..now, what i want i get! i will be stepping to the world that i had really keen interest in that is Coffee world.With the basic pay that they give me,i deserve it although its just a full time job i've been wandering and looking for.Its been a year i waste my time just like that,its the age of 20! im really stuck,sumtime i hate being 20! im like a stupid fool lady u c! disappointed,stress,give up,feeling down,sucks!!tht wht i go thru all this while!.... n 21 yrs old is a step for me to be a matured lady.i learn from mistakes,all the environment i had werk for,i learn many things n i learn how to manage with time,n handle with people..thanks Coffee Club Express for giving me the chance again.i missed the chance once n i noe i wont missed u again so easily like that!chances only come once, so grab it tight b4 it runaway out of ur sight!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:31 PM
HIKMAH DIAM
1.Sebagai ibadah tanpa bersusah payah.
2.Perhiasan tanpa berhias.
3.Kehebatan tanpa kerajaan.
4.Benteng tanpa pagar.
5.Kekayaan tanpa meminta maaf kepada orang.
6.Istirehat bagi kedua malaikat pencatat amal.
7.Menutupi segala aib.
*"Barangsiapa yang banyak perkataanya,nescaya banyaklah silapnya.
barangsiapa yang banyak silapnya nescaya banyaklah dosanya.dan barangsiapa yang banyak dosanya maka mereka lebih utama baginya".(RW ABU NAIM)
*Menasihati orang yang bersalah tidak salah,yang salah memikirkan kesalahan orang itu.
*Kalau orang menghina kita bukan kita terhina,yang sebenarnya orang itu menghina dirinya sendiri.
*Manusia tidak akan dapat mengalahkan syaitan kecuali dengan diam.Jalan yang terbaik ialah diam kalau kita tidak dapat bercakap ke arah perkara-perkara yang baik.Bicara yang baik adalah lambang hati yang baik dan bersih yang bergantung kepada kekuatan iman pada diri manusia.
Akhirkata...Diam adalah benteng bagi lidah manusia daripada mengucapkan perkataan yang sia-sia.
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:36 AM
Friday, June 24, 2005
Di sebalik Kalimah istilah cinta..
Ada dua titis air mata mengalir di sebuah sungai.Satu titis air mata itu menyapa air mata yang satu lagi,"Saya airmata seorang gadis yang menyayangi seorang lelaki tetapi telah kehilangannya.Siapakah kamu pula?" Jawab titis airmata kedua itu,"Saya airmata seorang lelaki yang menyesal membiarkan seorang gadis yang menyayangi saya berlalu begitu sahaja."
UlasaN:Tiada sesiapa pun yang simpati kepada orang yang sengaja membiarkan peluang pergi begitu sahaja tanpa berusaha untuk mendapatkannya.Kita selalunya tidak menghargai seorg yang hampir atau menyayangi kita sehingga dia pergi meninggalkan kita Kemudian kita akan berasa sedih dan menyesal mengingatkannya.
Terdapat banyak bintang di langit tetapi hanyaa satu saja yang begitu menyerlah sehingga dapat menarik perhatian kamu.Dari kalangan yang kamu pilih untuk diabaikan,ialah sebutir bintang yang sanggup menyinari kamu di mana sahaja kamu berada.
UlaSan:Orang yang bersama kamu ketika ini mungkin bukanlah orang yang benar-benar kamu sayangi namun terdapat orang yang tahu dia tidak dapat bersama kamu ketika ini tapi masih menyayangi kamu sepenuh hatinya,fikirkanlah...
Jika seorg hadir dlm hidup kamu dan menjadi sebahagian daripada kamu,
tetapi atas sebab tertentu dia terpaksa pergi,jangan terlalu sedih,Sekurang-kurangnya dia pernah membahagiakan kamu.
Ulasan:Masa akan menentukan segalanya,jika dia ditakdirkan bersama kamu dia pasti akan kembali.
Cinta itu membuatkan kamu gembira walaupun ia sering melukakan. Cinta itu istimewa jika ia diberikan kepada orang yang bertuah.
UlasaaN: Jika kamu bertemu dengan seseorg yang benar-benar menghargai kamu,maka dia berhak mendapat kasih kamu.
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:02 PM
N today.....i shall told u im really pissed off n disappointed!! U NOE WHY? BECOS,that mui leng polar manager wanna shortened my working hours now! What the fuck is she trying to show me now?after i help her work for 15 hours n now,tis is the shit she give me! Cynthia msg me n im so angry when she said go find another job! whats all this????? POLAR PUFF N CAKES...Tak lama lagik bankrupt lah korg...dah nasib aku mcm nie,allah bagi,ape aku boleh buatkan??Redha jelah,,terima je. i Really dunno what else i can do...in order to save myself from tis job.EMPTY proMises,i hate it man! aku rasa,memang nie polar untuk auntie-auntie,nyonya-nyonya n makcik makcik tua jer!! untuk anak muda mcm aku nie tk layak pun!!! i really give up..n now i noe,theres more job out there waiting for me! with my cert n experience im sure..i'll succeed one day...30th june is my last day n thanks to polar 4 cheating on me!!no more regrets yati! this really teach me not to trust people again here.y must people cheat on me?? i really dont know what else to do...next time,i wont sacrifice for people anymore. useless,what i get?? i get nothing at all but im sure god bless me!!!
Just now i go job hunting again...hmm,hopefully i get! i went to town,look around,i saw "mango" having 50% off sales.manusia mcm semut...ramai sekali! tk pernah nampak barang jual murah kot??? nauzubillah,singaporens??typical sg! So much money eh??hahaha! oh plz..i tot of buying this sleveless shirt for just $9 dolar but when i c the crowd..haha,forget it i put back! panas pulak tuh....orang tua,orang muda berebut2 memilih dan berkeroyok mcm dah takde lagi dlm dunia nie barang2 tuh...,long queue mcm caterpillar! bertolak2...korg cube imagine...kiamat menimpa,dorg lari mcm ner??hahaha.... ya Allah!
Through my life as a 20 years old gal..many things happen to me,i Really learn many thing n gain more experience now.When i reach 21 next month... im more matured enuff to think...to learn n to be more careful next time in the future! my wish,when i turn 21....i will be happier,get the job i interest in,n dont be a fool anymore..haha! yes! i learn from mistakes ..tru tis,i'll be a better person in the future! insyallah!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:09 AM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
1 month two days...
so fast the time flies...
turning 21....
what shud i do??
hmmm.....still thinking n thinking!
to be a better person....
how???
im werking on it...
n i noe,i'll success
one day with the patient in me..
from the help from god...
with my willingness n effort...
i noe i wil...
ape nie aku merepek???yati oh yati....besok OFF!! yahoo!
gerek ar mcm nie,nk go find werk plak..but thinking of having a one month relex + holiday..since im getting 1 step older,im gona enjoy my life to the fullest!! weehheee.... ina,mar,las n firah...i miz u!!
life is more better without him in my life..im happy n congrats yati,u succeed in forgetting him!
Allah Swt berfirman: (kepada mereka dikatakan): "makan dan minumlah dengan sedap disebabkan amal yang telah kamu kerjakan pada hari-hari yang telah lalu" (Al-Haaqqah:24)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:44 PM
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
i just came back from werk after a day there.Werk with Cynthia my Supervisor..Oh yar,besok i werk 12-10..heheh! theres a staff from bishan werking at my outlet for a day,lucky me.
Balik je,bising!arrgghh....bosan tul ar!! binget siak!ape lagi nie? tk abes2 nak bising!aku tgh takde mood tau!Dahlah si Faizal nie msg aku je suruh tepon....aku penat ar Faizal oi,takde masa nk bual lagik. aku malaz ko tau tak??bebual pun apa ada??nk bual apa?? i dun like talking on the phone..haiz!! dulu2 bolehlah bebual..now no!! it will be a waste of my time again mcm dulu!i noe we r frens n u really want to talk to me,but theres nuting to tALK my dear fren... haizz...im sorry!next time mybe..
my frens....where r u all??life i so different from last time 1 year ago..frens a lot but all gone dunno where.what happen to irena?Nisa? Mar?Las?Azza?Erna? semua hilang mcm tuh aje??Time susah ingat aku... time senang? im nobody!alah,biarlah,wats the use anyway,mati pun Sorg pe,ape nk peduli pasal orang lain!diri sendiri tk terjaga nk jaga orang eh yati?? hentikan!!!!!lebih baik berdiam diri dari menjaga hal orang lain..takde gunenyer.tk mendatangkan faedah langsung.....
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:16 PM
a fren told me tis..."Step up from your current platform not from somewhere else. Stop cursing, it is only effective when you put it on yourself. And self pity is a killer for your own success.You want to study! What's the point! Have you not see the real world! In my point of view it is not necessary. "Attitude" is the key to success. And you can acquire it. But I think life is fair. You should rejoice than to contain in misery. Dont you think misery is mistery?"
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:00 PM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Tis month is Khairunnisa birthday i remember..ShaRul's niece n she's one years old now..So fast eh...hmm!She is so Cute baby! Sharul sister baby!I've been thinking of him now..entah ape jadi dgn dier..
tapi...ade ke dier ingat aku?entah plak..maybe yes or no..im his fren for 4 yrs already n there's too many memories,just that we r not fated to be together n hes not fated for me too..Luv is totally blind! n i am blinded by luv of him..
Cynthia my supervisor says,"u have to learn to let go..then if he is yours one day he is yours.. if u are fated to be his then u have no choice..make more frens n give other guys a chance to noe u better.Dun ever compare all guys are the same.They are different in many ways that we do not know..." she's right!!! hehe..i learn sumthing from her too...my dearest Supervisor!hahah...every where i werk.i have my own mentor n idol! in school also i did have last time.Tis i life..lumrah kehidupan di alam ini.Alhamdulilah...aku hapi dgn hidup aku sekrg..just that im so buzy with my werk.. need some space for my family members,n i tot if ade rezeki nanti,i want to go to Umrah next year.Belum sampai seru lagik...insyallah.. im still learning! i want to visit the place where my idol were born that is nabi muhammad! no guys can win him!! semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat tuhan yang esa..amin!
IM werking 7-10 tomorrow n wednesday n i get thurs off day! lucky lah..gud 4 me also.then FriDay back to 7-10..hmmm! kalau everyweek keje mcm nie,nak dekat seribu siak aku bawak balik end of month cume penatnyer hish!Selagi aku bleh keje,aku keje aje,aku keje untuk hidup,jika tuhan itu membenarkan aku pegi ke luar negara belajar demi kebaikan aku ini,aku ingin sekali! kite perlu belajar dan perlu tahu tentang agama juga..ilmu pengetahuan lah katekan...oh yar,today 20 june,so fast eh??? terlalu cepat masa berlalu! haiz!! menanti bulan depan saje..umur aku menjangkau 21 tahun!! im matured enough to think..yes i am!! Tadi tengok cerita Atas nama cinta n surprisingly Diliya terima lamaran Fuad! best eh!! dah nasib ar tuh!
He is such a nice guy! hope to get sum1 like him who luv u so much! one more thing.."Find sumone who luv u more then u luv him,from there u were treated so much better n u feel the luv a great as ever...."
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:00 PM
Monday, June 20, 2005
The guy at that hotel is so hansem! but too bad,hes not my consultant! my consultant is the one by the name Faizal.. 22 yrs old eh?? Ramainye orang nama faizal dlm dunia nie!! iSh!! macam takde nama lain..Beli rumah kta mekah?100 mete from gerbang pintu abdul aziz..hmm! 24 yr is ours!! korang nak?duitnyer?? erm...dekat sey! i really wanted to go there but...nthalah..mcm2 halangan dan belum masanye lagi.maybe one fine day as soon as possible!
Besok i werk morning again!Lucky me! dapat tgk kekasihku! Zul..haha! penat ar,terlalu penat nie! ish..entahlah..aku nak pi market street!!
bile ar??as oon a posible can? haiz....tadi after the talk at pakview hotel me n my parents when to meet angah at causeway point for a dinner at swensens since its fathers day! hahaha... swensens lagik eh??? tak abes2 sey yati....hahaha!tomorow monday blues... alamak!! hhish...boRing ar,how to deal? my leg still pain leh! erm.... i realli got to go...sleepy!
Mutiara kata-Rasullullah s.a.w bersabda:Tidak disifatkan bersyukur kepada allah,kalau seseorg itu tidak berteima kasih kepada manusia yang berbudi kepadanya."
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:00 PM
2 Days i never update my blog..too tired n too busy to Type.i've Been tired working from 7-10 full shift since yesterday.Damn tired!and finally its my off day after 12 days of werking non stop!
leg pain sumore...but still have the cheek to go to JB yeterday to buy magzines n food.My brother Azman follow me.JammeD!! ish...ramai sangat orang.yang penting aku dpt beli apa yang aku nak!!
Today i father's day..Happy father's day Dad!! theres ceramah dekat hotel merlin next to starhub cuppage centre there...CEramah Haji dan umrah for family.Lucky my dad can go then he went off to werk i guess so.hmmm,just go,mane tau kite dapat menunaikannya satu hari kelak.Nasib SEseorang belum tahu lagi...i really wanted to go there.
Skrg nie masa terlalu singkat.terlalu cepat lah..kalau sekolah,
konfem sekejap je da abes eh??Dulu,lama sekali nak tunggu! beruntung Budak2 sekrg..smlm time balik keje aku ternampak irena dengan kwn keje india dier dua orang.hish...tak sangka aku dier bermekap..lawa plak tuh!ayu sekali...Dierkan fair n chinese look..mcm aku nie??
ape ada??yang penting aku bersyukur dengan apa yang telah allah kurniakan padaku..SEderhana saja.Aku tk tegur irena pun...bukan tanak tapi she's talking to her fren...she took train from sembawang too..n tomorow,she start skul..the cos i apply but i didnt get in!! haiz...too bad.i noe the NURSE course is never mend for me..NOw im werking,werking life is much fun,we werk,we earn money,FNB line is for me..aku sebati dengan Fnb,to my surprise i can sell thing well!
im trying to bring up the sale too...hehehe! kata YATI!! oklah... my phrase for today is..
Dari Abu Mas'ud Al-Ansari r.a dari nabi muhammad s.a.w sabdanya:
'Sesungguhnya orang islam itu,apabila ia memberi nafkah dengan sesuatu kepada keluarganya,sedang ia memberikannya dengan tujuan mematuhi perintah Allah dan mengharapkan pahalanya,nescaya pemberiannya itu menjadi sedekah(yang berpahala) baginya..."
(hadith sahih-Riwayat Bukhari dan muslim)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:55 AM
Sunday, June 19, 2005
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:59 PM
Friday, June 17, 2005
Aku masih meghitung hari 38 hari lagi aku akan mencapai 21 tahun..
baru saja aku menitiskn airmat bila mendengar syarahan dari TV1 tentang pengorbanan ayah.Aku juga Terasa.Aku tahu aku telah buat salah juga pada ayah.Minta maaf ayah,Yati banyak buat dosa kat ayah..
Walaupun adik tidk menunjukkan rasa sayang yang mendalam kepada ayah...adik tetap menyayangi ayah dan berterima kasih atas pengorbanan ayah membesarkan adik dan yang lain2..Tanpa ayah,tanpa ku.Ayah bersusah payah bekerja untuk membesarkan adik...insyallah, adik akan menjadi seorang anak yang berguna di masa akan datang ya ayah??
Aku rasa,aku memang mengikut rentak ayah.Asyik keje saje..gelisah kalau tk keje.sebab,mungkin semasa mak melahirkan aku...ayah hilang kerja dan balik kampung,susah kejap keluarga kita dan bila aku da besar,aku boleh rasa hidup susah tanpa duit.Dai situ,aku ikut ayah. Bekerja,dan mencari rezeki dengn titik peluh kita sendiri. tak perlu dan tk mahu orang tolong.biar kita susah..tapi jangan melibatkan orang lain pon..melainkan abang2 aku pulak... yang pertama tuh,hidup sendiri duit simpan sendiri..tak tahu bagi mak dan ayah.Pada aku,Dengan memberikan kepada mak dan ayah sedikit cuma pun,hidup kita akan diberkati...Dan aku tak lokek.Yang angah pulak...mewah, tk tahu berusaha..problem,masalah terus! tk pernah buat mak dan ayah senang..entahlah...lain orang lain ragam!aku tahu aku lain dari dorang berdua.Aku tk suka menyusahkan dan menyakiti hati mak dan ayah.aku sanjung mereka...cinta mereka berdua begitu indah.. takde siapa dapat memisahkan mereka berdua,aku??? Cinta yang aku cari tak dapat aku penuhi..mcm mereka...mum n dad,i luv u both!!
Yang nyata...Aku memang setia pada cinta pertama ku..cuma antara aku dgn dia memang tiada jodoh! kite tetap kawan...walau mcm ner pun Sharul... i still cherish our frenship..cuma,ini bukan masanya untuk aku melayan kau.Mungkin apa yang nisa kata itu benar,dia perlukan aku sebagai teman untuk bergantung...perlukan aku mendengar cerita kisah hidupnya bersama kekasih hatinya yang aku tak rela mendengar akibat sakit hati dan cemburu....aku Cintakan kau Sharul!! Sayang yang tak dpt luput dlm ingatan ini.hanya kau satu-satunya insan yang membuka hati aku menerima cinta sebenar..cuma,kau telah salah gunakannya...aku pula telah terjerumus jauh menyintai insan yang sepatutnya hanya boleh digelar sahabat!!! Kau,mempergunakan aku demi kepentingan kau!! aku menjadi alat pada nafsu hati kau! sayangnya hubungan kita ini berderai begitu saja.. sebagai teman,aku tak mahu juga kehilangan kau sharul..perkenalan selama 4 tahun lamanya terlalu indah..aku bahagia disamping kau walaupun hanya sementara.
Jika satu hari..kita ditemukan semula..Kau Sharul,akan kenal erti rindu yang sebenarnya..Aku pasti!Biarlah aku belayar dahulu mengejar impian aku menjadi insan yang berguna di masa kelak.. kita pasti akan bertemu dan aku pasti akan mencari kau dan kau mencari aku! hati kite tetap memerlukan masing2! Kau pun tahu yang aku tak membalas mesej kau.kau pasti ingat aku marah...biarlah aku berdiam diri..diam saja mengikut arah jalan sebenar.aku hari2 mendoakan kau bahagia dan berjaya serta kau kembali ke pangkal jalan! Aku berani mengatakan,kaulah saja insan yng berani menyelam dan menerokai hati aku ini! hanya kau!!! Kau da lama aku maafkan...cuma berikan aku masa untuk membawa diri ke dunia lain.Segala kenangan tinggal memori dalam hati..dan aku percaya sekali kau maseh mengingati aku sekrg,tika dan saat ini! sEandainya tuhan itu mahu menyatukan kita.... kita tetap akan bersatu,tak siapa tahu apa akan jadi esok,lusa,akan datang..mungkin kaulah lelaki yang terakhir aku serahkan dan korbankan segalanya... yang pasti,We will still remember each other no matter wat happens!! tis month,Nur khairunnisa bdae yg 1st! She is sharul's niece! not Sure of the date..arhgghh..lupe ar..takpe!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:35 PM
Aku mencari hidayah sekarang ini...
untuk kembali ke asal..
ku tempuhi segala kekuatan,
kepayahan dan kesedihan..
aku perlukan pelindung setia..
hanya tuhan yang layak
menjadi pelindung di kamar hatiku ini..
Alangkah baiknya jika dia masih bersamaku menempuh hidup yang penuh dgn onak duri ini.Walaupun telah disakiti...kau takkan aku lupakan ke akhir hayatku..cintaku kekal abadi dlm hati buat selamanya.. segalanya telah ku ampunkan...telah aku lupakan dan tak mungkin berulang dlm sejarah hidupku...semana dalam jahatmu,kau tetap yg aku cinta pertama dAn yang teraKHIR...nasib saja yang tak menyebelahi kita untuk bersama..aku akur dan aku redha...! cinta hati ku..akan ku abadikan selamanya... akan ku carimu satu hari nanti sayang...amin!!
Bdae my Dear best Fren in ite balestier.. Mahmud @ 21.
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:26 AM
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Hidup nie betul banyak cabaran...aargghh..! mane aku nak carik duit tuh??wt e hell!hopefully i can pay bit by bit...dugaan lagik satu menimpa aku hari ini...haiz! hidup2,tk pernah lekang dik masalah! tk pernah bleh hidup tanpa masalah...inilah kehidupan.pening memikirkannya! takpelah,duit boleh dicari..ayah tahu mampuz aku! kene sumpah seranahlah aku hehehe!besok 7-5..penat ar keje tapi pe bleh buat,kerana duitnyer pasal..aku rela! haiz....kalaulah aku dpt terbang bebas dari masalah...aku pasti akan! tapi itu hanya hayalan belaka...erm..tahlah..tak tahu!
i need to rest... i want to go market street n werk so sunday off... but....dunno! i gtg,my eyess cant take it anymore! selamatkan aku tuhan!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:37 PM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Tak lama lagi..badan aku mesti susut.Ape tidak,hari2 keje aje.Aku tk cukup rehat pun...Terlalu penat sampai takde masa nak rehat,nk mkn,nk tolong mak tapi tulis blog nie,mesti!!its a must for me!haha...Entah lah,cerita aku mesti diupdate kat sini.Kawan2 aku pun bz giler,semua aku tak msg pun..tk kuasa.haha! malaz ar!!haiz... tadi Nisa chat dgn aku kejap je..ape jadi dgn aZZa??hehehe,senyap jer..
Eh! tadi supervisor kol aku,1st july nanti aku full time dah.Mui leng,area manager pun dah tulis form aku. Alhamdulilah...
jadilah kan...For the time being just werk first! mybe next time i get wat i want!like i said,i need the money to help my parents n even myself!i wanna study back...hmmm.....y not ryte?? besok,7-10 lah! 15 hours of werking.takpelah kay..i got no choice but to werk...
well,i noe by end of the month i get enuff money to support myself! next month..my birthday...Duit ada! bleh ajak family aku makan...hehe!oklah....i wanna watch tv! wish me gud luck 4 tomorow!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:41 PM
Orang bilang,Hidup dimulai di hari ini,
waktu kita bangun dari pagi..
Bukan juga Kelmarin,Bukan juga besok,
tapi gua percaya hari ini bukan saja
Dimulai dengan kita membuka mata tadi pagi..
hari ini dimulain jauh dari situ,
waktu tak bisa diulang..
-"mengejar matahari"-
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:11 AM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
How i wish i had gud N best fren in my entire life..turning 21 is reAlly different thought to me.y must i met a Fren who is nice but just for a while??my ite frens?? to me..among all the frens i had,ite frens i the best,we communicte more n we r closed.Although we noe each other just for a sHORT while,but im happy but...y must happiness between us never last?Same like sum frens who i had like N***,she also came into my life just for a while only.She n her Bf,as usual! nevermindlah... hmmm........if only i cud arrange my life again,i will arrange it with full of fun,Colours,spaces, flowers,n all the nice things..but too bad,life is never perfect n we cant have life without any problems!WE CANNOT RUN AWAY FROM ALL TIS!i wish,1 day theres sumone out there who cud take gud care of me...like the drama... "ATAS NAMA CINTA",FUAD!where to find gud guys now??all are either married,Dead or gay..hahha!hopefully...
I cRy,Watching this Drama from TV1 "Jalil,ju cantik.." ahakz!! wat a sad story.this i my first time Crying non stop watching a Drama.im really sad...sanggupkah kau memukul abangmu sendiri hanya kerana dier tu lembut..??tapi dier sanggup berkorban apa je demi adik2 nyer...Abang??terlalu banyak pengorbanan abangnyer terhadap adik2 nya..adakah abangku yng berdua ini mcm tuh juga??tak..tak mungkin!!
Sekarang nie,SEdangkn aku adik perempuannyer tak dijenguk langsung,inikan dier nak bantu aku dlm kesusahan??arrgghh.....
begitu besarnya pengorbanan seorg abang kepada adiknyer dlm drama itu!haiz...tak mungkin!!!!! tk mengapa...ape pun jua,aku tetap sayangkn abang2 aku walaupun kasih sayang yang mereka beri sikit sekali...wat else i can do to be close to them???sad... haiz!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:50 PM
"Memori kehidupan?"interesting right?hmmm.......life is only for a short while,lets treasure it.Whats past is past.There's people out there who suffer worse than me.Now,Everytime when i feel down or Sad,I'LL think of people who also have more problems than me.then,i cheer up,happy n smile.There sumone whose watching me,'Tuhan'.Dia sentiasa melihat dan mengekori setiap gerak geri aku.Dia sentiasa ada disamping aku.Aku relakan apa yang terjadi pada diri aku ini.Esok? apa yang akan berlaku?belum tahu lagi...semunya sudah tertulis.Hanya tuhan yang tahu.Aku hanya perlu menanti hari-hari yang mendatang keesokan hari dan waktu..
Setelah aku hilang 'Dia' yng aku amat cinta dan perlukan...aku hilang akal,hilang harga diri,semuanya kerana dia.Namun,maruah aku tetap terpelihara.pada diri aku,aku anggap ini semua sudah hilang.. Aku sudah lama bebas dari kecelakaan dari terus hidup dengan insan yang tidak berperikemanusiaan dan tidak bertanggungjawab.Aku bosan dan aku curiga dengan semua ini.Malah aku pernah menangis dan menjadi insan yang amat 'Terbodoh' di dunia...kesal tiada sudahnya, tiada jalan pulang..tak mungkin aku berpatah kembali pada insan yg menghilangkan kepercayaanku pada "lelaki"...DIA terlalu payah untuk aku lupakan tapi Aku tahu,setiap yang terjadi ada hikmahnya.
Seperti yang aku jangkakan sejak dulu lagi Dia pasti akan mencari-cari aku...Mencari kehilangan aku dan mencari kemananya aku pergi...Dn benar,hari ini-13 JUne 05,Dia Mencari aku,apa mimpinya ya tuhanku?<<"hi...How r u?">> adakah dia bahagia dengan temanya???Cinta hatinya?teman kesayangannya???
hmmm.............aku tiada lagi dalam hidupnya,aku akan hilang dari pandangan kau,aku ingin lihat,25 july ini,kau ingatkah aku??kita tunggu saja,yang pasti...dia akan tetap mencari aku....dan akan terus mencari..dan mungkin,Detik kesal...perasaan yang menyuit hati dan kekusutan pikirannya akan terus menyelubungi dirinya setiap saat,detik dan waktu...!! Ya...aku yakin kau pasti akan terus memburu aku! tetapi.....im not gona be like last time,im Strong now,i promise one day,i'll show u my success in life.As a lady who dun deServe to be urs,im just proud....Proud to be who i am...Yati!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:02 AM
Monday, June 13, 2005
"mengejar matahari??"--itulah nama/tajuk Cerita indonesia yang aku tonton tadi Petang.Bagus sekali cerita itu.penuh dengan makna dan mesej yang amat penting dan bermakna..haiz.i wander i cud be one of them in tat movie but of cos the 4 gud best fren.hansem2 lagik dorg tuh..i like!haha boleh engak aku merantau mencari mat indon untuk dijadikan pacarku???? weeehhee....pasti boleh,waduh! ongkosnya untuk ke indon kena ada...hehe!
ei.....nowadays i like to watch Crita indonesia.past few day i watch virgin,n then Di sekolah ada hantu,n today i watch mencari matahari.. this movie is acted by winky wiryawan,Udjo,Fauzi Baadilla n Fedi NuRil.. ish!i wana ask u,sanggupkah kau berkorban demi kawan sendiri? sanggupkah kau mati kerana kawan?sanggupkah kau masuk penjara kerana kawan?? haiz..... hanya segelintir yang sanggup..mana mau dicari?tak uahlah yati,kau takkan ketemu orang mcm tuh...yg menyusahkan dan yang tak mengenang budi ramai sekali. ya tuhan,aku sederhana saja hari ini,cuma tak sebaik yang kau inginkan..
aku rindu saat2 aku kecil..bisa aku patah arah semula?tak bisa...yang jelas,aku tetap insan biasa...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:53 PM
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Im not in good mood today..Tired,feeling of pain,emptiness,restless,
Frustrated and angry too.im Griming..i also Grieve n grief!i dont know why i suddenly felt tis way since morning...Now,only 4 people online.Saturday nyte!!! wt else ryte?to me,everyday is the same,no difference except for Friday.My favourite day..im alone now,listening to the song Breakaway from Kelly Clarkson,1 of the american idol b4...
"Ill spread my wings and Ill learn how to fly
Ill do what it takes til' I touch the sky
Ill make a wish, Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I wont forget all the ones that I love
Ill take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway"
Part of the Song of "BREAKAWAY"...isnt it meaningful?hmm... how about tis??From 'Since u been gone...'
"How come I'd never hear you say,I just wanna be with you,I guess you never felt that way"
Hmm.....tis is fated..Facts of life!Aku redha!kadang2 ia bukan takdir,ia adelah kehendak diri kita sendiri..n yesh! i did do all tis all becos of my own decision...but i dont regret becos its a life time experience..in my case,im just lucky tat after all this thing happens,i look up n realised im wrong! god also fated it tis way...
i noe he is now Smiling with tat gerl...u look so happy while the person here is in pain..do u care???wud u? u never!!! Dont ever dream u will...nevermind,its ok.Yati oh yati...knape mesti ada benci?
knape mesti ade dier dlm mimpi dan ingatan kau?all tis becos,u cant forget it but u getting over it..yesh i am!luv.....where it can bring u to?no where..... i've done so many wrong thing n sins..im Sorry god!
im tinking of finding a new job...polar??? im
so disappointed with u....shud i carry on with my plan??earlier next year 2006 or 2007? i have no idea..but what about my mum n dad? mum im gona worry bout u..i wanna bring her along but grandma n auntie busu live with us..my 2nd brother?how??? cant live him alone man!! i need to follow on with my interest coz i need to..if i start earlier the better,by end of 2007 im gona graduate n be a successful lady with the cert i can be proud with..shud i proceed?too many thing stuck in my head..money not enuff,bside that my family,n also myself.. can i adapt there?im sure i can...just that if i went there,i have to be careful with the people there!mane tau aku jumpe Zul??? hish.....akan aku tegur dier...akan ku ikut dier..! ewah! i wanna get sum1 who have that character in that Drama "Atas nama cinta"..i love it! make me getting crazy about Zul! but.... im crazy thinking of my carreer...now n then,my job,my family n life! frens??? i dunno...not all are with me when im in need... i lose sum of them,so bad ryte? trusted person??hes definitely gone... he can go to hell..hahah! well,polar...im so disapointed with u!!! i wont ask for full time again kay?coz..... aku nekad nak teruskan carik keje baru.,,cukup duit aje,c how to reach my dreams as a career women in the interest i want! hmmm...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:46 PM
Saturday, June 11, 2005
"We Belong Together"-Mariah Carey
I didnt mean it
When I said I didnt love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should have let you go
I didnt know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldnt have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined Id be
Sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didnt know you
'Cause I didnt know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that Im feeling
Now that I dont
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I dont have a choice
Oh, what I wouldnt give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby
[Chorus:]
When you left
I lost a part of me
Its still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Whos gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There aint nobody better
We belong together
I cant sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womacks on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And its breaking my heart
Im trying to keep it together
But Im falling apart
Im feeling all out of my element
Im throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Aint even half of what
Im feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby
[Chorus]
[Repeat chorus]
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Whos gonna take your place
There aint nobody better
We belong together
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:58 PM
"Don't Phunk With My Heart"-BEP
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
(Yeah)
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
Girl, you know you got me, got me
With your pistol shot me, shot me
And I'm here helplessly
In love and nothing can stop me
You can't stop me cause once I start it
Can't return me cause once you bought it
I'm coming baby, don’t got it (don’t make me wait)
So let’s be about it
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
Baby, have some trustin', trustin'
When I come in lustin', lustin'
Cause I bring you that comfort
I ain’t only here cause I want ya body
I want your mind too
Interestin’s what I find you
And I'm interested in the long haul
Come on girl (yee-haw)
(come on)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
Girl, you had me, once you kissed me
My love for you is not iffy
I always want you with me
I'll play Bobby and you’ll play Whitney
If you smoke, I'll smoke too
That’s how much I'm in love with you
Crazy is what crazy do
Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
Why are you so insecure
When you got passion and love her
You always claimin’ I'm a cheater
Think I'd up and go leave ya
For another señorita
You forgot that I need ya
You must’ve caught amnesia
That’s why you don’t believe
(uh, yeah, check it out)
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Baby girl, you make me feel
You know you make me feel so real
I love you more than sex appeal
(Cause you’re)
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [5x]
[overlapping]
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart [2x]
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [2x]
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) [4x]
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:43 PM
Friday, June 10, 2005
ItS Friday!!there Weekends came again! So fast man...to me,weekend or wat is still the same,not a nice week anyway,n today is 10 of june!really fast n soon half of the year is gona be gone just like that..to me,its nothing.Now im still werking in Polar at Tpy.Hmm... im getting my off day next sunday,so long man! Have to wait for nx week Friday then its gona be nearer...i feel so tired too.. due to my aiming of collecting money to study overeas i still werk hard,but i noe it is not useful at all..i just go with the flow.im busy nowadys but i still have time to enjoy myself.tru ti way,i will slowly get over everything that had happen to me in the past.. but will never FORGET!
im gona reach 21 soon n its gona be a best n taf moment in life.i Experience so many things in life n i learn from it.im not a small kid anymore,im a young lady.i've learn that 'love' cant bring u to anywhere..the only true love i love to god n rasul..next is my mum and dad n of course myself!Terima kasih tuhanku..kerana menyedarkan aku dari angan-angan kosong selama ini.kau banyak sekali menguji aku. aku redha dan bersyukur dengan nikmatmu..Amin!!
in the future...many thing going to happen 2 me.im by myself now, no one will help me beside god.thanks everyone for being my fren although its just for a while n a short moment.aku takkan menyusahkan hidup sesiapa lagi.biarlah aku yang bersusah payah sendiri untuk hidup mencari arah tujuan aku yang sebenar dalam hidup.
Aku nak pegi keje,masuk pukul 2-10 hari ini.besok 7-6pm.. hui! best eh?? lagi 20 hari dapat gaji! hehe! i tink tis month i get 700+,Jadilah untuk simpan,buat belanja,bil dan duit makan dan beli barang2 aku..tak lupa kasi mak..hmm! fathers day on the 19th of june,wat to buy? maybe just blanja makan ar..hahah! im werking with auntie Betty,lucky her! a nice auntie too...i did missed auntie Michelle from CBTL... ok blog later,Gud bye!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:20 AM
Semalam,bdk Brunei tu msg aku,minta maaf..Sebagai manusia aku tidak pernah menyimpan dendam pada sesiapa.Walaupun orang itu menyakiti hatiku ini,aku tetap sabar dan memaafkannya.Apa gunanya kita berdendam,bergaduh dan bermusuh? tentu sekali Allah murka dengan kita..hmm,cuma orang saja yang tak suka pada aku.Pendirian dan kehidupan aku.tidak mengapa,kerana aku ada Allah yang memahami diriku ini.Sudah hampir Sebulan S***** senyapkan diri selepas berterus terang dengan aku.Terima kasih! aku tahu,sekrg kaulah insan yang paling bahagia di saat ini.kau lalai segala tanggungjawabmu itu. kau lepas Dari tangan aku tapi kau tak akan lepas dari tuntutan Tuhan diakhirat! Sabar menanti ya..hidupku hancur dengan manusia yang mementingkan kebendaan,rupa macam kau! Namun tetap aku maafkan kau,cuma aku harap kau akan sedar hidup ini sementara... perjalanan kita makin singkat ke akhirat.Dunia kian luput!! Ya allah,aku mohon padamu,kau berikanlah kesedaran yang setimpal pada S*****!! biar dia rasa apa yang aku rasa selama ini...dia bersuka ria sedangkan aku kegelisahan,kesedihan menangis sepanjang jalan!
Hari ini,aku kembali gigih meneruskan hidup,biarlah orang benci pada aku,tak suka aku tapi aku tetap dengan hidupku ini..tetap akan ku pertahankan hidupku ini dan maruahku ini! bila ku pikir kembali..Adakah aku ini masih perawan?? hmmm........dlm benak pikiran aku,aku masih!!
im Werking 1-10 today,have to come early becos Cynthia ask me too.. well! lucky coz i get extra money too..yesterday i watch the movie "VIrgin".an indonesia VCd n its great! gals,its gud if u watch it...its bout 3 school best fren..1 of them have sex in order to get money!she lives in a kampong house..while the other two are rich but not happy with life.Biyan father had sex with other woman n her mother cant do anything to stop...if not they quarrel.imagine your father have sex with other women in front of u!! wt the hell!i fuck that women upside down man! hahha...just watch that indo movie n u noe!!
P/S:My cousin Kaklong birthday...37 yrs old!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:44 AM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Hilang.....
aku kini menghilang
mahu ikut melangkah kaki ini
mencari arah kejalan yang telah lama
jauh ku tinggalkan..
Aku hilang arah tujuan,
aku hilang keseronokan,
aku hilang kegembiraan,
aku hilang kebahagiaan
Lantas,Setelah lama aku Terjaga
Dan tersentak oleh lamunanku
yang tergapai di tengah jalan
terbangun dari Tidurku
yang penuh dengan khayalan semata-mata.
Aku kemudian belajar mengenal erti
perjalanan kehidupan dari pengalaman yang menimpa diri..
Aku hilang segala-galanya..
hilang insan yang aku teramat perlukan..
Setelah hati ini rapuh,
aku yang kini gelisah dan resah
hanya mampu menanti hari esok
yang mendatang yang harus ku hadapi
dengan izin tuhan...
aku lalu hilang Dia,
aku hilang kasih,
aku hilang Sayang,
aku hilang Cinta,
Aku hilang rindu
Aku hilang sentuhan
aku hilang belaian
aku hilang insan itu...
Kerana dia,aku hilang Kepercayaan
aku hilang harapan,
aku hilang dakapan,
aku hilang tempat mengadu
Setelah hidupku dihancurkan oleh kerana
satu saja iaitu Kenikmatan keegoan manusia
aku kian kalah dalam perjalananku
Dan kini aku telah bangkit Dari
meneruskan perjuangan ku kemedan seterusnya..
aku insan biasa..
tapi aku Sering dicaci,dihina,dibenci,dimusuhi
aku tidak pernah dihargai,dihormati,disayangi,
dibelai,diprihatin dan dikasihi oleh insan
yang benar-benar ikhlas menerimaku kerana diri ku...
Manusia........Ahh! Tak pernah puas!!!!
manusia juga tak akan pernah sempurna..
Tak tahu menilai baik buruknya kehidupan..
mereka hanya tahu mengutuk..
mengeji,menceritakan perihal orang!
Egonya tinggi,teratas...
tk pernah pandai menilai
pengorbanan suci seorang
wanita,Gadis atau Perempuan!!!
KIni,aku kian termangu.
mengenang nasib diriku seorng diri ini...
Aku sering mempersoalkan
Apa salahku?Apa dosaku?
apa kekuranganku?Apa bezanya aku?
Cukuplah dengan segala apa yang aku lakukan
aku tak mahu menipu diriku lagi
apa yang pasti aku hilang segalanya
yang tentunya kepercayaan ku terhadap
manusia yang bergelar "LELAKI"
sudah lama hilang luput
dari sudut kamar hatiku ini
telah kulemparkan jauh Dari pandanganku...
Aku hanya ada tuhan
yang dapat memberiku kehidupan
yang berharga didunia...
Dia telah banyak menduga,
menguji kesabaranku dan ketabahanku
dalam liku-liku hidupku seharian ini...
Syukur maseh ada tempat untuk ku mengadu
Dan menumpang kasih
Dialah yang mengajarku
erti kehidupan sebenar ini
Dia maha adil,maha kuasa,
maha besar dan maha kaya
Dn tk akan mungkin aku hilang
dia Dalam hidupku ini
Kerana dia Allah
tempat aku berlindung
dialah Tuhan semesta alam...
Yang nyata kini..
saat ini, hidup dan pelayaranku
Mesti tetap Diteruskan!!!
Rekaan Cipta KaRya - "NuR"
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:14 PM
Today,im feeling a bit better than the past two days..but me still in anger n confused...i dunno what makes people do tis to me?? kesabaran aku ada hadnya...haiz!tak mengapa...yg penting aku sudah sedar dari kesilapan..Sharul yg pertama dan Sharul yg terakhir menyakiti hati aku.. Sharul yg pertama aku sayang sedikit masa yg lalu...cukuplah dia seorang yg banyak memedihkan hati aku..jangan yg lain!
kecewa aku ini sedang dibaluti perlahan2...pelayaran aku berhenti seketika 2 hari yg lalu...kapal ku bertembung dgn kapalnya di tengah pelabuhan...aku seorg,dia berdua..hmmm, kemudian kapal aku diganggu lagi malam semalam oleh seorg 'kawan' yg aku ingat dapat menceriakanku.. ia berakhir begitu saja..kesal sungguh aku! Namun ini semua aku yakin akan berakhir kelak...pasti!! aku kuat menghadapi ombak yg menderu datang tanpa pesan...mcm tsunami..yesh! im strong.. tangisan aku semlm memberi erti bahawa teman juga sanggup menyakiti hatiku ini! tapi... cukuplah sampai saat mlm semlm... teman yg hanya tahu menyakiti hatiku lagi!takkan tk boleh kene sikit?ini setakat taip kat computer jer...da marah?? maaf kay?teruk nah ke kata2 aku??hahahaha! kelakar ar...
Berbeza pulak dgn Sharul...insan yang pernah aku cinta lebih dari aku cinta diri aku sendiri..itu Benar! sakit hati ku ini,tk pernah dia rasai..biar kan saja dia pergi...aku akan biarkan dier belayar bersama kekasih hatinya yang baru! pesanan ku... aku yakin! Kau akan cari aku kembali...tapi aku??
aku hanya serahkan segalanya pada Allah...dia akan memahamiku! cuma aku boleh katakan...Allah itu maha Adil...peerjalanan hidup aku singat.. aku harus beralih pandangan skrg, beralih kehadapan dan tak mungkin aku toleh kebelakang kembali! ya! pasti...dan mungkin bila nanti,kita akan bertemu lagi???...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:30 AM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Fuad...
i miz u my Gud fren..
i miz all ur advice..
if theres milion of people
around me like u...
im gona be happy always...
dun have to worry at all...
coz,u're the great fren...
Mahmud...
i miz u too my Best fren...
i miz ur jokes...
i miz the way u Treat me...
if there milion of people
around me who jokes like u did...
my life will always cheer up...
coz,u're the most wonderful Fren...
treasure frens who are nice
to u every moment in life.
once they are not with u...
u'll missed them most!
BtW...it my 1st Brother birthday...
happy 36th Bdae My luvly Brother Along!
luv u...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:56 PM
i just went back home from a bowling game with my fren n dearly sis, Abby! then she go my house use computer 4 a while.thanks 4 cheering up my day sis,i hope u take care yar,be gud gerl..be nice lady..u're sweet as eva...god bless u!
haiz..Again!!i dunno wat i did wrong?? knape aku yg selalu jadi mangsa lelaki huh?? waste my time..ntahlah... Semua jantan sama! Can god show me the ryte way???lead me the path to happiness?im so confused..i dun wanna be like tis forever.is it a curse or wat? y cant i luv sum1 n y cant sum1 luv me truly?? isnt it simple??y must i met this people in life?? i really give up now..i hate tis.. i luv myself better now,no one else..
lepas satu satu masalah timbul dlm hidup aku nie,knape?? ape salah aku??knape?? boleh korg bagi tau aku tak?? knape dgn aku??y?? y must u people hate me??y must u people avoid me??wt i did wrong now?? y must me??i just met sumone tat i dun like yeterday,n today,the people who i think can be a fren do tis to me.. haiz! aku tau aku salah,im always in anger...tapi kenape?? knape takde insan yg benar2 luhur ikhlas dalam hidup nie hah?? haiz... tuhan,ape salah aku lagi?? sehingga kau buat aku begini?aku tk sanggup hidup dalam kehidupan mcm nie lagi..setiap nafasku aku tersiksa...setiap nafasku aku disakiti...setiap nafasku aku dicaci,setiap nafasku aku dihina, setiap nafasku aku dibenci... aku hairan! mungkin inilah nasib ku tuhan...tiada insan yg benar2 ikhlas dalam hidup ini... tuhan benar menduga aku,menduga kesetiaan,kesabaran,kekuatan,keimanan,kelalaian, kegagahan,kebijaksanaan,keburukan,kebaikan,kepayahan dan kehidupan ku yang penuh onak duri ini.. liku-liku hidup ini akan aku teruskan dgn cabaran yg mendatang... aku minta maaf wahai teman,semua teman yg aku kenali...aku tk akan menganggu kehidupan sesiapa lagi... aku hanya ada diri aku dan keluarga... tangisan aku ini tiada gunanya...
thanks yazid 4 being my fren although its 4 a while.....lucky i didnt fell for u any deeper. if not,im gona lose sum1 who i care so much again... ur nice person,maybe my werds makes hurt n im sorry 4 all i had done,u make me a second thought again of wat i shud do now,if u're a fren,u shud understand me better,but u dunt! haiz...sad to say tis,i never ask for anything from u,i just want a simple thing! i just need sum1 to luv n care 4 me for who i am,its enuff! but u make me down again.......although i cry for u,its not gona make things happen! i noe u hate me,but let me tell u i never hate guys!i never hate u too...n i never hate sharul...i hate just attitude n character!!! i never hate u yazid...thanks 4 making a lady like me who is so weak Cry again!! u r just like next after Sharul..maybe,but u both are different in many ways! where all ur promise?? wat else?? y must u did tis to me?? god,plz help me..! i need u.. nuting else to say.. i got no one..no one now.. only Allah!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:08 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
my off Day....
im happy today since i got no other things to think accept thinking of my future..but,'HE' spoilt my mood today,my evening!y must i met him??terserempak dgn dier??jantan yg dayus..jantan serupa setan.yg tak mengenang budi langsung??yg taktau mane asal usulnya?yg tak pernah menggunakan akal?yg mcm anak sundal?mcm sial..!!!! dia...y him??? Fuck man!only god noes better...he show me 'him'.. n dat gal.. her GF,her Sweet gf..to him,not me! Sexy lady,pretty,typical minahz, open minded gerl,jambu,wer Spaghetti strap,..boleh senang dapatnyer pompan...yeah...thats wat he wants ryte?? hmm... not like me,im 100% different from her...i never show what i have.. i dun have the looks but i have the sweet face(perasan) n sweet heart... am i??hahaha!i wanna get rid of him but...i c him! ya tuhan,kenapa aku mesti jumpe dia?? aku tak ingin pun jumpe tapi terjumpe.. haiz! aku nampak di on my way to city hall mrt..im from marina square, n i saw them wen im going down the escalator,i saw him first,wearing the old baju Quiksilver kaler brown white,then i turn over my face coz i dun wanna let him c me! n i saw the gerl,shes a minahz!eeee.... well, not as pretty as i tot,just that she luk very young like 18 yrs old gal...haiz! sumore,the gerl kiss him,kis his lips,i saw ryte straight on my face...ish! tuhan menduga aku..menduga kesabaran aku..
keimanan aku,ketabahan aku dan kekuatan aku... aku bersyukur tuhan temukan aku dgnnya cuma aku tak rela melihatnyer lagi...aku hanya akan tunjukkan muka aku pada dia biler tuhan kurniakan aku seorg teman sejati..yg akan menjaga hati aku ini agar ia tidak dilukai lagi.. im just waiting for it...one day,wen i get that person i'll show it to u...right in front of ur face!yes,i will... its my promise ..one of the werd n sentence in my list! yesh...janji tetap janji.. takpelah,aku hanya boleh buat taktau aje..aku benci dia! benci dgn perangai setan dier..harap,tuhan akan balas setiap insan dgn adil..amin!
b4 that,i went to changi airport too...then i went to walk round the airport..saje je.went to pacific coffee too...hmm,ntahlah.. my heart is empty,but im happy! tomorow going out with abby,my cutie sis! hehe!main bowling pulak.. oh ya,2 daes ago,ina kol me.. asking me what happen coz i never contact her..never even msg n kol.. las pun tanye aku jugak.hehe!ntah... like i said,i wanna be free... alone at tis moment! im not gona give up,im gona earn as much money AS i can.. i will,coz im still young n due to my dream of studying in the coz i want,i will be the best as i can... money is all i need.i wanna earn sumthing n gain the knowledge...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:11 AM
Monday, June 06, 2005
This are the Recap of yesterday,due to my buzy day too tired to tag...
Saturday,JuNe 4th..
i werk 7-3 in the morning and then when to toa payoh thinking whether i shud accept the job or not..hmm,nevermind.i shouldnt..
then i just let it go again..keje with ct n other quite fun at toa payoh! cynthia(my Supervisor) bdae is sunday n her husband bought for her a bouquet of flowers with ferrero rocher chocolate.n even a necklace!so nice! hehe! so romntic man n husband..here me n ct wondering,wen will we get a husband or guy like that?? where to find???tkdenyer lah...hmm...then i went home siap2 then need to go to wedding invitation at Jurong west.. siapa kawin??my mother fren. shes the auntie of My old classmate Norlizah... i met her there after almost ten yrs tk jumpe die since we graduate from Primary school keng seng primary in 1996..now i 2005!!!! wah..after long years of seperation at last we met each other!we hug each other...so sweet! she luk like last time too n just 2 weeks ago she get the job as a Front office assistant at Shang ri la hotel.. she the first among my lady frens who get the bike lisenced.now riding Kr.. phui..lizah or we used to kol alice.so happy gal i noe b4! now that we grow up...its different..saw noradila too actuali! but too bad she too far for me to reach..then saw my old schoolmate too.. Murniyati remember??the top PSLE student in KSPS...haha tats great! she luk a bit different only but the same lor..meriah orang kawin dier... the couple is malay n chinese...nt bad huh? the guy quite hansem! wahahaha.... wen i light MRT boon lay..i met With ITE classmate tat is AZLEE! hehe..he makin kurus tapi mcm dulu hansem berg jugak... dier ckp dier da kawin..alhamdulilah... n he show me the baby pic! so cute siah! heheh,hes bdae is 26 july tau!dekat2 dgn aku.. gudlah he married..at least orang mcm nie dA penAh buat salah dorg akan tanggung kesalahan...tak lepas tangan mcm tuh jer..!! bagus sey... although they do it..he still berani mcm fuad jugak!then me n mum go JP,buy shoe keje aku ler...12.90 only,so cheap ryte,buy lor... JP is damn crowded!headache man!ish!!! i dun like so many people want. rimas...then on my way home i saw my CBTL Hidayat! so long never c him.he ask me join cbtl back but too bad.. i dun want!i did mis CBTL!
wen back home,dgn make up2 aku yg melekat di muka nie,aku tido! hahaha..sebab aku penat!!
Sunday,JunE 5th..
wake up at 1o.30am.. then me siap2 n went to My jiran lama at henderson Rd Cik gayah house at Blk 735 Wdls! phuii...there's another wedding at 729 hall..that one so many mat motor!semua hansem2 belaka beb!tapi....erk..no want catch my eyes n heart! cant one lah! hehe...well...the wedding at cik gayah house is great too. not bad..the food also nice..hmm! saw norashikin n yune her daughter. da besar yune...cute pulak tuh dier! then i saw the pengantin.the lady is at pahang one...minah malaysia! hehe! cikgu sekolah u!she quite plum but still pretty..u noelah,if sumone get married,jadi raja sehari..mesti jambu gilernyer!berseri2 lah dier!
then went home n write tis blog..going off to werk soon at 4.
now,my mind is thinking,when is my turn getting married??? mcm best gitu..jadi isteri orang eh?ish! konfem happy..tapi not really lah...
kene dengar ckp suami..siaplah jodoh aku yer?? im waiting only.. mesti best,hari tuh lah hari aku berseri2..jambu dan menawan..ahakz!
n now also...my mind is tinking another thing...Wen n im gona convert Full time???haiz....Bosannyer!! i cant wait man...i need money.i regret wen i left coffeeclub just like that,that tyme... such a waste ryte?? but never mind lar...i can still find ways to get back to coffeeclub...or other job better then dis... i need to earn 1K above in order to support myelf til next year b4 i join school at malaysia!entahlah.... im still wondering when...?? what shud i do?? n finally..i off again tomorow...great lah... i get to watch Zul Show at nyte! i wanna search job again tomorow... hehee! peace...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:33 AM
Saturday, June 04, 2005
can i just say sorry for talking to u roughly just now..i didnt mean it but i dun like people to force me for the things that i dun like to talk bout...i told u a bit about ur Ex blog n tats enuff..dun have to tell me to elaborate it ok?? im fine if u dun like my werds.. the way i speak or wateva that came out of my mouth.. that me n i hope u people can understand me.i noe my own character best n well! so dun have to ask me y im like that... i noe the werd like.. "takde pape,wateava,is it,entah,biasa aje,nuthing,mcm tu je,n bla bla etc..." its my werds...i used to say wen i got nuthing to say to people..i dun noe how to talk,i dun noe how to open my mouth to create new werds at all..i noe u feel iritated by that,but im sorry im like this naturally... dun have to ask me why kay?? n i dun like to be buSybody n talk about other people life that i dun even noe .. im just giving u sum info that all..dun tink im gona reveal all her stories,u tink i care is it?u want u check out for urself.. haiz...
i just got no mood to talk bout her thats all...i noe u still like her n luv her,i noe it hard for u to accept her situation wen she had another hubby in her life... dun pull me into ur story either..i dun like it at all.like me,i've forgot all the pass.wat for u luv sum1 who dun luv u???waste of time..sorilah yazid,i didnt intend to say all tis,but i just got to tell u frankly that i dun like to talk about all the past animore...whats past to me is past..lets look on to the future.if u dun like the way i react,its up to u to decide. im just dun wan to be a burden to u in ur life.. go on and get sum1 better out there since u still young..since u still in the army n ord next year june.u still got full of time to enjoy n find sum1 who can be ur life partner.i dun deserve to have u though.. there's more sweet n pretty luving gerls out there...bukan jual mahal ar or playing hard to get or maybe ckp besar but i just still got no intention to tink bout guys yet..fren is ok but more then that let me think thousand of time first.my past experience make me really feel down..i hate tis feeling n its the feeling i have now here! my trust were gone all just like that...y?? i wonder y everytime it me who get tis type of situation!y must i noe all tis people who dun deserve to be my true fren??? u remember ZAKI?? he also same.SHARUL?? fren for 4 yrs+ n at last....?? all this people just noe how to say "SORRY"! but dun noe how to show it whose gona be next?knape aku tak jumpe kwn yg betul2 sejati nak kenal aku sebagai kawan baik...tapi aku jumpe orang yang menyakitkan hati aku nie...! haiz! i hate tis! kepercayaan aku ini telah di musnahkan oleh insan yg bernama manusia...
now....after moving on,i wanna make sure i succeed in my life. Yuz nk ajak kuar..zamri pun..nk pegi tak eh? erm..maybe ar! sebagai kwn baru aku..mane tau dorg leh tolong aku bile aku perlukan bantuan. tul tak??? pasal yazid??entah...aku tau lah dier tgh sakit hati dgn aku...lagi aku terbaca blog ex dier n he wanna noe the stories of her..there nuting much to say actually.kalau u boring n bosan dgn i dan cara i berbual...u carik lah teman lain yg boleh layan u. mcm semlm pun u msg kwn u punye kwn..kwn u WaN kan??u ask for her mms pic.so u msg lah dier.i ape ader?i got nuting,i different from those gals out there,dorg semua fashionista,sweet luking gal,pretty,slim2,
fantastic,jambu,baik2 belaka...mcm yati nie?? ape yang yati ader.. yati tade pape yg boleh memikat hati lelaki...yg ade cume hati... yg tulus ikhlas ini.. yati tak pandai dgn kata2 manis yg boleh membuat lelaki cair pun..tu pasal lelaki yg yati penah sayang lari... tapi kesetiaan aku nie haiz..tiada tanding nyerlah...betul nyer setia yg teramat sgt! akhirnya aku yg terperangkap...kenapa kesetiaan aku nie harus di khianati?? yazid,jgn buang masa u lah kay? get to noe others...yati susah nk terima cinta buat masa ini..hanya tuhan saja yg akan membuka hati ini..buat masa ini, i just wanna be alone..kip myself bz with werk n be myself... i dun have enuff tyme... kehendak tuhan harus dituruti... oh god,plz help me! tempatkan aku ditempat2 orang yg beriman... amin!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:58 PM
Today my off day,guess half of the day had gone just like that.
the feeling of emptiness in my heart always make me think..think n think...dunno y my feeling today realli suck...so Sickening..
i've been cheated recently from the Polar puffs n cakes...they said only want to give me full time till now?? none at all..aku sanggup letakkan kerja coffee club aku ketepi semata-mata kerana polar.adakah apa yg aku lakukan nie berguna??entahlah....for my future??will it be useful??hmm...i dunno yet.aku bersyukur dgn ape yg ade skrg..hanya tuhan yg tahu ape yg aku akan jadi nanti.my future in the cuming years..Stress ar!! haiz...
one more question...will there be any soul out there who will take care of me one day??hmm.....there is... only god noes! aku ingin terbang..terbang seperti burung helang melayang jauh meninggalkan sangkar nya mengurungnya..bebas,terbang jauh2 tanpa kerisauan dlm hati..boleh tak jadi burung?? tk perlu berfikir..haha!jadi manusia nie lagi bagus,cuma berguna sikit kerana diberi akal untuk berfikir panjang..betul tak??? hmm....pikiran ku sekrg ini buntu... terlalu buntu sekali!mengenang nasib yg mendatang...haiz! i cnt ere the thing i've done last tyme.. all my past.. its over yati..its over! btw..today ZaMRi Dah ORD...starting skul in ite college 20th june..so gud!!! hehe..ina also starting skul soon..me??? waiting for??? haiz.....
i learn tis today...
"TIAP-TIaP YaNG BERJIWA PASTI AKAN MERASAKAN MATI SESUNGGUHNYA HARI KIAMAT SAJALAH DISEMPURNAKAN PAHALAMU.bARANGSIAPA YANG DIJAUHKAN DARI NERAKA DAN DIMASUKKAN KE DALAM SYURGA MAKA SUNGGUH IA TELH BERUNTUNG,KEHIDUPAN DUNIA TIDAK LAIN HANYALAH KESENANGAN YG MEMPERDAYAKAN..."
(ALI-IMRAN 185)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:25 AM
Friday, June 03, 2005
Dah aku kata..kalau namanya "lelaki",sama saja semuanya..there's no different at all..very hard to find lelaki sejati nowadays,da tk wujud lagi lelaki yg sejati mcm yg aku nak sekrg,kalau kenal dgn budak baru pun,tetap sama jugak...da jumpe,kenal2 tinggal...betul tak??? haiz..lame! u tink i want u eh?no..im not luking for bf or steady...im just lukin for frens..2 widen my circle of fren around me,but y must always u guys do that???merepek ler... we do have feelings..y must i met this kind of people???to bother or not to?? haiz... i shud just keep quiet then,malaz nak layan all tis people attitude problems!even the guy i luv n trusted b4 do this to me...y?? after all tis happen u left me behind alone??y?????? i endure all the pain,i pray to god n wish i cud forget the past of me..i cud but............????????? u really make me feel like im cheap lady here man!!! u understand wats the meaning of luv??? i hope one day u will understand the meaning of true luv! im feeling really down now...thinking of my nasib in the future!what will my future be??will i be happy? i dunno..maybe im gona be single for the rest of my entire life mcm auntie busu ku..jaga mak dan ayah aku.. hmm....ok jugak tuh,tak menyusahkan org pe..if in 3yrs+ tyme my dad da pencen...i want to sell tis house n migrate to malaysia then.. it better then leaving in tis stress Singapore!maybe i will get my jodoh at 30?,40? hhahaa..ntah eh...allah yg tahu...! hidup ini sudah tertulis,kita hanya ikut rentaknya...let c then! peace..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:50 PM
Atas Nama Cinta
dalam hidup mesti ada perasaan cinta,
dalam hati pasti terselit perasaan yg mendalam,
di mata ini,pasti terpaut pada yg indah-indah saja,
Dari mata turun ke hati...
dalam hati berputik cinta...
walaupun dari mata kasar dia insan biasa,
namun dari pandanganku,dia insan yg ku pilih...
dia yang menarik hati...
dia yg teramat istimewa...
mencoretkan lukisan yg terindah di hati ini...
aku pasti cinta itu cinta suci...
cinta mulia yg ikhlas sekali..
hati berdegup,goyang melihat mu...
getarannya terasa di dada..
indahnya cintamu..
seindah bulan terang yg menyinari malam..
tak perlu lilin untuk menghidupkan cahaya..
yg pasti...
hanya ada hati.. yg membuka dan menhidupkan kebahagiaan...
yg menyerikan kehidupan, yg nyata...
ini semua anugerah yg tersimpan...
buat setiap insan bergelar manusia..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:25 AM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
ab n NuR
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:39 AM
How i wish the world is a cube, so i would come to an end.
Rather than the world to be round walking aimlessly searching for you..................and i continue sitting counting every person that pass by, maybe
its my love wen it reach million
Reverency of love is to love and be love
It was like having numerous slashes on my chest
It went deep and my heart bleed
And i cry profusely i felt far more miserable going trough this tornment nite
am i giving unample love too much less of concern
i had my wound open again i cried on anything under my knowledge
now im rushing for that couple of whisky i wanna daze till im sober
for to end my mind thikning bout her promises promises promises
what do the word miss mean while it never been shown
words are easire to made to sentence
then making it visible for my naked eye to see
i stump hard on myself hearing the unwanted things
is it this hard to love and be love?
i cant wait no longer im hurt so much
for the nite im having to drown my sorrow
as no sense of liberty falls upon sometimes i really wonder
why i envy my reverence of living
wen every downfall rolls on me again and again and again
and again to cry the entire awakeness of myself...
Its poem Created by Ayun....just a sample...!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:25 AM
"hidup ini sudah tertulis.
kita hanya mengikut rentaknya...
kalau ada jodoh..
tak akan ke mana."
i took from Dee blog!jgn ,marah eh..ko tgk crite ape eh dee??is it "Atas nama cinta"..?? lakonan Nisda dengan Zul hmm, its bout tis guy who luvs tis gal,trying all kinds of things just to attracts the gal atention.too bad,Diliya didn' luv him n let him down.but he never give up,he's confidence that he will get diliya..the guy name Fuad is such a nice guy,romantic n very patient. helps diliya's family at the village,took her from werk everyday n treat he so well.while tis diliya still in luv with sum1 who dun luv her n sum1 who just treat her as his lil sis.,,diliya luvs tis guy still waits for him.bout fuad,he got a sister that engage b4 with tis actor name Badrul,in the show,his name is Mukhriz..too bad,when one day Diliya who was werking in a boutique shop seling wedding clothes for people like fuad sis n mukhriz that is getting married soon,mukhirz feel in luv with diliya n wnts to get to noe diliya..he try by all means just to get her but,diliya is not that easy to get...haha! their engagement broke up just like that all becos of mukhriz who ask for it...n fuad sis was blaming on diliya n make diliya as her enemy now...she dun like diliya at all...
Fuad really luvs diliya man...they such perfect couple in tht DRama..what will happen to diliya n fuad???are they getting married soon or just???? i'll catch u again next week..tis drama is on TV1 every monday 9pm-10pm. in my mind now...will one day a guys luvs me like fuad luvs diliya one day?? is there any guys out there who can be like him? or better then him? Dream on yati...dream!!! the person whose gona be my husband one day had been written by god..gud or bd i have to accept.in malay,JODOH! what past is past,move on.. face the reality..im sure i will be fine n happy with my life.now i am Glad to be myself..dun wanna turn back to my past life experience.. its damn horibble...thanks god for everything.
Yesterday after werk at 3pm,i went tampines to meet up with my Dearest Sis ABBY!!!yesh! i luv her...hehehe!nice gal... we play pool n jalan2 tamp mall japz,we bought baju from Fox!sweet n nice shirt..sale wat!its been a long tyme we havent been out together yet... sejak dier ader ADI n she very bz with her werk ta womens secret...now,shes back to single lady..sis,be happy kay? dun be sad..life must go on, we till have lots of tyme to go...we have to ctch up with things n live life to the fullest..im always here for u if u need any help kay?that me people,im there for anione who need me..but wen im alone, sad...need help,people who i need mostly were gone.... far way from me,haiz..! its been a month+ i never met nisa, what happen to her??i dun reali know..guess she's happy with her dearest luvly guy Rashid ryte? sumtymes wen tok to nisa,i will think back n recall bout the past.i dun like it..dunnoe,just becos that "FOOL GUY" nme will cum out from either one of our mouth.. dulu, wen rashid in taiwan,nisa is always there...now??? haiz.. dunno! she's like gone....gone away from me... tats y i dun like to disturb people who have gF/bf.... unlike me,im single..im always free to move bout,no curfew,no woories,nobody could stop me..nobody to scold me too........i just go with the flow,let tyme tells,let god mit me up with that sumone.what for i hurry???no use..im gona waste my time again like last time if i hurry..boring...i dun want! nisa,thnks for being my fren,its not thAt i chAnge,but luks like u also change... today i msg her,dun even reply back..2 msg,2 different times too.. i just dun want to be so close to sum1..later??? im gona get it again... heartpain!!! im waiting for kfc to kol me for permanent part time....hope i can go there back for extra income..btw, i get my paycheck today..get 300+ n wen totl up with 7eleven,i get around 700+ tis mth..alhamdulilah,rezeki allah!
nx mth hope to get more then tis..just now, my supervisor Cynthia buy for us KFC fillet burger meal n also a strawberry 1kg cake,hehehe! so nice of her,mcm party gitu seh...gerek! i enjoy werking there too...but dunno y today i a bit quiet..i c my roster i get 4-10 nx monday maybmybe becos of that,coz mondy i wanna c Zul.. at Tv1..hehe! i dun wanna mis the Drama Show! i wanna catch the show now,update again later..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:56 AM
