but everythingmeans nothing.
Monday, February 28, 2005
SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL
SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL
SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL SHARUL
ahhahhaa...orang giler cinta mcm aku nie je yg akan buat mcm nie..keje bodohkan??? aku rasa dalam semua orang aku je yg buat..hahahaha!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:59 PM
Yahhhooo... mak aku dapat hadiah penginapan ke Perak(Ipoh),Cameron highlands dan juga Genting Highlands yeshlah!!! wah lao weh!!! my family so lucky! kalo boleh pegi..semua bleh pegi tau,even my both brothers,bestnyer...tis is the tyme we can gather around 2gether as one whole happy family! ehehehe..hmm...dunno besok pegi amek tiket lah tuh kat Middle Road!baguslah....syukur alhmdulilah!! besT!!!!
aku just came back from yio chu kang,pegi book BTT! 8 March..tuesday kene pegi amek btt!! ok pe..aku beli CD american idiot From Greenday.lagu sedap n its only $18.90.kalo beli kt HMV 19.95! save $1 dollar AKU! WELL..duit yg ayah bagi aku sempat beli 2 CD dengan 1 Coli.hahah! lawa! lumyan gak..$50 dapat beli macam2 erk! Cd Pug Jelly n Cd Greenday..u noe im stuck to all tis kind of song! punk rocks never dies!! music like Greenday,Blink 182,Simple Plan,Good Charlotte,Pug Jelly,Linkin |Park,Eminem....lots more all are my favourites!! cant leave without them! ahakz...kalau malay..anything also can..tapi most favourite i EXISTS!! minat giler...indon pulak..hmm...tengoklah kalo lagu sedap ade makna..aku suka kalo tak..aku dengar jer...in every mesti ade satu lagu yg jadi pilihan hati punye!! ahaha!! fadzil msg tadi...he ask me to understand him...lets c....after his training in camp ends.will he be there 4 me..hope so... bosan ar!! fadz!!!!!! help me plz.... Fuad da ok dengan aku..lupe nak bilang ko blog...mcm kau kate dulu,hes a gud fren,gud guy now..hes my fren...
i've made up my mind!! let him be..let him live in his own world.. he wans it!i luv him..but wat can i do..kalo tidak aku yg merana.. aku yang tanggung kepayahan nie,kesedihan dan kesusahan ini.. i have to..like the song "Dengan atau tanpamu" From exists! yeeehhhaaa!!! i have to move on with my life..anggap sajelah itu sejarah cinta pertama yg terlaLu pahit yang terpaksa aku lalui... aku pasrah dan ku bahagia dengan hidup aku sekarang...tk guna sayang org kalau org tak sayang kita.. buat apekan?? hahaa..maybe bulan 7 aku sekolah kembali..insyallah...tengok mcm ner.. NURSE.,here i cum!! im gonna serve u! here i am...hhahahha!! wait kay??? bubbyyeee!!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:04 AM
Baca-baca blog abby...Ternampak nie...Sorry kalo terambil..tapi amek sikit jer..yg kene mengena dengan aku eh?? ehehehe...jgn marah!
LOVE IS..
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
" If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage do not cause pain.
There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life...
Ini semua ada kene mengena dengan aku...arrgh....life seems to be so problematic!! ape nak buatkan...da dikatakan kehidupan di dunia..akhirat nanti lebih berguna dan di dunia inilah penentu untuk hidup kite di akhirat nanti...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:15 AM
MoRn BloG...haha! pagi2 on computer nak tulis blog punye pasal.. yelah,nak taip mane lagi kalo bukan nie blog jugak kan???? next tym,it can be used/Read as my life story..ahakzz!! listening to perfect 10 now,n kenangkan sumting..u noe?? tadi pagi aku terkenangkan sesuatu,bile aku ingat handphone dier kan da kene cut off,aku sedih dan tibe2 jer nanges lepaskan segala emosi aku! entahlah kenapa,but im too sad n i cried..i miss him badly n only god can feel it! can i mit u n cry in front of u??wanna let u noe how i feel 4 u dear?? although u dunno how deep is my luv to u..i reali luvs u very much! y must be him??? y not other guys out there who will luv me too?? appreciate all my sacrifice,my luv,my care n concern?? when i sumtymes feel...i hate u!!! i hate the feeling 4 missing u,luving u n care 4 u! my heart is always full of sickness,luka yg terlalu pedih dan berdarah seperti ditusuk sembilu!!
i shouldn't have cried 4 u! but i just wanna express my feelings n im done n ok now! i hate myself 4 luving u!!!! but it ws gods will... not mine,i just have to accept it..theres no other guys who can be in my heart ryte now..shud i fly far way from u?? i dunno!! im stuck in the middle..finding my own right way to go on with lives...nevermind..just 4get it kay?? im just too tired,too sick of having all tis stupid problems...i miss u dear..wat ever it is.thanks 4 being sum1 in my heart...4 years back...!!!!
Im going to SSDC 4 while lah..wanna book my BTT..i wanna learn back my kereta,i waste the money 4 tis n i dun go..isnt it a wasted one??
shud go now since im still werking in 7-11...well.. tomorow i get 4 night shift straight..at last! im so happy!! yeah! wanna bath n start my brand new day with no worries..i trylar..hahaha! if cant..shud i cry again?? shit!!!!!!! i luv my family,i luv myself... i luv u!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:50 AM
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Im at home now,after tired werking in the morning 7-3...kad qb pulak ilang..for ezlink! leceh,n guess wat,next week aku dpt keje 11-7..sunRiSe! yahoo!!!wen i reached home..my 1st brother OMAR was at home..dah lama tak jumpe dia,datang jugak lawat mak dan ayah kat umah.. but,wen i think of his attitude,i regret,im tired n im sick of it..i cant talk much,he wants to win..but actually both of us tak mau mengalah..haha! gud! we both are stubborn siblings! wt to do ryte?? it fair enuff wen i dun judge him n he dun judge me..better! dun ever talk bout my character wen u urself had a bad character.. Screw it up man!! hahahhaa... my abg AZMAN just came back..haha dunno from where tis man go everyday.,.so sad...but im quite happy to c wen my both brother was here by my side...which sister dun like wen the blood brother was with her??? where is our dad?? y must he be way wen all his son n daughter was at home??y?? if i can help,i'll support u n u stay home,but i didnt get the chance to help u yet dad,i want u n i need my family to be together,be happy n cheerful always,but i did not even get the chance to c..i miss them,i always alone! sumtymes im angry n sumtymes im rude to them i noe..but,deep inside my heart..theres a SEntence, phrase n a reminder.."no mtter what happens,we are family,brothers n sisters who cant be separated...i luv u all,although i never show my very best attitude.." I LOVE U ALL---Mum,Dad..Along,Angah n Sharul.... always in my heart..n not forgetting u my god ....
Oh...Alhamdulilah.hujan turun akhirnya...syukur,setelah brape minggu kemarau dan bahang hutan alam semulajadi terbakar... haiz...
panasnya hanya tuhan yg tahu..ahahha! i believe in god n i noe wat will happen is all fated by him..dialah segalanya..maha agung, maha adil dan maha segala-galanya..amin!!!
Semalam aku msg sharul dia tak reply,malam,tergerak hati aku untuk menghubungi nyer,telefonnya..tapi telepon operator bercakap, the M1 customer u are calling is currently unavailable...plz try again later..hmm...y huh? i kol him puluhan kali n tadi aku try kol dier kat rumah..mula2 mak dier angkat,tapi aku letak! terus ku kol dlm 12.30 tghari...he said he juz woke up from slip..he ckp handphone dier dah kene potong,tak bayar bill...aik..heran!!! hmm...knape eh?? apelah deknie..aku heran sungguh! ade duit takkan tk bayar bill pon??
watever it is..i just wanna tell u i miss u sso much sha!! but i didnt told him tat...ahakz...! i ask whether he going out today or not he ckp maybe je kuar,maybe tak..alasan..arrgghh.. y must u make me luv u?? worried 4 u?? think of u?? kau kusutkan jiwa aku hingga kini tiada jawapannya...aku seperti menagih kasih,pada insan yang tak sudi..aku insan yang lemah dan luhur,hanyut dalam arus cinta yg tak pernah wujud didalam hati nya...aku redha..aku terima dan aku sedih sekali...tika dan saat ini aku mendengar lagu DENGAN ATAU TANPAMU from Exists!! ya tuhan yg esa...apa akan jadi seterusnya... setelah aku gadai harga diri,maruah ku padanya..apa yg aku harus lakukan??aku pasrah...aku mennti saat2 detik2 waktu dan hari yg mendatang dan aku ingin menanti apa yg akan terjadi di masa hadapan...berilah ku petunjuk darimu tuhan...aku menyayangi mu,aku menyayangi diriku,insan yg bernama SHARUL NIZAM MOHD SALLEH..... aku cinta kamu...rindu yg ada ini akan tetap dinaluri hati dan jiwa ragaku... i luv u dear..luv u always... :{
P/s: 1 more mth he's going Taiwan...will i still be like tis??
waiting 4 him...like hell....no ending u noe!! i bought him
wallet n a Card..sweet n simple..just 4 u..
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:00 AM
Dengan specs... 
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:36 AM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
im Quite worried 4 Sharul now..i msg him from yesterday but he still dun reply...knape eh? wen i tried to kol tadi..he off his phone.. hmm...knape erk?? he tak penah off tepon tau..unless he go overseas lar..hmm..i missed u dear!! im too tired of tinking of u too much,y cant u just let me have u in my life..?? i dun mind if it just 4 an hour,a day,a week,a mth...i mis u ssooo much,n truly!!!! i hate myself 4 luving u but i have too..u have stole my heart..n i cant take it anymore... im so weak n i cant do anything! i just noe i luv u n i need u always... man!! in tymes like now..i real;ly need u..i wanna hold u,hug u,kiss u,luv u n meet u but i cant! i just need u by my side..oh plzz god..dun make us like tis.dun separate me n him plz...arrrgghhhh........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i When to town jut now in the evening and bought a wallet 4 my dearest sharul..quiksilver wallet.nice n simple one..a card also..!
i just need u n i hope u will appreciate it although its not a nice gift...just a simple one 4 u..who i really luv...then i go esplanade meet sis linda.. we sit down ner the merlion..talking n chating about our life..haiz..sad ar... im truly missing u sharul....only god noe how i feel now!! shit!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:55 PM
Gaji !!! yeeehhhaaa!! bestnyer dapat gaji but dapat 580 ajer... sedih sey..keje almost everyday but i just get 580!!! after CpF deduct if not i get 680 siak..haiz..sad! nvm lah..i still got sum money 4 myself here..simpan sikit2 jadi bukit betul...kalau gji banyak mcm ner sekalipon tapi tak simpan duit jugak..boros..duit nyer pon habis..hahaha! im ryte! asalkan duit makan aku ader..hmm...insyallah! kau tahu tak?? tadi pagi..aku sakit..aRRgghh! tak tahu apsal sey bleh jadi mcm tuh! gian kot..hahaha! but i msg him..he tk reply..nvm..i dun care..u're bz wat ..i cant do anything!
im not 4 u dear,u're not 4 me 2..im for god..hehehe!
tat tyme i go 4 interview at river view hotel...aha! n i got it! as a waitress...amacam?? sad ar..its too far n i heard saner 95% orang Malaysia...im interested but too bad..c howlah..if i can make it..monday i werk..9-5..tengoklah mcm ner..cume baju dier ajer aku tk berkenan sikit ar.hahaha!!then.pacific coffee call aku semlm suruh datang nari..pon taktau nk pegi tidak nie...im so Fickle minded!! yati oh yati....plz made up ur mind!!!!! boring!!
later im gona find present 4 him...maybe beli dier begduit tau jam ar kay..taktau lah...c how 1st..i mizz u ..feel like hugging n kissing u dear..ahakz!! gtg...chow!!!
P/S : Atuk 19th year pass away...semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat hendaknya...amin!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|6:15 AM
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Today is Sharul NiZam bdae ...23RD FebRuary 1982.. ur old enuff to think wats gud n wats bad ..i dun noe wat to say but..hope u will be more matured,think more n be more careful n happier always with ur love ones..i noe i dun deserve to be urs,but i do luv u..i noe i cant be part of u coz we have different ways of live..thinking n character.. but i do fill wat u want b4..,n i really hope u tink much about it! guess u wont be responsible enuff 4 me..becos u dun luv me.. i noe that Sharul.. but,i just cant denied i luv u n i did it becos of me myself who wants it... im open minded enuff n i think too much about u tat had made me sickn tired to think again.i tink of u 24 hour round the clock....i tink its tyme 4 me to slowly leave u n be away From u...i'll give u time..u going TAiwan next mth, all the best n gud luck..jut take care of urself dear,no word can describe my feelings 4 u..if one day im fated to lose u in my life... i wont regret it 4 life..just tat,i'll be alone, tinking of all the pass experience wen we were spending the tyme together.. i just cant 4get u,but if i realli need to leave u i will n from the bottom of my heart...i just can say,thank 4 being sum1 who had stole my heart b4...not only wen we were together but..its 4 eveR.. luv u always...Happy 23RD BirthDay,all the best,god bless u! mmuuccccaaakkksss!!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:17 PM
Mencari Kebenaran
Dalam mencari kebenaran hakiki
Tiada lagi kuingat selain nama Mu
Betapa nama itu sentiasa memenuhi ruang hati
Pun amat payah menyedari Kau ada di sisi
Nama Mu Yang Maha Agung
Telah kudengar sejak pertama kali kurasa
Dinginnya udara Mu dan cerahnya siang Mu
Aku tahu ada iringan janji bersamaku
Janji yang lahir dari jiwa yang putih
Tetapi janji itu telah diwarnai hidupku
Dan kini aku kembali mencari diri Mu
Tuhan, bantulah aku
Telah jauh aku menyimpang dari jalan Mu
Terlalai aku oleh setitis ilmu Mu
Bukalah kembali pintu hatiku
Terimalah kembali segala amalku
Dalam mencari kebenaran hakiki
Betapa pun terasa amat payah
Aku menanti penuh harap
Akan titik pertemuan itu
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:19 AM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
penat sey..lucky i off tommorow..n i get three days off tis week.. how lucky i am ryte?? aiyah..but no money liao..ahakzzz.....!! im so bored tis few daes..jut finih eating chicken curry cook by my mum..its my favourite dish! yeah..it is..kate ayam nya..isi,sedap sekali dong! bilelah aku akan dapat petunjuk dari yang maha kuasa?? sampai bile aku harus menanti nasibku ini?? aku takbleh menanti hanya aku saje yg boleh mengubah cara hidupku sendiri..dari penilaian ku,aku bukanlah seperti gadis2 yg maseh suci murni.. tapi..hatiku tetap ingat pada tuhan yg satu...aku tahu ape yg aku lakukan dan aku tahu apa yg baik dan buruknya,itu antara tuhan dan aku sendiri..tak kuasa lagi aku ingin memikirkan kisah hidupku ini..
Pada Fadzil..sekiranya kau ikhlas ingin aku menjadi milik hatimu itu..aku bersyukur tapi.. cinta ku yang nyata hanya untuk allah dan Sharul..aku tahu.. aku tak epatutnya menyintai dier tapi hati ini telah dipanah nya..4 tahun yang lalu... Fadz,kau terlalu baik untuk aku..pada dasarnya,kau mulia,kau ceria,sopan,hormat org tua, sikapmu positif,pandai berkata-kata,menghiburkan,manja,beriman... dan... kerana itu,aku tidak layak untukkmu,aku tahu,kau tidak akan meneRima gadis yg seperti aku ini,dun judge a book by its cover only... jejaki lah ia DARI dan bagaimana ia dijadikan..mengapa?? ape sebabnya?? kerna itu leBih penting dan mulia... tak semua insan yg hidup didunia ini tiada dosaa...semuanya ader..
i Never regret in my life living in tis werld...telah ditakdirkan tuhan aku jadi begini...aku hanya menerima nya sahaja dengan rela hati..bukan kehendak aku jadi begini ..tuhan,kau lindungilah aku..sehingga sekarang aku belum ketemu jalan yg benar di dunia ini.
aku sayang keluargaku..iaitu ibu dan bapaku..aku juga sayang kan insan yg bertahta di hati ini 4 tahun lamanya..aku sayang allah..buat selamanya jua...
erm...tis thur ade result o level...im gonna try my luck applying 4 nurses!! in new ite..perhaps im gona go MP to apply itE die2!! hahahaaa...i will... K LAH..I WANNA REHAT japz..bye!! esok off!! yesh!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:54 AM
Monday, February 21, 2005
ehem....Yesterday im too tired to Write,to blog tis..but today i have to..im so tired after werking tat ends up at 3,then i go out alone find g strings n thongs at Orchard Wisma atria TopShop.. nvm,next week aku off banyak ari...wakakakakka!! so nice isnt it! mon-7 to 3,Tues oFF Wed 7-3,Thur 11-3,Fri off again,Sat 7-3 n Sun Off again!! but im so sad tat its not fair at all wen i ask 4 SUNRISE SHIFT n he didnt even give me..wt a waste!! even siti dapat..aku??? haiz...tak fairkan..kau!! idiot!!!! tak apelah...aku akan terus mencari keje kay?? da nasib aku macam nie yati!!!
Btw..semalam...lepas aku ajak orang2 lain tapi semua takleh kuar,msg Fadzil tak reply pulak..ade je alasan dier..haiz!! aku kuarlah sendiri then jumpe je Sharul kat umah..dlm kul 5... kite tengok tv,tgk cerita keris lama tapi tak bagus sgt ar! then, tym nak balik main kad...tunjukkan aku magiC! ewah..pandai dier..hehehe,gud!
Well....again we did..hahaa! im so lost into u!im in luv..god! please show me the ryte way to luv him..berilah kami petunjuk ya allah... petunjuk yg benar....tuhan ku!! sampai sekarang aku belum temu petunjuknya...ya tuhan..!!! yg sudah tu sudah..yg terjadi akan dtg..taktau lagik...
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:12 AM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
aku tak percaya lagi akan apa yg kau beri
aku terdampar disini tersudut menunggu mati
aku tak percaya lagi akan guna matahari
yg dulu mampu terangi sudut gelap hati ini
aku berhenti berharap dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat tak ada cinta kudapat
mengapa ada derita bila bahagia tercipta
mengapa ada sang hitam bila putih
menyenangkan...
aku pulaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang tanpa dendaaaaaaaaam
kuterimaaaaaaaaa kekalahankuuuuuuuu
aku pulaaaaaaaaaaang tanpa dendaaaaaaaaaaaam
kusalutkannnnnnn kemenanganmu
kau ajarkan aku bahagia kau ajarakan aku derita
kau tunjukan aku bahagia kau tunjukan aku derita
kau berikan aku bahagia kau berikan aku derita....
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:36 PM
BUKAN KERNA NAMA...
Jangan kau pandang bibir yang manis
Kerana dia bisa menghancurkan
Jangan kau pandang wajah yang indah
Kerana dia bisa meracunmu
( korus )
Dengarlah hai teman
Dengarkan bersama
Aku menulis bukan kerna nama
Kerna sifat kasih
Pada sesama insan
Dan menyatakan kasih sayangmu
Kita sama semuanya sama
Apa yang ada hanyalah kehidupan
Jangan kau dengar puisi dusta
Kerana dia bisa merosakkan jiwamu
Dengarkanlah puisi di pusaka
Yang telah turun temurun hari ini
Jangan kau alas hatimu itu
Dengan secebis warna kehitaman
Dialah seperti anai-anai
Lambat laun hancurlah dirimu
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|2:56 PM
Just now,i went to find a job..i cant tahan ar gaji 500+ i werk almost everyday n i get 500+ jer nanti!!! i need to werk n get enuff money in order to help my parents....i cant live without money coz everything iN Singapore needs money to buy! one day tis country can only be live by people with money..orang kayaa jer.. org miskin dan sederhana macam aku takleh..i go PS carik GELARE CAFE takde kosong..chibai tul! tulis pat paper pakai org sampai friDay..but wen i go its Full!! wat e hell..then i saw tis two guy..mcm siak jer muka..one indian n one malay..mepek! kentalan buah lenci!! :p
then i go PACIFIC COFFEE..sepatutnya esok,but then aku belit ar besok aku takleh..n aku da kol..after filing up the formdier ckp..AMY on monday she konfem kol me! haiz..ntah kol ke tidak.. takpelah..pelan2 carik kalo tak dapat da bukan rezeki aku pe..carik je yg lain..rezeki tu boleh dicari di maner2.. haiz..tuhan je yg tahu dimana rezeki aku nie..tadi pegi KFC,kalo join kene join as crew 2.80 balik..tu yg leceh nie..hmm... tgklah mcm ner yer..im not sure stil...
Wen i tink back,kalo lah ade org support aku,kasi makan sekarang..a guy who appreciate me,that sum1 who luv me 4 wat i am...my sacrifice.. kan bagus..but no..i havent met that true person..sape jodoh aku ye? kalo "mat TEBAN" tu tkpelah..sebab dier telah dpt semuanya dari aku.. kalo dier jodoh aku,aku bersyukur sebab aku dapat jadi jodohnya,aku juga yg nak dan aku juga yg tahu dierlah cinta pertama aku...haiz...SHARUL... open ur eyes big2 plz....
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|11:00 AM
Friday, February 18, 2005
Erti HiDup
Angin kau membawa bahteraku ke mana mahumu
di kamar aku sering bertanya
mana tempatku di dunia
tepuk dada tanyalah selera
jika daku ingin berjasa
memberikan hidupku makna
tepuk dada tanyalah selera
chorus
inginku mengenali erti hidup
hidup yg diberi di dunia
jadi saksi liku liku
kan ku harungi ohh.......
tidak lagi ku kan disitu
menyaksikan kehidupan berlalu
kan ku kerah darah keringatku
tiba waktu aku tiada
tidak akan aku sesali
daku hidup caraku sendiri
kini kan ku bawa bahteraku
kemana mahuku
kini ku berani mengemudi kemana ku pergi
bagai guruh mengegar bumi
aku tetap teguh berdiri
penuh pengorbanan sejati
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:58 PM
hie...i miss my frens...miss a lot of people... ! mis my cat who have died 3 year ago..BLACK!! i luv u dear cat... no Cat can replace u Dear! u r the place where i express my feelings,u hear u listen n u stared at me but... u dun talk n cant talk..but u MEOW.. dun even noe whether u understand me or not,...but,i miss u babe! one and only cat which i took care for almost 10 years..wat a waste..but we my whole family luv u cat! black.... miss u so much!!! semoga tuhan memberikan kau kebahagian ..walaupon kau telah pergi buat selama-lamanya..
Tadi..SHARUL msg me nak jumpe wen he book out at 12am..he luk so tired wen i met him tadi dlm taxi..meet kul 1.30 tapi aku maseh kat dlm umah pukul 12.53..hahaha wen he ask me to kol him! aku tade mood ar nak jumpe dier..taktau apsal pulak,..but since he ckp he nak blanja,n mati2 nak ajak sgt tgk movie hide n seek,pergi jelah kan.. kesian pulak tengok dier,muka punyelah penat,dahlah gelap.hahhaa tapi heran kenapa aku suke dier terlebih2 pulak..i cant live without him sey..he is like everything to me in my world..my heart n soul.. but then,i still remember his arrogant werd on how he dunt want me to be his gal... im so broken up n i cried again n again,over n over again..
I ALWAYs LUV U N WILL ALWAYs WILL...u stole and catch my heart n i cant let my heart go without u in my mind just like that dear.. i luv u baby! i miss u n always care for u...
just hope one Day u will appreciate wat i've done,wat i've sacrifice.. for u n u!! hope u realise it..his mum n dad da balik haji n they selamat...alhamdulilah... well my DEAR SHARUL... u mut take care of urself wen u go Taiwan coz sumone ryte here will be missing u always n foreva...
"Ya tuhan..berilah SHARUL dan AKU petunjuk kejalan mu yg sebenar-benarnya..aku ingin dier dalam hidup ku ini..setelah dier ragut hati ku,syurgaku dan nyawaku..aku sayang dier buat selamanya.. dan akan sentiasa menyintai nyer tuhan..aku berdoa agar kau ubahkanlah kami dan kau bukakan hatinya kejalanmu secepat mungkin..aku tak sanggup untuk menahan kehidupan seharian dengan kepedihan satu hari nanti..."
Although i never show u my luv n care..although i always scold u,never trust u,hate u n cry 4 u.., i still luv u SHARUL.. i never hate u b4,but i like ur attitude, deep inside my clean heart.. i can just say.....
>>>SHARUL NIZAM MOHD SALLEH ..... NORHAYATI SALLEH LUV U!!!<<<
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:30 PM
RaNsOM LeTTer
so you stole my heart, and left me a ransom letter
demanding I treat you better, should I ever want it back and
now I'm all alone
dreams are all forgotten, memories all turned rotten, it's not
the same on the phone
so what's up girl?
things haven't changed a bit since we last met
I bet my bottom dollar you're the best, girl that I ever had
I never wanna lose you
so what's up?
I can't let you walk away
we planned to live forever in each others arms
so
please hold on
you know-no one will love you like i do!
and that's the thing-you know it too
I hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
you're on my mind, I can't let you go
I'm all alone and I just want you to hold
please take my hand. never let me go
I hear our song it keeps playing on the radio
you're on my mind, I can't let you go
please make your mind up, don't see what the future holds
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|1:58 PM
Thursday, February 17, 2005
sEandainya masih Ada cinta
Usah kau berpura
Di sebalik kata
Kerana kutahu siapa diriku
Tak perlu merayu
Dengan pujukanmu
Biarkanlah saja semuanya pergi
Cukuplah sekali kau menghiris hati
Menghancurkan kasih yang lama terbina
Seandainya masih ada cinta lagi
Lupakanlah oh sayang hasrat dan perasaanmu
Korus:
Rindu nan membara menyala dan membelai jiwa
Tiada berteman sepinya berpanjangan
Resah dan gelora menjadi sahabat derita
Berakhirlah sandiwara kisah dusta dan dilema
Pintaku semoga kau sedar
Kesilapanmu...
Kini hanya duka
Bersulamkan pasrah
Titis airmata tak lagi bererti
Namun di hatiku
Terukir namamu
Menjadi memori kekalnya abadi
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:39 PM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Alasan Mu
Ikhlasnya hati
Sering kali disalah erti
Tulusnya budi
Tidak pernah engkau hargai
Berlalu pergi dengan
Kelukaan ini
Kumengalah... ku bersabar
Bertentang mata seolah-olah tiada apa
Berpaling muka ada saja yang tidak kena
Mencari sebab serta alasan yang kukuh
Supaya tercapai hajatmu
Manis dibibir memutar kata
Malah kau tuduh akulah segala penyebabnya
Siapa terlna pastinya terpukau
Pujukmu, rayumu, suaramu
Yang menagih simpati dan harapan
Engkau pastinya tersenyum
Dengan pengunduran diriki
Tetapi bagi ku pula
Suatu ketenangan
Andai kita terus bersama
Belum tentu kita bahagia
Selagi tidak kau ubah
Cara hidupmu
Ada rahmatnya
Bila tidak lagi bersama
Terasa jauh
Diriku ini dengan dosa
Ku tinggalkanmu walau tanpa kerelaan
Yang nyata kau tidak berubah...
Katalah apa yang kau ingin
Selagi kau dapat berkata
Memang begitu sikapmu
Semenjak dahulu
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:46 AM
Haiz...Bosannya kene keje 3-11 for 5 daes straite! wt a boreD day.. weekend too....doing nuting but just werk! i wanna quit lah.. oon,after i get a new job nanti! nie part tym but haf to werk everyday Sey..n 8 hrs pulak tuh! boring! aaarrggghhh........ life getting bored n so lonely nowadays..Fed up Siah!! Can i get a new job as soon as possible.. ??but i cant,u noe why?? wen i got to go to werk lar..at 7-eleven nie..boring! no lifE!! aaarrggghh....
Nari...3-11 lagik! keje nie tk mencabar langSung siak! noting tau..nuting! wt e hell.. besok 7-3.. back to back shift lagik! lagi bosan! arrgghh....well...god plz help me to get new permanent job..plz.. plz forgive me plz... haiz...
P/S yesterDay V-Day...hahaha! (14-02-05)
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:42 AM
Monday, February 14, 2005
Well blog...im upset lah coz a fren whu i really appreciate is never meant to be a TRUE fren to me..isnt tat sad?? y must i met thoSe people??im SinCere n im happy to noe them,but when the tyme wen they Are happy,they got new people,they dun bother bout me animore..wt a stupid Reason wen u said,i got gal now n i cant contact u anymore..!! lame!!!!! merepek lah..ade kwn mcm nie eh? haiz...Sigh! i hate tiS man! i never get the chance to have a gud fren yg baik.. nvm Fuad... guess,u're happy with ur gal now..tat wat u wann..
just remember..."cinta pada seseorg hanya di dunia,cinta pada tuhan itu lebih manfaat diakhiRat nanti"............
Aku penat ah keje..haiz..so bored lucky got radio to keep me accompany! well....i got such boring life now! can sum1 feel my heart with luv n care??? can? whu?? only god can help me... god...help me to survive all tis while...im sorry 4 wat i've done..i didnt mean it but..im Really SoRRy..~~
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:19 AM
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Kau tahu blog?? smlm,dier paksa aku jumpe dier..Hari wednesday mlm
(9-2-05) aku msg dier ajak dier tengok crite Constantine,tapi dier tak reply pon,aku pun buat bodoh Sampai tdo2..then the next morn i msg him "da bgn",he reply as usual lor..tru aku ajak lagi dier pi tgk wyg,dier nak pi tengok boot dengan kawan2 dier sebab boot dorg da koyak..wat e stupid reason,hari raya cina mane ade kedai bukak?? betul tak??wat e Stupid thing!!! u tink i dunno??? wah low we!
then,he ask me to come his house,aku tanak,far n 4 wat?? 4 his own pleasure only!!not me coz im not in mood fOr it! plz lah Sharul!!
then u noe wat?? he force me mcm pe kejap2 msg mcm pressure siak,aku layan gitu2 jerlah,but his too much..want to pay 4 me the Cab money, just ask me to cum over becos he Sick!! wat the hell!!! he ask me 4 exists dengan dan tanpamu lirik but i have to type 4 him..panjangnyer lirik pon dier nak jugak! aku ckp tat song specially 4 him,he never said anything!haiz!!! trus tu,dier paksa lagi aku pegi! mak kau! aku malaz ar dgn dier.,at nyte pon dlm kul 7.30,dier msg aku lagi nak suruh ku dtg lagi,aku takmu jugak, u imagine lah,he tell me hes grandparents cuming to his home later at 10 n hes mum cuming back at 3am in the morning! let make the last one b4 they cum back! mak kau! ape nyer anak siak ey..mampoz ar! lagi suruh aku kol, aku tgh makan siak,then he nak jugak ku tepon..aku sengaja buat lambat2 lah..then wah dier mg tk payahlah u,wen i kol back,ade lagu maroon 5 dier reject! wat the hell... dier ckp," i malaz nak layan u..bye" pukimak dier lah...tak tau and tak faham2 lagi!!nak ikut kehendak nafsu dier jer..pi kawin ar kalo ko nak sgt,jadi halal!! hari2 ku bagi..jgn takut! Sudahlah..aku tak kuasa nk ckp.. im just irritated by his actions! too much of give in...hate it!!!
tadi ptg aku sempat pegi masjid beribadah jap..aku nampak ader ade kelas agama yg boleh aku pegi..hmm...every unday,pukul 9.15-10.15, ten dollar per month..oklah tu..erm..20th start..maybe aku join,insyallah!! then..mlm malam,malam jumaat,aku bilang ina the truth..,sebelum tu,ader orang ketuk umah kite,ckp yg abang aku nie pi lempar chat dekat umah org,haiz..ntahlah..ku tk pham ar dgn dier!!!then,makcik aku dgn mak aku da mengamuk2,i haf nuting to say... the man yg bawak org2 dtg umah aku carik abg aku pasal hutang tu ar,kuranhg ajar,ketuk tgh2 malam,tkde adat.
biarlah...aku pening,taktahu nak buat ape dah,cepatlah dpt keje!! haiz!! klah..bubyyeee....i gtg..mak aku bebel lagi...4eva!!
Friday...the best dAy ever..... plz open my heart 4 the better!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|4:13 AM
Friday, February 11, 2005
Masalah sosial yang parah di kalangan umat Islam sering dikaitkan dengan masalah jiwa yang tidak tenteram. Jiwa yang resah, tertekan dan berserabut boleh melahirkan tindakan yang pelbagai. Adakalanya manusia bertindak di luar batas kemanusiaan disebabkan jiwa yang resah gelisah.
Ustaz Amal, pendakwah dan penasyid, ada menulis di dalam majalah i keluaran Ogos melalui tentang masalah ini. Beliau memetik Dr `A-idh Al Qarni dalam kitabnya La Tahzan menyebut mengenai empat perkara yang mewariskan kesempitan hidup dan tekanan jiwa;
1-Tidak reda dengan qadha dan qadar Allah
2-Terus menerus melakukan maksiat tanpa mahu bertaubat
3-Hasad dengki sesama manusia
4-Meninggalkan zikrullah
Saya melihat 4 perkara tersebut memang berlaku dengan meluas di kalangan umat melayu sejak akhir-akhir ini. Beberapa banyak kenyataan yang dikeluarkan oleh para pemimpin masyarakat yang kadang-kadang bunyinya macam tidak percaya qadha' dan qadar. Kenyataan seperti `Kalau kita buat begini, dah tentu benda ni tak jadi' sudah jadi mainan mulut setiap kali ditimpa musibah.
Maksiat yang berterusan kadang-kadang bukan mahu dibenteras tetapi diberi promosi kelas pertama, di media waktu perdana. Orang buat maksiat secara terbuka. Orang buat buat baik sorok-sorok. Maksiat dibanggakan, dan berbuat baik sudah jadi benda yang memalukan.
Hasad dengki sudah jadi sinonim dengan orang Melayu. Malah sudah jadi jenaka yang orang Melayu ramai yang punya PHD - Pingat Hasad Dengki. Hasad dengki yang tak berasas, seperti tak boleh tengok orang lain berpendapatan lebih, berkereta baru atau perniagaannya lebih maju. Bunyinya lucu, tapi itulah hakikat sikap yang ada pada kita. Adakah kita tidak redha dengan rezeki yang Allah telah kurniakan pada kita?
Akhirnya, dengan meninggalkan zikrullah, di manakah lagi pautan hidup kita. Zikrullah bukan sahaja hilang dari bibir, malah hilang dari pandangan dan tindakan harian kita. Kalau kita beramal dengan zikrullah, sudah tentu, kita akan beringat sebelum melakukan sesuatu. Kita tak akan membuat perkara terlarang jika jiwa kita ingat kepada Allah. Zikrullah dalam ertikata yang luas adalah penyembuh kepada masalah jiwa yang gelisah.
--------aku petik nie Dari jiwarasa.blogspot...
ntah sape punye...wahahahaha!! curi..but my intention i tat..its gud!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:52 PM
i did not regret tis after wat i did b4 n i noe its me myself whu had done it..aku relakan ape aje yg telah terjadi,kerna ini adelah kehendak tuhan,yg telah ditakdirkan oleh ku..aku tak dapat lari dari nya kerana aku harus berhadapan dengannya..aku hanya dapat bersyukur,dapat menerima ape yg telah jadi dan aku berharap,aku belajar dari kesilapan..tapi aku maSeh belum,knape tuhan maseh belum mau bukakan hati ku??aku perlu petunjuk dari tuhan yg esa itu..aku benar perlukan didikannyer..tapi..aku maseh belum diberi peluang,aku tak tahu,aku dalam dilema sekrg ini,bile aku dgr fuad,abby dan ina byk nasihat aku..aku jadi buntu,asik teringat ajer..entahlah...dunia aku nie makin hari makin gelap..mana arah tujuan aku yg sebenarnya??kemana harus aku pergi??aku buntu teramat sangat...!!! taktahu ape yg harus lakukan..ingin sekali aku berubah menjadi seorg insan yg berguna kelak..tapi,masih hilang arahnya.tktahu mane aku harus tuju! kepada ibubapa..aku tak boleh,mereka akan marahi aku,mereka akan memaki hamun nanti,tapi benda da jadi,ape aku leh buat?? betul tak??
ia bukan kehendak aku...kehendak tuhan,allah yg berkuasa,aku taktahu kenape ia harus berlaku,sudah berkali aku tolak..tapi akhirnya terjadi jugak!! damn it!it all lies between me n god..i noe wat i did! too late too regret,coz it already happen to me..i jus need to be more careful,more tegas!maybe theres reason behind all tis..i cant wait god to change me,,i myself haf to..dunia nak kiamat tau! aku maseh mcm nie!! dosa dan dosa ajer...oh yar..i got to write resume soon..jut need to change a bit,then sent lor..klah..i msg again kay?? i wana go masjid later...btw,hapi CNY!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:43 AM
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Merepek!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|12:06 PM
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Mimpi ini orang kate...permainan tido..bile pikir balik...tak ade gunenyer.kadang2 ia kenyataan..kadang2 sebaliknya...hmmmmm,hairan! very weird dream i had...dream im gonna get married with sharul..but,his mum yg nak nikahkan kite..,kalau lah mimpi itu menjadi kenyataan.demi tuhan aku lah insan yg paling gembira didunia ini!dalam mimpi tu,aku dgn ibuku ku,mak sharul dgn bapak dier, dier yg takder..aku kenal2 dgn mak dier,trus mak dier ckp,nak nikahkan kite..mak dier balik hajikan kan 11,dalam mimpi mak dier balik haji 7th n its today! n Sharul didnt noe it!lepas ns,nak nikahkan kite... erm....funny... its not gona be true kay! plz....... hahaha! but..aku doakan ia akan jadi Suatu hari kelak..kalau da kawin,nikah..Semuanya halal.. skrg..erm....tidak!!!!!!! arrrggghhhh... goD...plz forgive me 4 wat i've done! haiz....ya ampun! ya allah!! subhanallah... kuatkan lah iman kami..letaklah kami ke jalan yg benar..amin!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:50 AM
Monday, February 07, 2005
im in pain!! aarrrgghh....lucky he still did mSg me..he still conCern bout me too... i luv u Dear! i'll never 4get the Date..5th of February 2005! it the most important date of my life after all then! no one will noe,no one will understand it! its just between me n u...perut aku sebenarnya meragam nie..haha! then,mcm masuk angin gitu! trus,akunyer kaki lenguh seh..i told him..he said its normal lar...tade papenyer.yelah! he kan happy pe..aku kasi makan...kalo hari2 matilah aku! aku pon baru balik keje..tym pass n flies very fast eh! tk sangka..cepat sungguh masa berlalu..tis Friday pon his mum nak balik dah...makcik!!! anak makcik terlalu kuat! saya tak sanggup...herm...tkpelah... kenangan hanye tinggal kenangan yer..
its ok nyer! just dun get caught ending up i ter.......!!! penatlah...guess im toking rubbish! gtg...blog u sum other tym k!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:06 AM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Well....yeah,after not blogging 4 the past two daes..im here now... well..again,yesterday i never reply all his messages.he msg me like hell yeah! every hour,asking me wt im doing,?im bz?am i okey?asal diam?? is it becos i dun wanna reply coz nak balas balik he never reply me??but...i myself confused..dunnno wat i can said here... he msg me at both numbers.. wat i wanna tell u here... Sharul..even i die,my last bReath,day on earth,i always luv u! i promise coz my heart cant tell any lies. u're everything to me,although i noe u dun luv me that much! i suffer so much luving u..i never want tis to happen but,i cant take it. my heart always in search of u.y?? i dun noe! only god can answer tis!
after i Reply him yesterDay,he said he misses..he wants to meet me 2day! n i did..its all my heart whu said so.go n meet him up!! n i meet u Dear..he kol me yesterday nyte too..i reach his home around 11am..u noe sumthing...i Finally...loSe my.. ever the most precious thing in life..4 him...!!!!! wahhahahaa!!! well...i dunt regret tis! i want it also,aku terpedaya lah...taklah..bukan terpedaya,aku endiri yg nak jugak..aku takleh lari dah..dier terlalu gagah dan berani untuk meragutnyer....aku relakan sajer..tiada kate yg dpt aku luahkan padamu lagi..aku sayang,aku cinta,aku rindu kau dan aku relakan sajer...aku tak berdaya untuk menahannya lagik...now,my stomach is in pain!! dunno y...u said its normal..hmmm...ye ke?? tah eh!! i dun noe lar dear..im losing my mind over u...arrgghh... wat if...1 day i p...... ! oh god! no way..hindarkan aku dari benda2 nie kay?? hahahaa...
Hari nie,Zahid nak blanja makan..wah!! best eh!Da kenyang pon.kat Sakura Far east...tingkat dua..hmm,kenyang banget,dahlah kat umah sharul mkn tadi,bakar roti garlic lah dier bkar,then dier lapar nak buat maggi goreng.so aku masakkan lar..udang flavour.. adik dier pon makan sekali...then lepas masakkan,adik dier ckp, "terima kaseh eh sebab masakkan?"ahahaha..khairul amri..sweet eh?? tapi..abg dier lagik memikat hatiku dalam2!! sedalam mungkin ke kalbu ini!! eheheh! yesh! he wil be the 1st n last to be loved by norhayati! everything i did,i never regret...coz ,behind every things done there alway meaning..Sharul..u relly make me wanna! n will always wanna live by ur Side..if i cud.. i wish!
NorhaYati luv Sharul niZam 4eva!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|3:58 PM
Friday, February 04, 2005
YeAh!! at last its my Off n reSt Day after 7 Daes of werking! isnt it tired to werk like that??but....wt to do..at let i got the money to buy my things..my food,my bill to be paid n my .....haha! ntah eh..ape2 lah! erk...nri keje 11-3 jer,baguslah,at last!kalo tak..penat siul! erm,btw..im hapi today coz im going out with my mum! go east Coast lor..hehehe! ahakzz... eh,mcm ner nak pi tempat makan tuh ar?? nie yg leceh nie..weeehhheeee..! ajak angah dier nk relek,takmu ikut,alahai!
now..im listening to the the song fRom evanescence,MISSING! hehe...gerek sey lagu..i luv her voice..nice voice! Plz..plz forgive me god!! hahaha..i hvent finish write the resume! mcm ner ar?? haiz....nie yg leceh nie! worst to worst esok must write lar!! mesti punyer! kalo tidak melepas tau..by 11 feb sey! haiz...
mum....i luv u most! u're everything to me in my life... i realise my mistakes n im not gona do it again!! u're the only mum i had in ti world n u're the most precious people on earth tat i haf mum! thanks Fuad 4 making me realise wat i shud care in tis world..u made my eye open although ur advice is nuting ,much! thanks to my fren too 4 helping me to realise wat i shud do...i have to look to the front,no gona turn back..wats past i past n luk forward for my future!! i still have fren around me who always been there 4 me no matter wat..n i have my mum,my family..!! klah.. ku nak mandi nie,i blog again later kay?? bubyyeeeeee!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|9:33 AM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Time Fly so fast...today is already gona be 3Rd February..erm,very fast ryte?? Gud lah..tis saturdAy is the Day im meeting my ITE fren again! hmm...after meet them last raya..now its turn to meet them again..miz them...yet,i get back at 12..i keje 3-11.tak best lah..leh tahan gak..erm..then.. u noe sumthing,at 11.04pm..sharul msg me. i get a shock of my life..haha..not kind of shock..cume heran! erm..ingat saper..skali dier sey.haiz..tak sangka,but i follow my heart says "yati,dun reply plz..." n i did it !im happy n i noe im ryte! erm..yahoo!!! i guess... Dier Sakit as usual.baru carik aku! kann???arrgggh.....go to hell lar.... im always tinking of Fuad..my fren..! k lah..bubyyeee nak tdo..penat keje!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|5:51 PM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
OOhhhh goSh..boSannya!!! mane nak pi nie?? nak buat ape huh?? nk kuar tapi kemaner?? Seorang diri lagi?? erm..ok jugak eh...dari kuar dengan orang2 yg Boring,lagik best kuar sendiri..heheheh! In pon keje,leenh pon kt VEeko Weeko..sis pon keje! arrgggh....boRed! Damn! no money lagik...nak pi masjid pun aku takleh coz bendEra merah! haiz....~SSiggghhhhh~
Eh??? ko tau?? aku punye pain kat blakang badan daH kurang! Alhamdulilaah..syukuRlah..erk, macam ner?? aku ok Sekarang,im fine with my Life..tk sedih sangatlah cume,ku maseh Sedih teringat jer pengalaman aku nie..yg takde bermakna langsung dan amat membuang masa aku..wat to do...i dont even Expect all tis to happen SuDDenly. b4 i leave him,he leave me siah...then?? r u going to Just 4get me like that man??? fuck ar! u tink i caRe..Go to hell...
eh..kalau aku kat TCC da masuk 2 bulan..da gaji.. haha! but...erm.....i dun cAre.i dun give a damn... eh! biler nak gaji nie?? End of the month kan?? end of February siak! tahun 2005 permulaan nie memang sucks! Bosan tul!! AArrgggh,,,,,,,byelah.. ku nk kuar sendiri kay! bubbyyyeeeeeee!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|8:42 AM
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Wow! its end of the month! in just one month,i realise so many thing had happen...wen my life end up like this.its fated.boring life but i have to adapt to it!ekekeke...fuad! where r u my fren?? i need u! need to talk to u bout my life tis few daes..hafiz...wen wanna go out eh??aku da banyak kali tak jadik..yelah..asyik malu jer..zhaf,ko nk blanja kan??biler erk?? wakakakakaka! merepekzzz....
life must still go on...so bored!arrrgghhhh....sucks! tis saturDay gonna go out with my frens...its gona be damn cool! hehehe,Zahid nak blanja..treat from him! wah..tak ku Sangka sey,tetibe jer dier nak blanja kiter.im gona enjoy my weekend ..reali gona enjoy it! meti best.,jumpe members lama lak tuh! hmmm...supposed where r we going???
hmm...hope i can release my tention there!! yeehhhaaaa..erm... i tink i will get over him..insyallah..i can! with e help of god.. from allah itself! im gona be fine.. u noe the song "dengan atau tanpamu??" hmmm...lagu mcm real tau dengan kisah aku nie.
mcm ne nak atur langkah ku ke arah dan tujuan yg baik dan benar?? berilh ku petunjuk ye tuhan... aku berhajat..sekiranya bulan 6 aku maseh lum dapat keje tetap,aku nk pergi ke...erm..umrah dengan ibuku!
tebus segala dosa ku yg ader..aku telah banyak berubah lepas abes sekolah nie..erm...time to change 4 the better! i'll try... pokok pangkal..hati aku sendiri..,oh yah..i hope my family will be happy always...kewl...!!!
NuR Cahaya Hatiku|10:58 AM
NoRhayati Bte SaLLeH 
