strum

but everythingmeans nothing.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Suddenly,i got no mood,no mood at all..haiz! ntahlah..dun feel like toking to anyone today i tink..besok,i wanna be alone...i dun want to contact anione..i wanna be alone by myself..i will off my handphone..so no one can disturb me! sorie Nisa,i didnt pick up ur kol coz im bz...i didnt msg u too... so damn boring man! life is so bored nowadays...being alone??? haha..everywhere i go alone,no one,no other soul with me to accompany! im sick n tired of life... god,plz help me to be fine gal...im so restless..i need the ryte way n path to lead my life now! im happy with my single life too... abby, dun tink too much,there will be sum1 better then him one day,can bet u..me?? i still the same,alone,werk n werk n werk..
i decided to study back soon,or if not study,i wanted to buy a house at msia for my own family if father dun wants to buy.. im just bored now!! finding ways to get money now! have too..soon! the tyme is up...nx year or 2 yr from now... i need to get the hotel cert! hmm...lets c... tyme is still long more to go.. wait n c...! :P

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:14 PM

Just only finish watching him on TV!who else??? my fvourite actor now..Zulhuzaimi!! weehehee,i like him siah! he so sweet...if his mine,oh god! i really happy..ehhe! like i said,Smile is one of the reason for me to fell in luv with sum1! wahduh!! hes mile is so attractive to my eyes,n wish i cud mit him one day!hmm,too much of dreaming eh yati??hish... i wont get him one,but i wish i get sum1 like his character on that drama!hes really gentlemn n romantic. oh no...cair aku ehehe! zul,zul..u mAKE ME wonder every nyte n then bout u only..dulu time secondary time,aku suke tomok..tuaufik lah,existlah..skrg???zul pulak..hehe! watevalah ryte...just hope to c him on tv next tyme round...they r all my idol..

today a bit boring day,not many customer at Polar.sales also cant beat the monthly target yet...ish...SAd Sad..in business,we cant give up..we must atttact customers,we have to..its part n parcel of life.hmmm...dun wana lose job now,n i hope i get another job by nx week so that end of june i earn enuff money to support myself n my own family...money i need u desperately.cheers pun tak phone padahal tht tyme they kol me as whether im interested or not with the job! haiz....boring man! Rezeki aku nie allah yg beri..alhamdullilah! syukur kepadanya..amin! tomorow werk morning again,my off day on Friday, my favourite day off all days coz,its the day of muslims starting day...to me,its the best day ever.. i thank god for giving me happiness n gud wealth n life now.im not like last tym,i've freshen up my life n no more thinking of stupid things! thank god so much! without his way..i wont be better.. just think of god n ur life will be safe..happy as ever n always be strong!..wanna eat nasi lemak covered with daun pisang cooked by my mum,hmm...want sum??? hehehe... :p

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:24 PM

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NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:46 AM

"Untitled"-Simple plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but Im blinded by the white light
I cant remember how
I cant remember why
Im lying here tonight

And I cant stand the pain
And I cant make it go away
No I cant stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on
As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybodys screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
Im slipping off the edge
Im hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I cant explain what happened
And I cant erase the things that Ive done
No I cant

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on
As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on
As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:22 AM

Monday, May 30, 2005

people..had u find a fren who is so nice,so gud, help u anytime and Anywhere<24hrs> for u,luv u,appecite u,willing to listen to ur problems,ur dreams,ur luv life,ur job,ur past tymes,ur personal thingy,give u money wen u in need,go anywhere with u,accompany u n joke to u???what im trying to say here is... the VERY BEST FRIEND atau SaHABAT in malay.in my whole entire life,i didnt even met tis sum1,maybe next tym?? but its too late...im gona be 21 tis year july...i only trust myself,my family n my GOD..no one else in my life. becos,its no use and not worth at all..no one in tis world will understand n noe how i feel now.only myself n ALLAh..everything

in my past life experiences had over n im happy with it..im very happy but im just not satisfied! SORRY??? isnt it a werd that have lots of meaning???only those people who noes that they had done wrong to us will say SORRY.. yeah,wat i mean,i've met that person the guilty guy on earth who simply said that he made me feel down n his sorry for what he had done! forgiveness is what he wanted from me but please,dun beg or ask from me..ask from god! he will sent the mesej if u really make a move to be a gud man!u must be happy with ur sum1 ryte now by ur side ryte??me??? im all alone all tis while! where were u wen i need u?where were u wen i need luv? where were u went i need ur care/concern?? u r far away from me...milions n millions of miles away from me..but im glad,although its a bit too late for me to change,i learnt my mistakes,n i learnt not to regret on my own decisions..u shud noe y i did that in the first place! not becos i want u to be my guy or husband,but becos i LUV u one and only u in my life that tyme...i can even say i dun luv myself but i luv u more then ever..its damn true...,till im blinded by ur werds!
u shud noe me better,once i luv tht person,i'll do anything for him! laut yg luas terbentang pun aku sanggup lakukan ape saje demi kau...

kerana sifat cinta,sayang,rindu,kasih...ini semua semula jadi yang datang dalam hati aku yg suci ini..kau tkkan faham sharul! tak akan! betapa aku korbankan segalanyer untuk kau,demi cinta yg mendalam..ape yg akhirnya aku dapat??? i get nuthing!!! simple... u play me out for ur own nafsu! its over...n im done... i throw u far away from heart.. hating ur attitude makes me more better! like i said n promise to myself b4,tak kawin pun takpe sebab i already feel the pain b4... i ever say,let u be the first n the last...but now, i tink back,for what?? let u be the first n the last to play me ouT.i experience the pain for 4 years...it totally hurt me.what i can do?? i only have god as my fren,luv me n tke care of me..dier yg aturkan jalan hidup aku skrg.alhamdulilah,im happy,n im very fine.where r all the fren that i need?? nisa??irena?? where?? they r bz...i dun wanna disturb u all kay fren... i n my own life,n u with ur own life too...! anyone can open the key to my heart?? hmmm.....sape eh?hahha!entahlah... im scared...fear!

yazid,thanks for being my fren yar,i appreciate it,i dun wanna hope on any guys now,let god make a decision for me....u're a nice guy,but i dun tink i suits u.yar,my attitude is different...i dun noe how to caught guys eyes, i dun noe how to expres my feeling,kemanjaan aku,i've been hurt once,i dun wanna get hurt again..im sure u can get sum1 better than me like what sharul did 2 me.i noe u're lonely thats why u kol n msg me ryte??? u can say u like me becos im nice,sweet..u sanggup bayar but ur heart?it can't lies,it cant yazid...u havent mit me,u dun noe my attitude.. u dun even c me face to face,u cant say u like me kan??? tk logik bang oi..
i noe u luking for sum1 who can makes u forget hanis ur Ex.. im different!!! im totally different from other gals out there..im just a simple gal...no one noes me well unless me myself...well, i cant give u the answer,only god will give u the answer.. i just need sum1 who luvs me for who i am n sum1 who can be 24hrs by my side wen i need help... sum1 who i can rely on too...sum1 who needs me,luv me seriusly n care for me well....i havent met that sum1 yet,who??? only god noes...so yazid,think twice! if u makes me fell for u...n then u leave me, u r just the same as that culprit! that idiotic sharul! dun makes me hate u..hates ur guts n attitude! i dun like it. im serius...! so plz...handle my heart with care...!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:01 AM

Sunday, May 29, 2005

akhirnya,dpt jugak gaji dari 7 eleven!...syukur lah,kalo tidak?? ish...takde duit aku lagik.hmm!dapat lah dlm 300+,rezeki tetap rezeki allah pada aku!aku hanya boleh bersyukur..aku terima ape saje buruk dan baiknyer dlm kehidupan.setiap hari,ade saja rintangan, dugaan dan cabran yg menimpa aku.aku redha,semuanyer ditangan allah. Sekarang,7 eleven da takde..lepas kerisauan aku skrg...tak perlu bimbang lagik mcm dulu lah kan?keje sane sini takde arah tujuan! ehehe!

oh yer,tadi ku mimpi DIER!keparat tul..hahaa,heran aku sey!tkade angin takde ribut.tk mungkin pokok bergoyang per..mcm ner leh mimpi dier sedangkan aku tak ingat pun dier! well,too bad,im still strong now! n will be strong foreva in my life..hehe,mcm yer je yati! kalau aku cair lagik dgn lelaki aku hentak diri aku kat tembok terus ilang ingatan! hahaha.amcm??no lah...aku hanya boleh berdiam diri,buat bodoh,buat hal sendiri dan hanya boleh serahkan segalanyer pada tuhan..jodoh ditangan nyer...belum tu biler,esok?lusa?tulat?minggu depan,bulan depan?25 july ke? haha,ntah lah..tk tahu lagik! kt singapore? kat jb?kt indon?kt mekkah?kt italy ke? sape tahu? hanya allah yg tahu...atau mungkin tak kawin terus?bukan aku yg tanak kawin,tapi da tertulis sejak aku lahir tak kawin ke??tk kawin aku amek anak angkat satu/dua jaga...berkat sikit!betul nie..ehehe!

so....whats up next with my life???hmm...lets c... i got plenty of tyme left for myself! i'll live my life to the fullest! esok aku keje pagi...7-3pm,then wanna go sumwhere.maybe pegi exercise ke,pi masjid ke,hmm...lum tau lagik..or maybe keluar dgn my mum! hmm...
tengoklah dulu,ari Thurs aku pi jb dah dgn mum n abg ngah..mkn ikan bakar..beli food,drinks n even magazines n cds! the next day tats yesterday,keje 7-10..full shift!weeehhheee! nari gaji...syukurlah.. semuanyer selamat! i wanna eat lah..yum yum!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:05 AM

Saturday, May 28, 2005

A'kum..
eh..wat a day siah today!haha..im werking the whole day 15 hgours of werking n im werking 15 hrs+.. well..im happy with my life nowadays..
im single n available sumore! not looking for anyone n im Strong all my life! im happy man!! weeehhheee.... no body disturb my life n no woories at all!money is what i need,family is my priority n myself as a cheerful gal is more important now!i hope im gona gain sumthing in my life! rezeki aku sentiasa ader..tuah dtg bergolek2 menanti aku! ehehhee..well! i hope dis will be foreva..i dun wanna crck my head for sumthing tt is never worth it at all...wste of time n waste of effort nn energy..hmm,u noe wat i mean ryte from my past experiences! i already throw it away from my heart..fuck off with that SEx maniac man! i hate him siah..i mean.i hate his attitude! too easy to say sorry...easy say but never done!!! never even prove it to me! i hate his guts!!hate to the CORE! tapi..apepun,hikmah nyer tetap ader..aku bersyukur tuhna panjangkan usiaku dan memberi mase aku bertaubat dan insaf kembali ke pangkal jalan! alhmdulilah...

Besok...is gona be Saturday..cepatnye...means,i've met my frens for past 1 week ago.my ITE frens... i really missed them! Mahmud?? where u? yati rindukan joke ko lah..hehehe! ish.... hes the great fren i ever met..i luv u my fren! then,goes the rest man,sham,zahid,eric,
ibrahim,Zul,suhaimi,elmi,azlee,nazri,zali, manelah korg skrg...i miss u all my frens!! well..... they r not the same as that fucker! i missed them! kawan pompuan aku tk kisah...lelaki jer... istimewa sikit! dorg nie gerek..bleh ajak bebual..nasihat,gurau,relek... tak becok mcm pompuan,haha! u noe wt tak?? aKU KEJE TADI.. Pi lah toilet kan,nak buang air kecik...kat tempat keje ar,tgh bend down alih2 handphone aku melepas jatuh ke dlm JAMBAN!!! oh fuck shit man!! hahha..terus handphone aku basash ar..kasi kering pakai warmer puff aku kat keje! oklah tuh...belah tahan!weehhee! aku punyelah sedih.. handphone is the way i connect tru everione now.. hmm! siti pinjm kan handphone dier jab..hheehe,nasib enter PUK code aku da ok dah..kalo tidak! nasib oh nasib!! hiz.pent ar..tis des i dun tink i got enuff rest!oh yar...Cheers kol me! dpt ah tuh kan?? nanti aku kol dier kay??s long as im still; young and can stand,i'll be here willingly.. bubbyee...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:28 AM

Friday, May 27, 2005

hish..i hate 7 eleven sembawang siah! now is 26th of may! n i stil didnt get my pay slip!wt e hell! i noe im wrong...but at least kasi ar duit gaji aku yg belen2 tuh babi!!!! celaka siak....jangan naikkan darah aku ar! chibbaaaii.... Fuck man!!! its more then one mth i havent get my pay! wt company is tis??? people..dun go 7 eleven SEmbawang MRT! i hate tat place..manager sucks man! fuck off ar.... dun play around with me man... i will make sure i go to the labour head office n complain if i dun receive my pay! sundal ar..
kalau gaji aku banyak takpe!!! ini??? brape sen jer! chibai ar...aku dahlah takde duit skrg... korg buat aku mcm nie??? cant u just accept life as it is???buat bodoh ajer???kasi gaji n u're done! y must u keep it!y??????????????????? damn it man! ko orang senang,gaji ribuan dolar..aku??? 500 pun tak jejak tau sebulan..tapi aku besyukur dgn pemberian tuhan! takpelah....skrg aku susah...akan datang siapa tahu aku senang!polar jugak boleh tolong aku mungkin!!! pi mampuz ar korg... ko buat lah aku mcm nie..korg pun akan dapat balasan tuhan...ya tuhan.....tolonglah aku....!!! remember!!! allah tu maha adil! aku tahu salah aku...i noe wt i've done to u all... but plz..my pay! my had werk...for u at least 3 weeks... pay me back sucker! hate it man!!! argggh........!!!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:06 AM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

"Incomplete"-Backstreet boyz..

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I cant find no rest
Where Im going is anybody’s guess

I ve tried to go on like I never knew you
Im awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all Im going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
Its written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

Ive tried to go on like I never knew you
Im awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all Im going to be is incomplete

I dont mean to drag it on, but I cant seem to let you go
I dont wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

Ive tried to go on like I never knew you
Im awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all Im going to be is incomplete
Incomplete

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:42 PM

I remember wasting time
Watching as the planes fly by
I remember hearing the engines echoing through the sky

And they used to say
That someday you'll forget it
You won't hear them
And they used to say
That time goes by
That nothing changes

I won't miss my flight again
I'm not where I belong
So give me just one chance
And one by one I'll prove you wrong
One by one I'll prove you wrong

I remember every night
Sitting by the runway side
I remember waiting for a reason to say goodbye

And they used to say
That someday you'll forget it
You won't hear them
And they used to say
The day goes by but you can't change it

Sometimes I think I've been wrong
But this is the place that I think I belong
And everytime I speak my mind I'm leaving you behind

and I won't miss my flight again
I'm not where I belong
So give me just one chance
And one by one I'll prove you wrong

I won't miss my flight again
I'm not where I belong
So give me just one chance
And one by one I'll prove you wrong
one by one I'll prove you wrong
one by one I'll prove you wrong
one by one I'll prove you wrong

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:28 AM

Today off day,i have decided to chose PolaR PuFF N CaKes as my job. my Supervisor is willing to help me to earn money!then,tot of finding extra income in KFC back..or maybe in any other roots... im wiiling to find extra job..im luking forward now..! hidup mesti happi beb!hahaha..gji kecik tkpe..lama2 jadik bukit!850?? ENUFF LAH WITH ALL MY OT..haiz! sure get more then dat one..heheh!hidup mesti pandai jimat pe..nri off nk pi jb mak tanak plak!erm..nevermind..bye!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:09 AM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Dee....thanks!i noe im not tat easy to accept luv from sum1.its damn hard man! i dun wanna get hurt again..its the greatest fear sis! namun aku tk penah kesal dgn ape yg terjadi...tk gune menyesal sebab nasi da jadi bubur..takkan keras balik nyer! hehehe..well,im happy with my life now,people surrounding me,frens semua..aku happy banget!
it 2 mth after i last met him on 24 of march...yahoo!baguslah..ape nk tgk muke dier lagik?tk ingin..hahaha.tapi seriusly DEE!! im happy with my life skrg...although im alone,no luv from any guys,im seriusly happy go lucky!dari dulu..sedih2 kan??ape gunayer?? mcm pompan giler jer..haha! yati skrg happy dgn hidup dier! bit by bit..i 4got him already...thanks to god...! to fall in luv again..no way!not tat easy...haha..unless,sum1 who i like..ZulHuzaimi ar...hehehe!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:00 AM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

hmmm.....u noe the key to my heart tak??easy lah to say but hard to do u noe...can prove to me?? u can say u luv me b4 u mit me ryte? semua bleh cakap mcm tuh per...senang!kalo yazid baca nie,hmm... u taulah eh? hehehe..yati tak trust guy lagik..sweet werd from that idiotic man Name S***** have make me tawar hati..his werd make me really into Him like stupid fool gal!i noe,as a lady,im happy n luv sweet werd from guys,coz i need the care n the belaian.. i can say i cn fell for sumone with sweet werds like that idiotic man..he make me trust him! but at last,u are a liar man!u dun like me,u can say to me in a nice way..."yati,i tak de perasaan dekat u..im really sorie,move on n we r just fren will u?" if u said that to me,im sure i can take it!but not tru SMS!my face!coward ah u??hahaha... fter all this things happen,i dunt trust guys animore..i dun even care. if u really serius with me,then go for it!im sure my heart can open for u..but its just not easy as ABC..u need to sacrifice,show how much u luv me..never fails to make me urs..concern bout me!simply said,show me ur true luv!hehhee..terus terang i said,i dun care u smoke,u drink,u have tatoo or wat..coz i had experienced b4..but, if can i dun want all tis!appearance doesnt matter,as long as u luv me for who i am..tats it! i just need luv...TRUE love..if u cn give me tht true luv,i will appreciate most! luv me becos of my attitude, must be understanding..u must be there always 4 me wen i need u..24 hours will u?? treat me like princess?hahaha....shower me with ur care..be serius with me...pandai amek hati aku..haha! im violent at tymes,can be naugthy,garang n dun reali noe how to give u attention!
tapi...if im serius to sum1,i will stick to it,i'll luv u once n for all..u must noe how to luv my family n u must be my side always.. haha! but..... satu je kau kene ingat!!! aku tak percayakan lelaki... itu sajer...! if u go for looks,body shape all... im not suitable for u..,im not pretty,dun have the nice figure... im just a simple gerl...due to my experience from that idiotic jantan... im gonna prove him im gona be sum1 who u really wants.one day..u will c how much i change all becos of ur werds...i mean what i said, becos i wanna show u how i look soon...im gona make u damn suprise.by that tyme,if i already got sum1 who luvs me,u came back to me..im sorry... i dun need u animore...i've throw my luv far away in the ocean... so mcm ner?? kunci dier mcm ne nak carik?? kene pandai2 ar carik eh?? bukan senang nak yati terima...i just need luv..sum1 who can be by my side 24 hrs wen i need him.. erm,carik jelah kunci tuh..mesti leh dapatnyer kalau kau serius! okies??? im giving u hint..itupun kalau u baca nie blog..kalo tak..takpe..! im just scared...takut pasal dulu! itu jer.my pst experience really taught me a lesson.although i cant be his,but im glad i met him n behind everything that happens im sure theres a reason that hides on it! i want peace,i want sum1 who is tanggungjawab..care for his family,mine n even tau tentang agama.. so can ajar aku..kalau taktau pun we can learn.. just accept me for who i am...luving,forgiving,romantic... wahduh yati!! melebih siak! no lah...im just elaborating...hahaha! oh yar one more thing,i luv guy with sweet smile mcm ZuLHuzaimy!!
tergoda aku...n that drama,he really serius of that lady nisda,mcm2 dier buat untuk bukak hati itu nisda.ikhlas dan benar2 menyintai nisda..so touching man! kalau lah ade orang mcm dier,atau dier ke yg melamar aku...ish....cair siak aku! 100% aku cakap I WILL BE URS ZUL...SURE,n then i hug him tight2..haha!takkan lepaskan nyelah..eheheh... klah...nak tdo..nyte!

P/s: oh yar!! abby,dun be sad..u still have me sis..be brave n move on.if yati boleh,knape sis takleh??u boleh..just do it! i luv u my sis...take care...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:15 PM

Cinta

cinta,datang dan pergi...
dia menarik hati...
memikat ke kalbu....
mencuri hatiku...

aku datang atas nama cinta,
aku pergi juga atas nama cinta
aku berlari mengejar cinta
aku berlalu pergi meninggalkan cinta.

hatiku terguris atas nama cinta...
hatiku perit atas nama cinta..
hatiku pedih juga atas nama cinta..

cinta tak mungkin ku capai tanpa perasaan hati yg mendalam..
cinta tak mungkin ku terima seandainya ia bukan miliku...
cinta tak mungkin ku cari andainya ku tak mengerti...
cinta itu indah...
penuh dgn kata2 manis yg memukau..
penuh dengan perasaan yg benar ikhlas
yg mengoda hati..
yg benar menusuk kalbu...
begitu asyik cinta ku rasakan..
begitu asyiknya memadu asmara..
bagikan bidadri yg secantik syurgawi..
akan ku semai cinta kehati
agar ia menjadi tahta di hati...
kini,akn ku berlari mencari cinta..
cinta yang suci murni...
yg dpt mengisi kekosongan dihati...
agar aku bahagia...
dengan si dia...
yang ku cinta...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:37 PM

tengok zul hati sejuk sey!alangkah hensem dan lembutnya wajah dieR! memikat ke kalbu hatiku ini!hhahah..can i marry u plz???mengarut ar yati kau!!giler eh? sseow...ei! he got a real touch look tau! aku nie kan suke tgk lelaki wajah yg memikat hati aku jer..bangsa once luk..u're addicted n stuck!tat's me!n i luv guys who smile... so Sweet of him!nk pi malaysia bleh??? cari kau zul? haha! once luk at u..aku terpikat! memikat sey...giler ar kau yati! merepek jer!haha! tk betul...atas nama cinta akan ku semi di hatiku ini... hey! besok kene keje pagi!ci rezeki lor..cube dulu mcm ner keje coffee club nie,kalo bagus,terukn..i guess my supervisor cynthia also dun want me animore ryte?? she want full timer,not part tymer...malay sumore! hmm....c how,if she say can..i stay lor..if not..i have to let go! pity me ryte?? haiz! sad sad...wtever..i noe wht best for me..n god noe where im gona end up soon..my interest cant be stop... tats what i want! c how it goes...then,go for it!sure get one... try first..no harm!aku da penat carik keje lah...mcm aku ckp..i need full tyme! tats it!i can always go back KFC if i want! as part tymer...hmmm... Sorie polar puff! i just try my luck on u that tyme coz i got no other choices! hmm..... well'c tomorow how it goes! Zul... i admire u..haha! giler ar yati! tgk dier je keje ko... im so soft hearted wen i saw ur face n smile kat tv pun jadilah zul... oh yar..,sejak akhir2 nie,si Yazid asik kol n msg jer..apsal ar??haha..dun get it wrong kay yati?? he just felt lonely..tats y he msg u...kalo tidak jgn harap ar! fren is fren... not more then tat..like i said b4...my heart now is close..if the person wants me,u can cum to me...find me but im not gona find luv!i feel the pain b4...i only have myself to take cr n luv!i had my family... well...NO MORE TRUE LUV.. im not gona find a guy for the sake of having a status of ATTaCHED! i just one to mit the true guy who can take care of me one day... who is he?? allah je yang tahu...:P

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:07 PM

oh God! i still thinking now which one to chose man! haiz.. mcm ner ar?date due nari malam tau! ish...eh ko tau lagu Tentang dia?? gerek..i like it!its a nice song from melly! the melody is so interesting,biaserlah,indon sey!mane nak lawan...lagu2 cinta dorg betulnye mendalam! bermakna sekali... haiyayay!how huh??? im totally blank man!i hate tis situation sey!ramai suruh amek coffeeclub...yesh! i wanted to tapi ryte,the Supervisor was hoping! how?? but my interest is in coffee.... i luv it!im from CBTL for 2 years+....i have to continue on coffee...tats my interest! coffee... dulu keje polar.ingat dapat market street...sekali??toa payoh dier tolak aku! haiz..sad eh? kesian aku kene campak terus sane sini! boring!i cant throw the chance away just like that..i have to be there...Coffee club!im luking forward to werk in coffee...takkan nak lepaskan mcm tuh jer tul?? haiz!if polar dont want me as part tyme,i got no choice but to leave. then extra money can get tru keje lain yg ade part tyme..haha! klah...nevermind! i had no choice but to leave kay? thanks my fren...name zamri... help me to solve too. nisa mane ilang eh?? konfem kuar dgn rashid jer...biarlah dier..orang berpunye!aku nie lainlah...solo lagik! klah... bye!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:18 AM

Today PUBLIC HOLIDaY..Vesak day!weekend is great for me! yesterday after werk at 2pm,aku balik la..nuthing else to do..no where to go n im tired!my legs were aching!well...im used to the pain!hmmm.. then i fast,pay it back.. i dunno left how many more days..i just puasa only!now including yesterday i have 14 days of puasa paid! macam annual leave pulak eh? hehehe..online MSn,tertido plak tuh, computer tengok aku ler,well..wake up n its already gona Azan.so ku pegilah siap2 untuk berbuka..breakfast. i just eat the food my mum get from maulud nabi at Masjid arabitah in the afternun.no so nice,haha tapi berkatkan eat jelah..then watch VCD the movie THE AMITYVILLE HORROR...oklah,the movie not so scary like the HOUSE OF WAX which is so damn violent!it is more to killing part mcm possess gitulah...kesian,pity them.Setan lah nie semua...if the evil hasut,abeslah.

Its almost one month i already quit from 7 eleven.Torturing,boring, sickening attitude from people n customers i supposed to say.they think,7 eleven is a bargain shop.wt the F**k??? u want cheap thing go Sheng siong there idiots?where got cheap things in singapore now! everywhere need money and even toilets need to give 10Cents or 20Cents okay? nothing in Singpore is Free!but after 1 month quiting,i still havent get my pay.lamanya..mampuz ar macam nie kan??? ish...if they tahan my pay?? how?? haiyoyoyo... then u see,in just two weeks i get 300+ from polar puff n pastries.. erm,how? u get paid $4.50 per hour.thts gud enuff for me,then getting 3.50 from 7 eleven when u werk like stupid hell down there! tiring n very idiotic man!!!! At the Same time when i try my luck on wednesday i get the Coffee club job..n its Full time,i cant go like that only what.i have to try first..whether it good or not good,just make it a try first yati.cuma,im having hedache chosing which one to take as my full time career..Cynthia my supervisor need me in that shop..but i wanted to try coffeeclub too...get full time,who dun want? errr.......i;'ve been looking for coffee club for ages...ahaha,no lah,few months back n now i get the chance..penat2 try,akhirnya segala titik peluh aku aku dpt keje ini. then takkan nk throw like that only yati? huh...??? i always get this type of sitution,im always in the middle, letting me think and think which one should i chose as my career.if u all were me, mybe u can c the differents,n its hard to chose which one u want..easy to Say but hard to make decisions.i always get stuck in the middle..
how? can help me? coffee club is my dream from last time,i've went to several outlets for interview n even recommended by my Fren Farhan from holland village coffee club outlet.but i still didnt get the opportunity to werk there u see..but then, now when i work polar,they give me coffee club.can said im the one in the wrong,too greedy to werk in two places..if i can divide myself into two pieces..tats great man! it will be the best in life..half body go polar,half body go coffeeclub..heheh! i dun want any position. as long as i get enuff money more then 1k to support myself n help family.Ina is gona be nurse,Mar polis Coast guard,Sulastri architect designer,Firah still schooling n i guess she gona werk under electronics jobs one day...me?? Fnb forever... how to maju?? but,its my interest man!! i noe the basic n noe what is best for me..my life n future. im so fickle minded! next time nk cari guy... i will be in the same situation i guess... 2-3 guys want me at one shot! choosing a life partner...is bout the same as chossing my career..coz we gona live with it until the rest of our live! in career,we need interest..fun environment,happy.. while in relationship,maried life i need sumone who can take good care of me n my life.sumone who luvs me for who i am..my attitude n my past experience.. hess gona be with me till the rest of my entire life.. sumone who understnds my needs,what i want,what i adore.. endure,what makes me happy,understanding,and luv me....not like my past experiences.. with that idiotic fucker guy! i hate him! hope ur happy with ur future gal who makes u mad.. like i said b4,tuhan tu maha adil.. kalau tidak di dunia,di akhirat kau tetap akan dapat balasannyer..so lets c in the future kay?? i wanna c how u survive... liars!hypocrite man! 4 years...my heart had been deeply hurt n its hard 4 me to cure the pain...but i managed to get over him bit by bit..thinking all the stupid things he done to me, i never realise for years...hoping him to be mine like fool! who cares now..i dun care,im still young n got a long way to survive..
i belief thee is sum1 out there 4 me...n u?? the wrrong feller i have to met b4 i met the ryte man who luvs me! ryte?? the time will come yati...just concentrate on your job first.. luv will come naturally.. sure..one fine day! guys i noe from net like faizal,Zamri,Yus,Yazid n fuad are all gud frens... thanks 4 giving me sum gud advice my fren! i luv u all... thats what frens are for... thnks for not stopping giving me gud advice.. cuma now,Fuad ilang dalam saat aku perlukan advice dier.. haiz! hes a great fren n brother to me too..where r u my dear fren?? i need u but u are far from me...u muz be happy with ur wife now..guess u get married already ryte?? haiz.... i mis all my guy fren from ite too...kenapa kene jumpe orang tu sementara je eh?? haiz....Boring ar mcm nie! nari off..tak pi mane2,maybe pi kedai i need rest.still thinking which one to chose...im ConFuSED!!!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:46 AM

Monday, May 23, 2005

moNey isN't Everything....

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:47 PM

The PerfecT ChilD

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:30 PM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Duit?? Duit dimana kau duit? wahahaha...kalaulah duit tuh jatuh dari langit! yuuhhhooo.....eh! ko tau..im gona werk both lah..polar n Coffee club coz,i need to find money..taRget aku 1 mth boleh bawak balik 1000 +....hopefully so i can kip the money to achieve all my DReams...malaysia??? here i cum aite?? dun worie!haha,well, money is everything!got money can buy anything i want!can go anywhere too.. hmm....well! im gona werk all the way!no more luv n no more like last tym!im scared to fall in luv like dulu...its better not to find guys.let them find me if they really wants me! full stop....
never trust guys too....hypocrites! liars... i noe not all guys are like that but im serius!!my heart is locked n the key to open it is only for sum1 who really luv,apprecite n like me for who i am... if u luv me...u're serius,im gona luv u too n gona open my heart.... but to trust u..its hard! definitely... i can be nice to u...can be nasty too...only god will noe who my jodoh is! i suffer so much in four years n its such a waste of tyme! now..im still luking for my soulmate... my soul partner who will understand me...who can take gud care of me n especially my heart! a Serius one who can be my life partner n husband! my heart is so sensitive! hahahah...
so far....no one coz wt i noe..i live it to god wills..im happy with my life now with my frens around me too... my job..money,family n god is important..thats it!

just came back actully from civil service club...at Ite br punye depan tadik!then we go eat at beach road n then go watch HOuSE OF WAX dgn dorg..kate Free..rizal matair las kasi masuk per!2nd tyme watching..kali nie dgn kwn2 yg aku sayang! kelakar tgk gelagat si mar...taktau duk diam sey! i mit mar just now...da lama tak mit dier...i really mis her,ina,las,zahid...haiz! can i go pass back to my ite tymes??? hmmpphh...where i met my classmates??mahmud,eric,ibrahim all? then ina pulak takut jugak...yg kau hanya senyum n C them..i luv terrifying movies! very challenging n exciting man! i luv it...u imagine ur people surounding u are waX!!! haiayayayya! i luv u all my frens........hope to mit u all one day again!yazid msg,ingat tk msg tadik! aku pun bz sey...penat ar! tapi da biaser per...! si Zamri nie mesti keje tau! msn tk reply!hahaha.. hey! can i mke u both my close fren?? hmm... mcm aku dgn mahmud dulu... gerek sey! haiz... feel sum1 missing siah...but i dun need him already.. i need fren jer.. u SharuL can go fuck oFf!! gud nyte then...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:03 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

aku keje Tadi,penat but wt to do..becos of money aku sanggup buat pe je asalkan keje tu halal...maksud aku asalkan aku tk buat yg tak senonoh unless terpaksa mcm tkde keje lain ar like sum people or gals did..but im not gona do it!hopefully.. eh,im hapi with my life now sey! great,aku dapat bergembira dgn kawan2 aku semua!skrg tgh chat dgn yus...kwn aku yg kenal kat Am i tink..duno where i noe him! ramai sgt kawan aku nie..ehehe! mcm2 orang..nari si Zamri pi Jb.. malam2 buta..dier kan on leave skrg,si mat indon..Binatang plastik nama jon pun nk ord soon..bulan 8 ar! all the guardsmen!including rashid kekasih mona! Si jantan teban tuh next mth,.but i dun care already bout him! say sorie...n sorie kay??hate him to the core! no more luv man!well.....its easy to say sorie but u c... im the one who suffers!dgr lagu nurul tiada kali kedua nie..ish! sedih siak! haiayayaya! its my story man! well...only the last part im gona prove it one day to tat teban slut! Fuck off lah... pedih hati aku kau mane tahu! i believe tat wat happen now is a test... n i noe one day sumthing will happen! he cant only go off easily ryte?? biarlah...tuhan tu adil....i've move on now...no worries! i hate ur guts S***** N****!!! i got new frens around me...for what i c u Ryte??tadi tok to yazid again..haha!kelakar ah dektuh..cute sey! heheh...

Tomorow going out with my ite ex clasmates!yahoo........bestnyer..tk sabar ar!mar,ina,las,jieying,zahid..,mahmud?? dunnoe! ryte now..i miss my old fens...Fuad from am! mahmud n eric...ramai lagik!! hmmmpphh... dunnoe lah...! hope to c them 1 day! k ar....i wanna slip.. doze off..later keje at 11-6..bye!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:49 PM

mampoz!!ini blog tulis bahasa ape siak?semua square2 jer..hahaha! ei...korang tau! akunye msn tkleh masuk!Fuck man! binget sey..dhlah Freindster tkleh..msn tkleh! ape lagi lepas nie??anak melayu eh?? eeeee....geram ah aku!aku bayar tau!tapi.... sad ar mcm nie! semlm aku penat tak tulis blog ku ar..ehehe! ape tk..kaki sakit,afternun smlm kuar dgn mak aku pi town.taka tgk beg yang dier nak ler..then mkn kat puncak mi goreng dier pedas siul..best!favourite! btw.. yazid kol aku lagik mlmnyer...alah..lelaki biaserlah...ns guy nie kn sunyi..so they will find tyme to msg gals! ko tengok dulu si sharul tuh..tyme ns ku jelah..lepas ns ish...ko tengok! sial nye bukan main! da dapat matir kan..3 bulan lebih tk bilang aku pun!n u did play around with my feelings even u noe how i feel towards u tat tym! i forgive u but neva forget..remember...allah maha adil, jika ditakdirkAn kau dgn dier tk bahagia,itu kehendak nyer... ku berdoa agar kau sedar kesalahan kau satu hari nanti.tats it man! dun find me anymore aite?? luv her n take care of her...dun be like me! pervert! APE perasaan kau eh biler kau nk main dgn tu pompan ku teringat aku ke?? eee....... then,lelaki mcm kau yg kuat sex! main sane sini? sampai aku pun terjerat! dan kau tinggalkan dan lepaskan aku mcm tuh jer?? lepas tangan sharul?? jantan sialkAN KAU?? well,we'll c one fine day.. wats gona happen to u aite?? dun eva find me n cum back to me coz my feeling for u is totally shut down n i wont want u back! get it?? theres sum1 out there 4 me im sure...

oh yar..im stuck now!! got two choice! wether to take polar or Coffee club as full tym or part tyme!!i luv both man! haiz...i wont throw both..rezeki aku tetap ader..allah! help me plz to choose!! haiz!! i need money n need to enjoy myself... n i alwaays wanted to kip myself bz..lets c then! bye!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:10 AM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

memories of today...

hey,today many things happen to me!greatday exactly..but it too frustating!early morn i get sharul msg.. 12.37 saying hes Attach! then in the afternun,i went to taka for inteview at kinokuniya Coffee club..trying my luck!the Supevisor so Small size like me huh?
chinese gal of my age too....then,oh yar! i go paragon... sekali eh! tis nbr kol me...n guess wat??i get the job at coffee club as full tymer!yeshlah....yahhoo...yabeedabeedoo... great man! im happi n its my luck man! thanks to faRhan too...ask me to try the job there.. then kan...aku sempat beli aiskrim!aku pegi paragon ler after tat take my copy of typhoid jab!...fo 3 years valid man! erm... sad to say have to pay $5 dolar man!hHahah..dari kene amek jab lagi..baik amek nie free...weehhee! dulukn keje tcc punyer...erm nasib kawan tcc maseh ade.....then,i go gym kat bukit gombak! exercise..da lama tk pi n the place change a lot man..dunno ,the lst tym mar yang bawak aku pi per..!tapi gerek ar..baru 2.50 sey!n i spent like 1 and the half hour there! best!! aku luper...on my way home sumthing happen!sumthing bad...very bad...i took mrt with my wallet at bukit gombak...taktau pe aku hayalkan terus wen turun admiralty akunye wallet ilang siul!!wat the hell...i dunno siah..feel like crying...i then make repot at mrt and also kat polis stn...i did kol my mum too..!!dlm ade ic semua siak...skali after i reach home...my mum said...ade orang cina pompan..lady nie anta akunyer wallet! ya allah...bersyukur aku hendaknya pada allah taalah..amin ya rabal alamin!ish..memory siAk..rezeki AKU ADER!maybe tis is a lesson in life...! must be careful nx tyme n not to lawan cakap mak aku! haiz...ehehhee

erm...Tadikan,yazid msg n kol aku! mis him man! bulan august balik!
i got 3 mths to prepared..pasal si zamri dier pun ok gak... well,mcm aku ckp,ini semua kwn ar...nothing special.. i dun trust i mean guys n i learn it from e past tym ago...! well,u noe once my heart broken its hard to cure..but i am strong enuff!i am! rahmatnya dari tuhan...
hope to mit them too nanti...mum,im sorie 4 wat i've done! i luv u my mum,dad,brothers!! lupe nak ckp..lt week mothers day along ear get caught by beetle...go doctor n hospital to take it out! klah..i wish u all sihat aite!n u noe wat.... im gona be a kopi gerl again! Orchard here i cum!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:03 PM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Everything have ended!! yesh!! he tell me the truth already...after all the past ting happen to me...he tell jugak wen i msg him tadi..! he seek forgiveness from me siah...i just said, "oh ok..u jagalah dier baik kay?jangan jadi mcm yati kay sharul?? hahahha.... he said,"ok,im reali sorie yati,will u forgive me??" i never repli...
he said.. "takpelah,i noe its hard for u to forgive me after all the
things i've done to u,i felt bad bout it,im veri veri sori.." i didnt repli again! hahha..wateva kay sharul?? im not gona waste my tym on u alredy...fuck off!! lets c people hows his love life gona be kay??ended up u get married or not aite? dosa kau tetap ader.. jangan ingat kau lepas mcm tuh jer,one day i'll show u i get sum1 who loves me more the eva!n i will succeed in life! we'll c kay?...i dun mind at all! u feel guilty?? hahaha,up to u! i never regret..but i learn sumthing!u're pest in my life! if u cums back to me, who cres..i dun need u at all! apepun,aku da lama da maafkan kau.cume....aku takkan luper! better tke note! u hurt me..if one day u get hurt... u will noe how i feel ky?? hanya tuhan yg tahu!gtg..nyte!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:43 PM

eh! melati sape siak??tinggal bedok! hmm...hahahha..mcm melati Desa!ingat?? konfem nie melati jambu abes..hahaha! weeekkk...aku kacau dier ckp aku nie FIZAH hahah! member ckp aku prank n joking with him! padan muka dier!! pi mampoz....biarlah eh...i dun give a damn on tis...who cares about u now???u wanna avoid me..there u goes..! hhahha..Sluts! tadi YaZID msg aku! he mis me?? ye ke yazid?? heheh,bulan august kite mit kay?? ahakz.... beh mcm ner dgn Zamri?? dier pon ok gak.rajin keje! hmm.... lah,biarlah dorg..they r just frenns!! my heart nie...mcm kene kunci seh..susah tau nk bukak! no one can open...haiz! boring ar!single is always better then eva.. wei... i today go werk,have to lah..coz my Supervisor yg Super nie MC! eheheh..kesian,hmm! pegi JP terus sakit sey!alalalala..hehehe! u noe,morning i woke up my eyes swollen like wat! becos i cry yesterday mah..cry becos of my mum...! argghh shit! watevalah..aku malaz ar skrg..esok mau carik keja,keja keja..kay?? bubyyee.....

P/s:bdae tomok!hahhha...cinta dulu2...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:34 PM

Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects.
You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details.
Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible.

Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show.
This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible.
In friendships you are very cautious and reserved.
You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.

NORHAYATI
N is for Nerdy
O is for Odd
R is for Radiant
H is for Hyper
A is for Active
Y is for Young
A is for Artistic
T is for Terrific
I is for Influential

Dreaming and introspective, you're often lost in your thoughts.
Which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome.

And while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure.
People often handle you more delicately than they need to.

You love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich."
Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:28 PM

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:14 PM

Your #1 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: ESTP

The Doer

You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second.
You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown.
Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor.
You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you.

You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's Your Personality Type?

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:00 AM

For the 1st tyme..i Cry..Cry n cry non stop..i Quarel With my mum..
aku tu aku dosa..aku lawan cakap dier but im not Wrong!im telling the truth! im a daughter man!who Shud gif money?? along,angah kan?? knape aku yang kau marah??kalau gaji aku besar takpe,nie baru brape jer..500 one mth! u imagine..i've been living with 500 a mth for almost 1 year!! i pay bills(4 bills)...i buy new handphone,new clothes,new shoes,new books,new skirts,shirt,bags all my own money..i never ask my brother!not a single cent they give me kay??plz...NO! NO! NO! No! u c...u understand y i need job now???now im going to werk at polar n find nother job 4 myself..biar aku keje keras asalkan aku dpt ape aku nak!.....n im going to Study at malaysia wen i got enuff money! Sure! i will! after all tis happen..im really sad...y cant i live in peace???ya allah....bantulah aku! kau saje yg maha kuasa! kuatkan lah iman ku! berilh ku petunjuk tuhanku!!! hidayah darimu..amin!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:35 AM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Iman adalah mutiara
Di dalam hati manusia
Yang meyakini Allah
Maha Esa, Maha Kuasa
Tanpamu iman bagaimanalah
Merasa diri hamba padaNya
Tanpamu iman bagaimanalah
Menjadi hamba Allah yang bertaqwa

Iman tak dapat diwarisi
Dari seorang ayah yang bertaqwa
Ia tak dapat dijual-beli
Ia tiada di tepian pantai
Walau apapun caranya jua
Engkau mendaki gunung yang tinggi
Engkau berentas lautan api
Namun tak dapat jua dimiliki
Jika tidak kembali pada Allah

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:48 PM

hey blog! im here...again!how r u dear? ehehhee,well,today im normal..enjoying life still.. i woke up early in the morning!wash up and then,siap2 pack my things go East coast for a walk n exercise!yippie!i went there took bus number 168 from wdls interchange..then turun bedok i took bus nbr 196,yg kelakarnya,aku terlajak!hahaha funny siah! i suppose to turun at the bus stop way before the maRine parade..but aku so smart mah..hahaha!turun kat parkway parade lagik! then i walk all the way to the Bridge,weehhee!kaki aku exercise abis! wakakkaka...funny! haiz...then wen i reach east cost i walk all the way to the end..standing by facing the beach on my right!i go there first,then duduk kat meja nie aku tgk laut..aku renung laut...aku kenang "dier"! then... after like half n hour i walk all the way to the other side..saw tents..couples all over..! de yg mandi dlm itu lautan dlm..berjiwang! aku berjiwang mmelihat ombak laut yg memukul pantai!chewah.... then..i walk over to the places i saw khai n fadz n azza,where i first tym met them! then aku pegi CBTL beli air..duk dlm n hour ar baca buku n releks again! saw tis man..dlm 30+ ar,ade dier aku ade wireless broadband tak? aku ckp ade ar..staff tanak tanye,tanye aku!tyme aku balik pun senyum kt aku.. but takleh ar chalen senyuman ZUL!!!! i like him! hes too hansem n sweet! lembut n cair tgk muka zul ar! korang mane tau! aku nk pi KL,aku nak cari dier! mati matian..hahaha! giler siak yati!hes so damn....sweet man! hish.... aku jatuh hati pada lelaki yang bernama Zulhuzaimi Marzuki...From drama "Atas nama cinta".... heheh!

then kan...aku pegi balik naik 16 go to city hall..mit leenah! then we go jalan2..kt raffles city..Dier beli sandal kt M[phosis dgn necklace moonstone! dunno..i heard the stone brings luck! watever lah..yg penting aku hanya percaya allah! then....i go.. esplanade nyer kedai ade keje kosong so i try to ask ar..hehe! leave contek nbr then they will kol..1 HR $5 sey..not bad eh! erm... kalau dpt,ari2 tgk laut aku! hahaaa...ok pe! i like! eh yar..then i nit sulstri kt Queensway shopping centre where she werk in one of the building opposite the shopping ctre.....kite tak masuk..kite jumpe kt luar..then leenah amek perfume dier lar...so i go bck with ls take 195 towards mrt Queenstown!then we chat...trus aku alik... tym balik nak on ini computer internet..skali kene cut!wat the hell...
i go pay..pi Sembawang mrt dier nyer ntuc ade mesin deposit rosak! so i go yishun ar..dekat.then i pay! haha..lucky me! ok ar tuh.... then i rush home cos wanna watch Zul at tv1..! hehe..tat my part of e day today! boring ar..kaki pun sakit jalan2 tadik! i got no money lei!!! how????????? klah...blog u 2morow..!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:15 PM

Monday, May 16, 2005

guess wat..i get Toa payoh outlet...hmm! boring but wat to do ryte?
hmm,i gues i wanna find a suitable job liao..i msg Christine.. bout which outlet im going to,whether following her or not to market street.,but then she said i werk at toa payoh lah.haiz! sob sob!
i shud go find ofis job soon lai..then polar i werk part tyme only better!haiz! so boring ar..public holiday also same pay unless i full tymer lor...wateva it is..tomorow im going to luk 4 full tym job again in other lines...takkan foreva nk keje sini?? mcm nisa ckp? tkde career siul mcm nie!!!aggh........christine pun satu,da tentu dier amek aku jadi staff she put me other places! da nasib aku mcm nie! ape bleh buat kan???keje lah je dulu...haiz!!! bosan bosan bosan! life so boring man! until wen shud i be tis way?? argggghh... ape apelah kay?besok monday..start of new day then...go find werk better! haiz!then u noe wat,surt ICA baru datang lepas 4 bulan aku mintak! "sorry/Regret to inform u that u're unable for the position u want!" fuck off man!!! well..below are sum werds from Sis a'idah..catch her werds from anak melayu!

" Everyone tells you what you are doing wrong but never thanks you for doing what's right. You've got to keep the ball rolling and have faith in yourself."

" It is better to lose a hard fought battle, than avoid a battle because it is too hard to fight."

" Everyday I am faced with challenges and I accept those challenges, no matter how tough the reality of my life is. I can take it because I believe in me and know that I can do what I set my mind to do."

" I believe that there is a light that burns within each of us. We each have the power within ourselves to choose to use the positive energy, which surrounds us daily, to keep our fires burning brightly! This positive energy will always be the fuel that drives us and others, through the storms of life, onto our ultimate desired destiny.."

P/s- Yazid go to Brunei Already..gud luck to u frenn,dun 4get me aite! weehhee!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:38 AM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Kau tahu tak??sekarang hati aku nie semacm dicucuk sesuatu..aku rindu kan belaian die..Seperti kaca yg berderai,luke berdarah jika kite memegangnyer..luka yg amat parah,sudah pecah tk boleh digunakan..aku tk dpt nafikan!aku terpaksa melayari bahtera yg penuh dgn ombak dan terpaksa melaluinya demi menuju ke tempat seterusnya..pelayaran aku baru saje bermula..sipi-sipi sekali.laut yg terbentang itu..akan aku layari perlahan-perlahan...
seorang diri tanpa siapa disisi...pasti ade saje mAsalah dipertengahan jalan...bulan lepas aku telah mulakan,tapi gagal..aku berpatah balik sekejap namun tetap hajatku untuk memilikinya tidak kesampaian...dier makin pergi jauh..jauh dari aku..kenapa???ape yg aku telah lakukan?? kau jauh sekali,terlalu jauh sehingga tak tercapai olehku. kali ini,aku akan cuba terus melayari bahtera lautan dgn penuh kekecewaan...tk tahu berapa lama pelayaran itu...mungkin satu bulan,2,3,6,dan 1 tahun seterusnya???aku tk tahu,haiz...aku sedih sekali!biarlah aku berhenti di tengah jalan asalkan aku tidak perpatah balik ke negeri asal itu...biar pun pedih dan perit,aku pasti aku akan tetap sampai ke negeri baru itu dgn selamatnya...aku yakin! biarlah aku sedih dan kecewa sekrg dari sesal di kemudian hari... SHARUL!! I HATE U.........!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:21 AM

kau pergi jauh..
jauh dari sudut hatiku ini..
kenapa harus kau pergi sayang??
sedangkan aku di sini menanti??
kaU berubah sekelip mata
meninggalkan aku sendiri...
setelah aku kau nodai...
kau lemparkan aku jauh dari sudut hatimu..
kenapa??? kenapa sayang??
apa dosaku?
sehingga kau jauhkan diri dariku??
aku redha...
aku tau...
kau hanya inginkan keindahan...
ku berpura-pura dan kini ku tingglkan ku sendiri..
bila saat ku perlukan mu..
dlm dakapan ku...
aku kau tinggalkan...
pergilah sayang...
pergilah....
jangan kau kembali lagi...
kerna...tak mungkin kasihku akan berputik kembali..
hanya untukmu...
akan aku padamkan ingatan ku padamu...
nun jauh disana....
agar kau tk dpt capai...
terima kasih atas segalanya...
biarlah ku undurkn diri...
kerna luka dihati ini...
teramat pedih sekali...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:24 AM

Saturday, May 14, 2005

So sweet of me..weehhee..perasan!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:53 PM

tadi ina cant make it..so i go alone!haiz..boring! her mum bebel...ckp.. "asik ko off je ko kuar dgn yati..yati yati!!! merayap je kau!" padahal eh,tak pun tau!da lama pun tk kuar dgn ina..haiz! wateva...i miz mar n firah too....wen can u guys meet me??agghh....
oh ya,then i go to Esplande myself..duk2 tenangkan pikiran..u noelah,tats my usual place where i always go...just to release my tension,my problems all...ahakz...! tau aku kuar dgn si yazid tu,haha,bdk am ar..dier pon nk pi brunei soon..bye bye my fren.,take cr! weehheee...,nice noeing u..

well,i just find sum reasons for myself to change..sharul?? y u change so badly??we r not like last tym..the first tyme we noe tru mirc...u really change a lot.. i hate tis man!tkpelah..aku tkleh buat apepun..one day u will find me ryte?? tat tym i da lupe u dah sharul..n i noe one day my luv 4 u will never mend to be n it will fade away...aku dgr nisa ckp yg Sharul da amek leave..tu pun rashid ckp..nak ord katekan..haha! but,i dun care,untuk ape??dier tak ingat aku pun..dier tak penah kisahkan aku nie,aku je mcm orang gile nak mampoz suke dier mcm nak rak! plz give me sum1 who luv me god.. who appreciate my luv n luv me for who i am..can i have sum1 out there?? alah..guys...ego je lebih mcm sharul.,bleh blah ar! ish,aku ckp gini apsal??sebab sharul kan?ntahlah...i dunnoe,i hte the feeling like tis! but i noe,i will 4get u n wat past i past... lets c... haiz..bosan ar!hidup nie susah sangat...besok keje..ptg lak tuh! mendak one confem! then..alah! ntah eh..heheh! tadi paki tudung lagik..i feel like wearing per,i wear lor,muy mum belikan skirt biru kt this fashion sembawang!jumpe mr ibrahim kt 7 eleven dier tade,dgn kuasa tuhan terjumpe dier kat tangga sun plaza...tym balik! he say he will submit my pay!wateva!..lawa sey..i like! kalau ade matair,bleh dier beli.. tapi kalau dier beli..haha,aku pun tak perlukan ape2 yg penting dier syg aku jer! alah,one day,i will met tat person kay? insyallah... k lah..gtg!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:33 PM

hari ini aku sedar yg kehidupan ini hanya sementara..kita harus yakin dgn diri sendiri..tak perlu dengar kata-kata orang.hidup ini penuh dengn kata2 yg menyakitkan hati..to me,god is always there 4 me wen im in need..i realli apprecite it!i believe in god,tuhan Allah Swt sahaja..tiada yg lagi benar melainkan tuhan ku yg esa.
Sejak semalam...aku percaya pada diri aku sendiri,aku yakin aku boleh buat..aku akan tabah mengharungi segala yg allah telah berikan padaku..aku tk mahu dengar kat orang,mengumpat pasal orang semua...pe ade??selama nie,aku dengar orang kata macam2 tentang aku,aku sedar,sampai ade yang kata aku nie binatang???namun,suke hati korang nak ckp ape pasal aku kay?aku hnya hidup dengn car ku sendiri dan kehidupan ku yg sederhana.insyallah...menjelng usiaku yg ke 21 ini,aku akan melakukan perintah tuhan yg sepatutnya aku lakukan..aku redha dgn tuhan yg telah memberi dan aku hanya mampu menerima.ya allah,aku benar benar bersyukur kerana telah diberi masa untuk bertaubat kepada tuhan,aku bersyukur kerana aku masih hidup hari ini.atas kuasa allah yg telah menjadikan aku ke muka bumi ini...
hari ini aku hidup..berdiri di bumi yg nyata..atas kuasa tuhan! aku juga maseh boleh mencari apa yg aku cari di dunia ini..tk perlu kita kata esok kerana tak mungkin esok kita akan hidup..siapa tahu dgn kuasa allah esok kita akan kembali ke tangan tuhan...jadi lakukan dna carilah ape yg kita inginkan sekarang..hari ini..bukan esok..lusa.. kite mesti tabah dan berani dgn kehidupan,di akhirat nanti kita pun sorg juga..takde siap disisi,semunya kit tinggalkan,kejarlah amalan dan kejarlah apa yg kita inginkan sekrg..kerana esok tak mungkin ada...buanglah segala hasad dengki di hati kerana ia tidak elok,tidak mendatangkan feadah langsung...kita harus berani menempuh dugaan dan berani menerima segala masaalah! aku yakin,suatu hari,aku akan menerima ganjaran yg bermakna dari tuhan allah swt...amin ya rabbal alamin...!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:13 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005

aku keje pagi,kul 7-2 then aku balik terus singgah lah yishun..beli starbucks Coffee frap to be awake!u noe,i need coffee ryte! its a must for me!then go cold storage buy sum stuff ..i was online with firah today,sending her songs n chat with her too..after while i eat mee soto tat i bought from Bedok yesterday..wahlau weh! queue panjang beb!erm,pedas ar,bleh tahan!then i watch VCD dgn angah,cerita "tentang dia"! erm,cerita sedih seh!u noe,sum indonesia movies are great!u remember ada apa dgn cinta??best!tak jemu dan jelek dong!wen i c tat movie,im more brave in finding my own self...my own track in life!the path i shud follow is there n i just have to make n lead the way...ouch!i found a solution to my story!yet,im trying my best!tomorow im going to have my mind set happy tenang n will be very fine! i noe its hard but wat for kenang perkara yg dah lepaskan??go with a new way...im sure theres sum1 out there who will be urs one day n sum1 who can appreciate ur luv thoroughly...n u will be happy with tat sum1..

Cinta itu akan datang dan pergi...kematian akan kite tempuhi tak lama lagi...kenapa harus bersusah payah mengenang seseorg yg tak mengenangi susah payah.. kenapa mesti menyintai orang yg tak menyintai kita?kenap harus menanti sedangkan dier tk pernah peduli?kenapa harus menunggu sedangkan dier tk pernah mahu??kenapa harus berdepan dgnnya sedangkan masalahnya boleh diselesaikan??kenapa harus mengharap sedangkan dier tk pernah memberi??kenapa yati?? kenapa nak menyusahkan diri sedangkan jalan keluar luas terbentang??takde guneyer...biarkan ia berlalu...yg pasti dua perkara yg amat besar di dalam hidup ini ialah Cinta dan Kematian...cinta di dunia..kematian menanti didepan menuju ke akhirat...hmm.. im ok now! thanks to the movie "TEntang dia!"

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:56 PM

Marah bukan sifatku

Ku tidak pernah meminta mu
Untuk mengasihi ku
Dan apatah lagi mengasihani ku
Juga tidak sama sekali

Kusedar sebenarnya kita tiada pertalian
Cuma satu arah serta satu tujuan
Mencari keberkatan-Nya
Aku terkenangkan
Saat manis dulu
Tak pernah kau meninggi suara
Bila bertanya
Keras hanyalah luaranku
Lembut tetap di dalam hati
Marah habis setakat itu
Tak kubiar berpanjangan

Biar aku berdiam diri
Dengan hati yang remuk redam
Kau tak usah lagi bertanya
Tak ku bersuara
Aku masih mampu tersenyum
Walau hati terluka
Mungkin hari ini duka untuk aku
Esok belum tentu

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:39 AM

Puas aku fikirkan
Masih dalam samaran
Apakah semuanya
Tanpa penjelasannya
Telah aku korbankan
Cuma hanya untuk mu sorang
Kesetiannku tidak kau hargakan
Sedihnya
Kini tiba masanya sayang
Aku akan mengatur langkah
Biarlah semuanya kita tinggal
Hanyalah buat sejarah

Masih ku ingat dan terkenang
Percintaan yang penuh makna
Terlalu banyak aku memendam rasa
Selamat tinggal kasih
Selamat tinggal sayang
Tak ingin sejarah cinta berulang
Luka masih terasa duhai sayang
Selamat tinggal kasih
Selamat tinggal sayang
Ku rela andai hatiku terluka
Rindu pasti bertamu duhai sayang

Puas aku fikirkan
Masih dalam samaran
kesetiaanku tidak kau hargakan
Sedihnya...
Sedihnya...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:20 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Yg sudah tu sudaH,biarkan ia berllu pergi..jadi memori kenangan di hati..nanti kan akhirt yg bakal tiba tak lama lagi..nantikan malaikat Israfil meniup sangkakala dari perintah tuhan(Allah) yg esa...pedih hati ini tk siapa yg tanggung!hanya aku saja...amln di dunia yg dipertimbangkan di akhirat...dosa di dunia memasukkan kite ke neraka di akhirat!haiz...Sad!

ShaRul..?y must i tink of u again??y huh?? last month i forget u..tis month u were in my mind back!haiz...arrggghh...wateva! its almost a week i dun even hear ur story!im fine with it...im ok... but i do totally mis u guy!! errrkkk...wt am i saying huh??i noe i cant denied tis...but im still not moving on man!plz yati..go on! no point loving him! stressssssss!!!!

oh yar..i just went back from bedok with mum jalan2..penat sey!ish..esok keje lagik!tapi so far ok lah keje aku...its fine..n im hapi..just i dunnoe which outlet im gona stay with!just now Chritine cum n visit me..she said the new outlet at Market sTreet gona open soon tis cuming monday-16th of May!!erm..then si Cynthia pulak need me also!let c then...cos she need malay! berebut lah korang..aku cume ade satu jer!hahahahha....oh yar..7 eleven really makes me angry...i hate it man!dier ckp..aku binatang??ewah..sedap mulut kau pakcik ibrahim!aku nk dtg last week ko ckp tk payah!fuck man! u tink i wat?? permainan per??tis are the problems with malays....u c?? pandai mengata orang..diri sendiri lum tentu betul..wt eva u wanna say? u said behind me..god noes..kau yg bertanggungjawab.. i give up!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:24 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Wat the Fuck siah! arrggghh...Bingetnyer!Geram siah..mane leh tahan gaji sembarangan nie!!!ish...cibai! errrrrr.....kalau da melayu melayu jugak lah!ah...pi mampoz ar...ko ingat aku takut pe??aku tak takut ar pakcik Ibrahim..! i have my dad to said to u!its up to u to hate me or not! i dun give a damn! pi jalan ar...Fuck!!!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:03 PM

how i wish i could be urs..
holding u ur hands...
hug u wen i need a pillow
kiss u wen i need ur wet lips..
touch u hold it tight
not letting u go at all....
take time off just to spent my tym with u...
every hour Single minute...
every day and nyte
i need u desperately by my side...
need ur care n touch..
ur lips ur hands ur body to lean on!
i miss u baby..
mis u always...
~Mmuaakksss~

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:29 PM

So I sell with your sentence
Im going all the way to live by my world
Im staying to be the slave in your illusion
Part of me you never know
Then I cry giving up everything
I leave you falling with your every comes
It’s a pain to see trying to see
Your hold that before around me endlessly
I wont let you drown in your falling that before comes
Im fighting to leave my pillow
To forget another night dreaming without you
There I sang upon your very night
For realizing hardship to taste a love of yours
Im poor to pour your needs
Like you always swim underneath remoursefullness
I struggle to pull you before drown
To let you catch the same air as mine

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:13 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

~Tunduk mengalah... Data~

Aku layarkan perkhabaran
Buatmu yang pernah kusayang
Bukan maksud hati mengulangi
Segala yang telah pun berlalu pergi
Bagiku yang sudah biarlah

Pergiku tunduk mengalah
Biarkan semalam menjadi sejarah
Yang manis kukenang berpanjangan
Pahit tak perlu usah disimpan
Biarkan berlalu, Impianku
Karam hanyut dibawa arus waktu

( korus )
Oh... engkau yang tak pernah tahu
Betapa lukanya hatiku, diatas sikapmu dahulu
Membuatkan aku seperti tak wujud di sisi
oh... engkau tak pernah hargai
Susah payah kutempuhi
Pengorbanan demi pengorbanan terbakar sendirian
Ku umpama dian menyinari malam... kegelapan

Lalu ku undurkan diri kerna tak sanggup lagi
Melihat dirimu kasih telah ditawan oleh insan lain
Hingga kurasakan tersisih
Bukan kumenaruh dendam hiba atas segala duka dan lara
Malah kupercaya semua ini
Mungkin ada rahmat yang tersendiri

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:01 PM

lONeLy,im so lonely...i had nobody..i on my own..!!! akon punye lagu! tis cute boy mcm chipmunk sey suara!so cute..ahakz...! dulu kecik2 suke tgk crite chipmunk tau!u noe the song Tunduk mengalah... from data? sedap lagu dier,mcm untuk aku jugak ar lagu tuh!nanti aku copy lirik dier kay?data pun suara sedap,i luv guys songs..cos all got meaning!lagu lma2,jiwng ke pop yeh yeh ker,ape2 ar ko tembak kt aku..i confem luv it man!ehehe..its been almost 4 daes sharul never msg me at all..its gud,i wanna c,if he find me,u noelah,pasal boring n aku jadi mangsa dier..watevalah sharul..i noe i did many wrong things..i got no ryte to luv n tink of u at all!i dun have anything..
but im thankful to god 4 miting us..thats all!i noe wat im doing is all wrong..i dun deserve u at all..i noe! i hate u man...haiz! y must i fell tis way????y shud i luv u then wen u dun even luv me??aku sedih..pasrah hati nie mengenangkan kau..kau ade yg lain kan??kenapa tanak terus terang jer sharul??tell me can?im ready to hear it from u,...~UR OWN MOUTH~ eerm... boring ar..asik dier jer.. takde orang lain eh?? boleh giler siak dier jer...give me sumone new can god??haiz...bosan!

tadi i go jb...mat jb tgk semcm siak...mcm tk penah nampak org plak! aku korek bijik mata korg nanti baru tau!hahhaha...hehe!sini anuh murtabak tgk aku..aku cungkil siak mata kau!kalau aku nie jambu takpe!nie,jambu batu jer..hehehe! boring ar!eh..aku nie asik boring jer...haiz! ape bleh buat?? life! bored lah...nothing new in my life everyday man!pppssstt..the mat jb yg kt kedai larkin tu boleh thn teruk!ehehee..but u 19..i 21 lah brother!i bought a vondutch bag just now..my mum ask me to buy use mak Ngah money!then i bought the tudung scarf tat i want!finally.i found it!k gtg..tomorow werk toa payoh!bye!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:18 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

oh ya...Finally its the end of the day..weehhee! i luv it mn..there mondays cum again...start off new day n week again...besok 9th of May cepatnyer masa berlalu eh..haiz!da 1 minggu aku keje polar..not bad...ok ok lah..hehe! im hapi but..the pay not reali hapi! but,wt to do ...i need money to survive man! no money no talk..no money no things to buy,cnt pay bills..tis n dat mah..ehehehee! erm... mcm ner?? uh uh..esok off day again!yeshlah! great! im luvin it! aku nak puasa ar esok..nk byr balik..last mth aku bayar 10,tis mth kene bayar lagi 15 hehehe..can or not yati??can...3 weeks straight im gona try to pay! erk.. shud i join polar full tym or not?? dunnoe leh! but i got plans...btw..tdi abby dtg keje amek tix GV ar! she buy from me..then Leenah pun ade jugak dtg..hehe! saw her with her mum n sis...well,hapi mothers day 2 all mum!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:56 PM

Hey,So tired! Today is mother's day..to me everyday mother's day mah!
i gave her flower tat day..shes hapi! well,tat flowers means a lot to her i guess so..ei,very fucking tiring siah! my leg mcm nak tercabuts! ish..nak carik keje yg duduk ar! boleh?? mne ade ar? ofis?? ok per...haiz..esok beli paper carik lagik tu opis..hehehe! then polar stay as part tym jer.. better i guess,keje part tym pun bleh dpt 700+ 1 whole mth sey! dari gaji full tym 850?? but..ntah eh? i dunno!!tgk mcm ner nanti... aku nak keje dua kdg2 tpi tgk keadaan jugak lah..hmm....damn tiring!pinggang sakitz lagik! ish..bored! y must my life be so leceh like tis??kenape susah sgt nak carik keje sampai mcm nie??bosan!smlm tido kul 4 pgi..bebual dgn si Yazid kat msn...eh!!! my brother is gona be ok soon! hapi for him...hope he will change n find werk like normal person lah! dad just came back from meeting n gues wt,kejap lagik pi keje lagik... tk penat ke ayah?? keje keje keje ajer??? korg tgk..kerana nk support family.. he do tis... dun even care bout himself! haiz... ayah! ayah!..i cant wait for tomorow!my off day!yahoo... yeh...going jb with mum! nk beli makan!

do u tink pintu untuk aku terus maju dan pergi jauh ke alam baru akan datang??will i change?? insyallah... i will... im hoping to...
here there i can c my life not worth luving sum1 who never luv me but played me out!dun even apprciate me! i hate him! wake up sharul.. dun be selfish! playboy man! arrgghh.... i just need god.. he luvs me more...sigh...!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:11 AM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I can't pretend I know what you are going through
And it would be so easy to be glib
But I am sure you know that I mean it when I say,
I'm always thinking of you.
I am here any time you need me
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Or someone to hug or hold you close
Maybe just to run an errand or help in any other way.
Whatever it may be, please don't think no-one cares
And, who knows, one day I may need you
So please let me show you how much you mean
And make it easier for me.

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:55 PM

SatuRdaY??boring!!! for the whole mths of ApRil i've been getting off on Weekends,but now?? no!! Arrgghh...Boring man!I wanna get a job that have permanent Saturday n sunday off can?? haiz..Ofis?? but i dont even find..how to get? alah...nevermind..yg penting,aku dpt duit sudah end of the mth..haizz!! For the time being,juz stay with polar first lah... kay? if no money how sey?? aku jugak yg merana siah...ahahah! do u tink im gona stay long with polar?? ntah plak? taktau sey!eerrr...Duit duit dimana kau duit?? erm,..shud i go cheers for extra money?? hahaha! shud eh? alah..kfc ader per! tracy always luk 4 me one! sure...2.80 pun 2.80 lah yati! yg penting ade duit sey!aaaaiyayaya....oh ye,smnlm surat Dari ITTaR Selangor datang,suruh join intake dorg but i still got no money n not ready yet man! 14k ajer da cukup tau?14 k as in RM--Ringgit Malaysia! 7 ribu malaysia jer da cukup per...but aku nk simpan lebih! 10 k ar,belum termasuk penginapan semua,haiz! biler mau game yati oi!!! hahahah! gaji 850,then cpf potong,semua aku dpt ape?? nvm..i have 2 kip 300 every mth lor...if enuff! i need to spend sumore leh! bill?? pay dat,dis..food,family? but for my ownself is enuff! but...for the bill,tis n dat...nope at all! haiz! boring!! Today werk 4-10.30 then sunday also! cume... monday nie off..then tuesday pegi toa payoh pulak keje for 1 week..then pegi balik "Market street" kalo da bukak. hmm....hope i get market street lah eh... i dun wan bradell...no people siah! seram jer..eeheehe! nisa da dua ari tk msg aku,tk kol pon...Sad sad... da ade kekasih pe,aku pun tk endah! yelah...Rashid?? eeee...menyampah pulak aku kdg2! tadi,she kol from ofis,aku tak angkat! haiz...aku mimpi Sharul tadi... mimpi dier dgn gadis lain..depan mata aku but dier bb je dgn aku! nampak buat tak nampak! go to hell ar!Dream is just a dream... wateva!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:32 AM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Friday!! my favourite day of all days in a weeks..its the best day as it the day sebagai pendahuluan segala hari..erm..great yar??oklah tuh..! bile aku terkenang balik..dgr lagu nasyid haji menuju allah...
aku sedih sekali!jiwa dan hatiku tersentak...kerana...5 februari 2005..adelah dimana aku hilang semuanya dlm diri aku ini..! haiz! tapi aku maseh hidup...allah maseh memberi aku peluang untuk bertaubat!insaf...sad to say... im sorry for what i've done..ini kehendak diri aku sendiri per...mak ayah dia kat makaah kite kat rumah buat keje yg tk sepatutnya dibuat!haiz.... tuhan ku!!! kembalikan hati sharul padaku!!! ahahahha....watevalah...
hari nak ujan nie..aku nak pi keje...erm.. klah! mlm aku blog lagik! bubyee.....a'kum...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:17 AM

Peter Pan

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin
yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya

Mungkin saja kau bukan
yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita
kan bertemu lagi
Satu pinta ku jangan kau
Coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti kelmarin saat semua di
sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku

Mungkin saja kau bukan
yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita
kan bertemu lagi
Satu pinta ku jangan kau
Coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti kelmarin saat semua di
sini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
semua sesal yang kau cari
semua rasa yang kau beri

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:14 AM

Friday, May 06, 2005

alu..Today so touching! i bought my mum,erm... Bunga rose! Flower..kat Esplanade bay!eheheh...kene amek hati tau!Shes my dearest mum of all!the most important person to me!i werk finish at 6 then i go esplande..duk2..but its raining cats n dog mula2 but then..i get a place to sit after the rain Drizzling Stops!! ehem... great mah...sits at my usual place with ina...where i saw abang body! hahahah..remember??? but i sit near the staircase!then, i read my book.."rahmat di sebalik Dugaan..." tats a great book siah...dgr radio..azan berkumandang...aku nangis..haizzz...!! sad sad.. kenang nasib lagik...tapi kali nie aku nangis kerana aku sedih mendengar azan..bile aku nak sedar??insaf??tunduk kepada tuhan sebenar2 nyer??
haiz...sedih ar...betapa kuasanya allah menjadikan bumi ini..dunia yg diselangi dgn malam dan siang!! arrgghh.....so gud! tk sangka! betapa mulianyer tuhan ku ini...yg menciptakan aku... im so greatful..! aku minta petunjuk allah...yg esa..! oh yer..after wen to esplanade,tot of going home,but i walk pass the flower shop i bought lor<$12.50>..then,i went to merlion to mit sis Linda.she sexy mah! hey sexy Lady...weehhee..she cry u noe..becos of tat ashiek..! then..me?? no point crying for him!i noe...now i realise...but my luv is still there 4 u Sharul! let me let u go for a while,then..wen gods mit us again...u'll c!! im gona be strong facing tis reality! for few mths from now onwards...if u wanna mit me...i will mit u n... as i promise,i'll give u a kiss on ur lips,ur cheek,ur neck...a hug! n hold u tight2..i will... as a promise!! coz..i miss u lots!! i only dare to do it to u...only u! kay?? no worries..i'll do it! wahahhaa.. u will be shocked!damn shocked i think..dun even care u got gf,got gerl...u're single or attach..i will hug u n kiss u like u're mine but im not urs...hahaha! get it??? god...thanks for everything!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:58 PM

Yuhhooo..
now,ryte now...
im having a kind of
syndrome...

it Really Strucks me
the whole day yesterday
a luv sick Syndrome..

im in pain...
no mood to eat,
no mood to go out,
no mood to talk..
no mood to watch tv..
i can only sleep...
lying down..
can listen to ,music only
y huh???

im getting hurt again....
its the greatest Fear
in my whole life..
get hurt by
the same person again...

shud i say...
im blinded by love??
headhache man!!!
Frustating..
Stressful...
Foolish..
sTupid...
Assuming...
spoilt my mood now...
duno wat to say..
i need u in my life..
i need ur luv...
ur life...
everything in u...
can u understand dear??
I NEED U..

God..
plz heal me faster...
i need u...
im not strong tis few daes...
im totally weak....
feel like a piece of shit!
argghh.......
plz.....
plz.....
plz help me god!!!

***2day 5th of may...3 Mths after i...haiz!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:06 AM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

AMcm?? muka Ada sweet kah?? hahahah!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:02 PM

First thing wen i saw u...
i'll smile
give u a big hug..a tight one...
a kis on ur lipz..
ur cheek...
hold ur hands...
i'll do it tight!
hug u all the way...
cherish the moment spend
luk at u all the way...

wen its tyme to go...
i'll hug u again...
kiss ur lipz,ur cheek..
gud bye to u...
my dear beloved Sharul..

its been such a long tyme i didnt get the touch from a man...
its such a lost in my life...
haiz...sad to say,i need it from u...
the caRing part from u...
belaian yg tak ternilai sekali....
i need it desperately man.......
can i be hostess? prostitude...
wahahahah...shit!
nak jual maruah eh yati??
plzlah.........
i wont........!!
ape yg aku merepek siak!
haiz....
i need luv!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:10 AM

Aaiyayaya! Sorie sharul kerana menipu kau!! i didnt mean to do it to u lar..its just a trick for a while only..prank ryte to u? im very Sorri man! well... i hope i can mit u tomorow but it seem like u're so bz with ur Soccer tournament!! y huh must be u again?? i dunno lah...it all lies inside my heart...im stupid fool i noe...but wat to do... i luv u only! u must be angry with me for making u so Silly! its hard to meet u nowadays..u will always said u're bz! watevalah... i dun even bother! but i just can tell u.... if im leaving tis World...im hapii to mit sum1 like u! although it really hurts me...ur attitude make me feel im stupid Fool too! i just can say..i luv u to the max...tat all!next year,im gona further studies at msia...u will be enjoying urself here in Sg! all up to u aite?
it doesnt matter at all...4 year ago..u're the best guy i ever met! u're the 1st n the last in my life...i hate myself for luving u i noe! but i cant kip my feeling deep inside my heart now... i dunnoe sharul...i noe u dun even luv me at all...but i shall tell u..before i go.. i just want u to realise how much deep my luv fo u is! i luv u becos of u urself..i dun even mind u have all the bad attitude n behaviours! i just luv u only.... wat am i saying huh?? if diyanah noe tis,she gona say... "haiz..yati yati...ape nak jadi dgn kau??tak insaf lagi ker??kau maseh nk dier dan sayang dier biler dier buat kau mcm tuh??hah yati??knape???? knape yati??..." maybe she said tat...or even worse then tat..haha! but tats me...after tis..im gona avoid him!im trying my best! dun say it unless u prove it kay yati??u c..if tomorow he dun wanna mit me again ryte...tats it! Full stop..im not gona find u again Sharul... i hope u find me 1 day...if u meet me tomorow,i just can say... thanks for spending aa little tyme on me although u've been damn bz all tis while!... then,im leaving u..till my bdae cums! then i mit u again if u want!i seriusly cant hide my feeling animore..i luv u sharul...let it be the lst tym i met u n then..i just go with the flow...im begging u please...mit me tomorrow my dear! ahakz... wat a silly person yati is! there my cita2 cums...i can only say...i luv u to u...n hope to get u back one day!! miz u lots...

missing u always..
Yati...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:30 AM

Hey Today my Off Day! ehem...nuting to do siah! wt a boring day i guess! erm...nak pi jb takde org nk pi plak..nak kluar takde org yg boleh diajak sey..hish! bosan!!! aku rasa...aku takmu ganggu sape2 lagik...ko tgk je akunyer blog mlm semlm,maki2 banyak siah! ehehe,sebab aku da bosan dgn dunia aku nie!! well...i need to be free from any woories all surrounding me! i just need god to help me out of my way now..wat bout sharul?? alah..bb jer...kau tau tak?? makin ku ingat dier,makin teruk aku nanti..perasaan pun nanti dtg balik ah!aku tanak sey! aku da kene dgn die byk kali its enuff!dier byk menyusahkan hidup aku..dan aku pun byk menyusahkan dier jugak.. buat ape kan??? kite tak sehaluan lagipun.. tapi aku da nekad.. cinta aku pada dier jer..aku da janji dlm hidup aku hanya dier jer yg dapat menarik hati aku ini..untuk jatuh cinta dgn seseorg bukannyer mudah...ia perlukan perasaan yg amat mendalam..tulus ikhlas dari hati yang suci murni ini...tak pernah ade rasa kebencian...mesti da kesabaran..ketabahan,tak boleh ada rasa kesal didalam hati ini...begitulah cinta aku pada dia...tak sapa dapat menjauhkan cinta aku pada dia melainkan ALLaH!aku hanya ikut telunjuk tuhan yg esa...dia yang maha mengetahui segalanya... aku bersyukur kerana kau tak menjadikan aku budak jahat,bertukar2 pasangan..minum... hisap rokok.. semuanyer yg tidak perlu dilakukan! yang haram disisi agama! cuma....ape yg terjadi pada aku tahun ini membuatkan aku lebih yakin,bersabar,tenang,tabahkan hati... redha dan sentiasa berhati-hati demi menghadapi segala onak duri kehidupan ini.. hanya tuhan yg tahu segalanya... ya allah!!! aku inginkan dier kembali...aku perlukan dier dlm kehidupan aku tuhanku!kehidupan seharian!! aku cinta dia.... cinta teramat sangat! tiada yang lain dpt menjauhkan aku dgn dia... hanya kau saja berhak ya allah!! Fahamilah ku!!! haiz...... i can say...i got a feeling i get him back 1 fine Day!! Gudbye...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:32 AM

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

boring lah...haiz! y people if dah ade matair semua matair ajer huh???matair bleh buat ape??? bosan ar...aku tak suke sey...kalau aku ade matair pon..i will stick to my fren still coz..matair boleh carik n not so important to me!!! arggh...go to hell ar... i dun care at all! well.. i need a fren... but fren also not like my attitude!!only cum wen u dun have ur um1 with u..if u have sum1 with u..aku pun korg letak tepi!!! wat the hell!!! hmmph! go lah... i dun even care! fren ke...ape ker...all can walk away of my life...hanya teman buat sementara aje buat ape??
argghh..boring ar... i wud rather be alone in tis life better then having people all around me! fuck off with them..i dun even wanted to noe u all..but god had made me meet u all up! doesnt even matter who am i toking about..i noe its all the people surrounding me... for goodness sick plz people wake up!!!!!!!! wt so gud bout ur guy??? wt so gud bout him? bull shit man! i dun need guys in tis world anymore! all are fuckers!! noe how to fuck only..n gals pulak terkene dgn kata2 manis jantan sial !! pi mampoz ar!!! do i luk like i care??? all can go to hell man!!!fed up siah!!!! dun say it wen u cant even prove it to me ur promise kay??? Fuck off!! Sluts!!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:55 PM

Semalam,my first day at werk..oklah..ramai melayu lah katekan! becok seh makcik2 nie bebual...ntahlah..aku takmu jaga hal dorg ar...buat bodoh suah! aku tau end of mth dpt gaji lar kay? i heard they bagi pakai cek dulu...after 3 mths baru pakai bank account! herm... oh yar.. i heard tat wen im transfered to raffles,i'll get permanent sunday off! tats great..i've been waiting to werk there a long tym ago siah!saturday pun half day ape...lucky sey! i werk pt tym pay for 80 hours then i get full tym pay after tat..hmm!

sharul msg me yesterday...he was at home also.never go out.. well... i dunno bout him!! i bedek2 him i never cum uzur for nearly 2 mths !!! hahahaa... he was shock upon hearing it! n scared i guess.. takut sey dier...alah!! biarlah... nanti brape hari aku msg again..ckp yg aku da dtg...or bla....bla! padan muka dier!! nk beli pregnancy kit lah..apelah!! hmmm...wateva..!! nisa ckp dgn rashid dah pasal dier..rashid mula2 shocked..tapi after tat,rashid ckp dgn nisa suruh aku,forget sharul..coz,sharul mcm playboy!byk sgt perempuan yg dier kenal..itu aku taktau ar!up to him kay? his life!hmm....cinta aku kat dier da takder lah...setakat untuk teman bebual jer!! sebab boring ar..aku carik dier! haiz... nak kate aku nie tak sedar2? memang tak pun! tapi aku tau lah ape yg aku buat... haiz..! plz wake up sharul.... open ur eyes! talk to him for almost 2 hrs yesterday..talk n talk about taiwan semua..hmm..! oklah! he said it was boring there..nak balik je rasenyer..baguslah...! oh yar,kucing dier nama AZIE! hehehe,cute kan! kucing parsi lagik! kaler kelabu.. ahahha!! i wander...mcm ner nak jaga dier sey..tapi kucing dier clever tau!hmm! mcmner skrg?? nak ckp ape ngan sharul??aku tipu dier eh??alah..bb lah yati! tgk jer ape dier buat! cinta hati.. sape ar?? haiz..sharul kape?? yati...oh yati! dahlah..cinta aku kat dier da takder mcm dulu lah...i need him wen i got important thing only! i am still wandering..how shud i win him back?? win his heart?? i shud! coz..hes the first...aiyayaya! just move on with my life as usual.. then..it will be fine kay?? adios!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:21 AM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

pic baru

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:47 AM

Monday, May 02, 2005

Yati....
can i say tat u're mind now are totatly thinking bout Him??
its tRue ryte??oh god!! y must i feel tat way?? cant u just tell me the truth answer y?Shit...what have i done??am i doing the ryte thing god??y must i luv him??i cant live without him!y huh??? aaargghhh.... i need him!in my life...but i wanna forget him! i cant resist him by my life..y???y?? give me the specific answer plz god!! u determine my life now..i cant bear to stay away from him!! u shud understand me god!!! plz heal me faster... y must i be like tis??? haiz...sad to say.. real sad... im no where now! y must be him?? y him??? after he played around on me,..i still want him?? y huh?? y the feeling never change?? y god??? so sickening man..tis really make me think again..y??? well.. to forget like people said is easy... but to ourself..its very2 hard... damn it man! i hate myself for luving u!arrgghh....can reply me sharul?? plz understand me!! i hate u to the core!!!!

Start my day werking at polar..10.30..how was it??haiz...bye!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:05 PM

today...labour day.

tadi go kendarat kat umah Sulastri..wake up 8.30 then tertido balik.skali jam menunjukkan kul 9.30..alamak!! im late!!! hisshhhh..im late man!! miting ina at 10am!sekli..ina kol.."yati,aku jumpe kau kat yishun mrt eh??bapak aku anta kite..da sampai yishun kol aku!"...there it goes...she msg pun after aku mandi abes..hermm... aku terus siap dan cepat2 keluar..tapi tym keluar,in kol pulak..4 kali..kali kelima baru aku angkat!terus dier ckp.."cepat yati!!!" then..kt bus stop..bapak dier kol...ckp.."yati kt maner??pakcik amek yati kay??kt mrt admiralty bus stop sane! ok tak nak??" wweeehhheee,hapi aku..save duit bus!takyah pi yishun!ehehee...kene pakai bunge 10 dolar tym dtg kat umah las..then kendart mcm waitres..angkat pinggan dan air jer...at the end of day..dpt $40! walau weh..banyak sekali! ape tak..untung siak aku! ehehehe..ramai sey org..1500 + tak terkira.penat tu mcm biase jer..lucky got ina... got fren...erm..best jugak ar dpt campur orang sey...dari duk umah??? kaku jer,mcm tunggul kayu yg mati....haiz!! hahaaa! orang boyan sey...member ramai tau!! ade ke makcik nie bebual boyan dgn aku??? rupenyer makcik nie mintak berkat dua...yg nie pakcik plk..mintak berkat..sebelum mkn..sebab penuh! then pakcik nie ckp... "boleh tahan" ape yg boleh tahan tah!!! hahahaha..funny ar!then..makcik nie satu boring dgn aku jer..sebab tak dpt duduk..sialah!!aku taktu ape2 siak..alih2 buat muke! pi jalan lah.....!!! yg lagi satu nie mcm india ar,gelap sikit..makcik tua jugak..aku angkat pinggan dier...da kosong per..dah letak tepipon...yg sebelah dier tinggl ayam jer..aku angkat..tym da jalan sikit,dier ckp..."nak makan lagi nie..bla bla bla..."pe sey??? karenah makcik dan pakcik2 nie..haiz... susah tapi simple.!! oh yer...aku balik dapat nasi..dapat berkat gelas,.,dgn berkat ana! lawa jugak sey...aku kirim dier bab tk dtg! tadi pun jumpe abang rahmat amek kasut kat mrt..

erm.......nk tau ape??Sharul msg aku!haha...wahduh! aku rasa dier gian kot...3 kali msg..dua kali kol..tak penah2 kol kol...! wahahaha! i didnt even reply n pick up his ring! biarlah....part boring baru carik aku pe!betul tak?? hahaha! well.....up to u lah sharul... it doesnt matter....i dun care.... but..ingat jugak eh kat aku??tapi...ade matair pe...carik matair dier ar...ok pe?? jgn carik aku lah lain kali! hahhaha....matair ader pe..ape gune jadi matair tul?? kalau dier takleh layan kau sharul?? bagi kau itu ini..semua?? buat ini buat itu?? decent ker dier??kalu dier syg kau..dier sanggup buat ape jer tau sharul!!!betul...??dier mampu buat ape yg kau nak mcm aku buat??dier mampu beri kau kasih syg tak mcm aku berikan kau??dier sanggup korbankan masa untuk kau mcm aku korbankan?? hmm..think kay??? lagipun..kau lelaki...bile2 bleh carik... aku pon bleh cari biler2 pe!!step siak yati..nanti org tuh tanak terus...kau menangis..oooiii!!! plz lah...i have my own life..he dun suits me...he got other person mah..im not important at all! alah...biarlah.. kite tgk jer ape jadi kay?? but.. i mis u too..cume..i got no tym for u anymore..i want u to realise it!im in pain lah...so hard to 4get...im strong yati! strong! bubyee!!!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:18 AM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

miz those days...
i miz those days siah...wen im with Sharul! he give me a lot of manja..i appreciate it!dier jer yg tk...tktaulah kalau hati dier betul appreciate kan? alah..it over..past... i just have to kip it as memories...sure! i'll try hard to 4get u,,but one day... i will come back to ask u again! after i settle my thing,i will get back to u my dear... tat if only u find me! if not..its too late,,my heart will disapear from u.. i will leave u alone now...kalau kau ingat aku,kau pasti mesej aku!kalau kau tak ingat then...Aku tak kisah pun sharul..too bad yati! i dun mind kay? i noe..i had... my own life to care about! i got only one thing i promise in my luv life... wen i noe im in luv with sum1.. my true luv n the 1st..i dun even mind at all... as long as i live..i will give all my heart and soul towards him...be happi although we met them for a while...give all the luv we can,selagi hidup di dunia..bile dier takde lagi dalam hidup kita, kite puas walaupun hanya sementara..di akhirat nanti akan dtg dgn dunia yg lain pula...walau pon sekejap...ia Sudah cukup untuk menghidupkan kekuatan aku atas cinta suci..! syukurlah kau selamat...jaga diri ye sayang!

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:34 PM

pasrah- Erra fazira

Ingin ku sendiri
Meniti hari
Kala sunyi
Yang melanda sepi
Alam bisu
Bagaikan mengerti
Berakhirnya sebuah memori

Ingin ku melangkah
Membawa diri
Kerna cinta
Yang dikhianati
Luka rasa untuk menghadapi
Pengorbanan tidak dihargai

KINI AKU... PASRAH
DENGAN SEGALANYA
KEPEDIHAN ITU
MASIH TERASA
APAKAH SALAHKU
APAKAH DOSAKU
TUHAN BERILAHKU PETUNJUKMU
REDHA DENGAN KEHENDAKMU
CUKUP KALI INI
KAU MENYAKITI
BERULANGKALI
TAK USAHLAH KEMBALI
DENGAN RELA HATI
MELEPAS KAU PERGI...

NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:40 AM

i went to airport to temankan nisa tadi...erm! u noe wat??? i dun get to c him at all...muke dan bayang dier pun tak nampak terus sey!
aku tgk bdk2 guardsmen keluar jer..im so excited waiting for him actually!! argghh...i dunnoe! i just feel tat i want to c his face at a glance but..i mistaken him as sum1 who luk exactly like him!! Reallyy!!! i tot its him n i straight ajak ina balik...but its not him! nevermind! i dun mind but...... im reali disapointed! disapointed with tis...im reali sad,hampa dan kecewa tak dpt tgk dier walau dari jauh! entahlah..di takdirkan tuhan aku tak perlu tgk dier lagik mungkin!!n i dun wanna c him animore actualli..mcm tujuan aku yg sebenar jumpe nisa...temankan nisa ajer! well...enuff lah! today 30th of april..i made my final decision! aku da nekad kay?
i realli had to leave u sharul...thanks once again for all ur luv,ur care n ur time u spent n spare it on me... i appreciate it! im glad u're safe after a long journey from taiwan..no regrets! lots of luv,hug n kisses!! -- NoRhayati!